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The things we do for blog.

Just as I was leaving for here this morning I remembered a shop near our house on Coast that sells kitsch Australiana souvenirs, so I went there to buy a particularly tacky piece of memorabilia so that I could show you guys a photo or two. I wanted to post a short breezy post with pics as a change from the recent bout of long drama filled ones.

What I ended up with was another long drama filled one. On entering the shop I saw the owner and his assistant loading a price gun with a roll of price stickers. Simple enough task you’d think but they seemed to be thoroughly engrossed. Now I don’t know if she was his daughter or he was just trying to impress her, what I do know is that she was showing so much butt crack that I could have used her for a bicycle rack.

Anyway, getting no acknowledgement from them I decided to see if I could find it myself. Ah, there they are! I thought when I spotted a couple of them in the very display counter these two mental giants were leaning on, but they were in pretty bad shape. So I stood patiently while she oohed and ahhed at how clever he was. Still no response so I moved closer, about 12 inches from them in fact. Now having someone stand 12 inches away from you and look directly at you should normally garner some sort of reaction, but not these peckerheads.

After waiting another minute or so I finally said, “When you two are finished playing with your toy…” Butt crack looked like she had been caught speaking in class, but the owner, he was another matter entirely. He looked straight at me and gave me the evil eye, I looked straight back at him and after a few seconds asked if he had any others. “no” was the terse reply dripping with malice.

OK, now I’m steamed. I write much better than I speak and unfortunately I didn’t have a keyboard with me, because if I did I would have written: I’d just like to remind you of the old adage which states that poor service will be remembered long after a cheap price has been forgotten. What I said however was “Mate…doesn’t matter what price you stick on this crap, if you treat your customers like shit it won’t sell anyway.” See what I mean, if I had a chance to look at that on a screen, there’s no way I would have used two different synonyms for faecal matter in the same sentence.

As I was leaving he called me an arshole, or at least I hope he did (I didn’t quite catch it) because I replied with another bit of verbal brilliance “you fuckwitt”. The things I go through for you guys!


10 Responses

  1. At least you got a show…although maybe not a good one (there were no descriptions of BC, so I’m thinking not so good); and you provided a lovely round of expletives pour moi;).I wonder if I’ll ever stop mentally writing every time I experience the mundane of life (heheh). I tell my friends anything they say “can and WILL be used against them”.

  2. Two clever things I learned from your post today:A new insult for those who chose to wear their pants TOO LOW andto make sure not to use “two different similies for fecal matter in the same sentence.”ROFL!!!

  3. Well, what were the souvenirs? At least describe them! Gawl! :)Like a plumbers bc or a nice, cute bc? LOL

  4. robin: she was actually very pretty but really young (around 15 or 16) so I didn’t see her in terms of attractiveness. As I’m over fifty it’s a bit creepy to look at young girls in a boy girl kind of way.susan: I have to change that, while I was laying in bed waiting to go to sleep last night, I realised I used the wrong word, its actually a synonym. If I had added ‘you merde’ to the sentence it would have been an heteronym which is basically when the synonyms are in diferrent languages.Julie: again with the questions! 🙂 I purposely didn’t say what they were for two reasons, a) in case I manage to get them somewhere else and b) to see if anyone asked. And since you did ask, they were kangaroo scrotum coin purses (I did say they were tacky), so you can see why I’d want to make sure they were in good condition.anybody notice the time I posted this? I’m actually up before the sun!

  5. Poor service even in Australia? I always picture smiling men caling each other mate and throwing things on the barbee. Actually, my seven year old daughter heard that term and asked me why Australians throw things on Barbie. My response was: Well, someone has to. And I now have a new word to throw at people I dislike; fuckwitt. I like the way it sort of spews out nicely. It would be helpful to be really mad and then put a nice sting to the f……Perfect, mate.

  6. Well u definately have a way with words. . .LOL – And, seem to be giving us all some new vocab words. . .I’m surprised you didn’t say something about needing to cover up the BC being the girl was that young. . .

  7. Well! I almost didn’t ask but then thought better of it. Now I am glad that I did! That would be interesting to see. I think Ree would appreciate them too!! Here they sell the bull’s nut sacks. I have seen people carry them like a purse. Why are you up so early? Not sleeping well?

  8. Ironic how an irritating, maddening encounter can make such a funny story on a blog post!!

  9. julie: I am I not sleeping well? Are you kidding! You try sleeping sleeping with two dogs and two cats that think you’re a hot water bottle!!

  10. somewhere in Australia, a kangaroo soprano is getting the shit kicked out him by the other kangaroos because he lacks the balls to fight back.good one about the fuckwit, will definitely use that one!

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