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I hate lawnmowers.

This is the view from the livingroom of the little house we rented when we were first married. In case you’re wondering it was on Lake Macquarie. We were there for around 12 months and really enjoyed it. What I didn’t enjoy was having to mow the lawn, not just the yard but down to the water’s edge.

It was made worse by us not owning a lawnmower. I used to have to struggle with one of those old push mowers. Argh! I perservered for a while but once summer arrived I was stuffed, no way could I keep up with the growth. Swallowing my pride (and my distate at having to not only labour on someone else property, but also at having to buy a fucking mower).

Being one smart dude I decided to buy a secondhand unit out of the newspaper for $50. This was no ordinary mower, it was an enchanted mower. It worked perfectly when the guy showed it to me and again when I took it back a few days later to show him that it was a dud. Other than those two ocassions it never ran more than 5 minutes without suffering from complete cardio-vascular shutdown. I’m telling you, that bastard use to piss me off!

It especially pissed me off that I had to spend half the weekend doing battle with a lawn that was fast engulfing the house. It pissed me off more having to constantly perform foot to frame resuscitation on that piece of shit mower. One stinking hot Sunday, after about 45 minutes of total disaster I lost it completely. Then a calm seemed to settle over me and I was able to calmly and deliberately bend down, pick up the mower and throw it over the 2ft strip of uncut of grass between me and the lake.

Now, why this 2nd picture? (that’s MDW at the front steps). That’s so that you can get a lie of the land so to speak. Looking at it our house, to the right was only one other and then an access road to the lake. To the left there were about six houses, except for two, all were holiday cottages. It was in these cottages that four families were out the front enjoying a pleasant Sunday afternoon and watching a magic show (wow, he really did make that lawnmower disappear). Something that I had not been aware of until I turned around to head back inside for a beer.

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One Response

  1. You never told me the lawnmower story. Having a Craftsman (irony?)I completely commiserate with you. It only works when my son drives it and only until he hits a rock with it thus causing major damage. He then simply leaves it and goes inside to continue playing whatever video game I interrupted.

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