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But first some background.

This has nothing to do with this post, but it sure is a cute picture of me isn’t it?

For all those wanting to know why I’m here and she’s there, this is not the post that reveals all. Go read a magazine or something, and come back tomorrow or the next day, when you may be in luck.

What this is, is a post that explains what ingredients are required to make such a situation work. I’m probably going to ramble a bit, because in truth I’ve never really thought about it, we don’t see it as such a big deal, nor do the people who know us well.

Most importantly there needs to be complete trust. You need to trust your partner, trust that they are not looking for something better, and you need to trust yourself that you aren’t either. If this is the case, the next most important aspect is that you have to be comfortable with being on your own. For some of you with kids, it may sound like heaven to have a break for a while, but trust me you’ll be missing the chaos within a couple of days.

Both MDW and I were latchkey kids so we’re used to keeping our own company. In fact one of the first things I noticed in her apartment when we first met was a picture of an old Greek shepherd tending his flock in the mountains, underneath the picture were the words “If you find me by myself, I’m not lonely, I’m simply alone” And speaking of kids, that’s another essential ingredient, no kids.

Some of the more mundane aspects required are the financial resources to furnish and run two households, that includes not only bedding etc, but fridges, washing machines, TVs, kitchenware you name it. Not to mention owning two houses. Although some of you may actually have a holiday home.

Lastly there is the psychological need for security and this is the crux of the situation. While MDW comes from a land where not only is the puritan work ethic instilled from a young age, there is no blanket healthcare system, no longterm unemployment support and very little aged care. While I, on the other hand come from a socialist country where the value of a job is measured by how much time you get off, and where everyone is cared for. There is no time limit on enemployment benefits, everyone is covered for hospital and medical, and when you reach 65 you get a pension for life as well as discounts on essentials such as telephone, electricity and local taxes.

Put simply, while I chose to walk away from the corporate world, MDW chose to stay and protect her superannuation (and we’re talking big dollars). I respect her decision, she can live with mine. So, there it is.

Now, on the subject of how we got to be in this situation, I’ve written it but its pretty long (two pages in Word, which is quite long for a blog post), so long in fact that I’ m asking you whether you’d rather it split into two posts or posted as one long post. Let me know.


13 Responses

  1. First I wanted to say Crikey!(I’m channeling the crocodile hunter)The hubby and I teased each other that we had a prenup that said whoever filed for divorce had to take custody of the kids.We were kidding, of course.I’d like your job better, I think.

  2. HEY – Pamela, I never heard that one before. Hmmpphf…we weren’t THAT bad.And WT – are we nosey or what? We’re just a bunch of biddies harpin’ on ya…but, please, continue…do tell in as many posts as it takes!!!!

  3. Two. I know this will make you feel better.Oh and I just knew you would go for the Lyrics.

  4. It actually seems rather ideal…I love to be alone myself so I completely understand! You’re preaching to the choir, willow!B 007

  5. You post it the way you want. . .Interesting stories keep people interested – to be continued makes them come back. . .I know – you already knew that. . .LOL

  6. My vote is two, but I’ll read it either way.I understand the “alone” factor – I require about 1 hour of alone time each day in order to function normally. I’m using it now 🙂

  7. Oh Willowtree, post it in two or more, however you’d like to let each parcel of your story go… I so understand the alone factor. I LOVE to be alone a certain amount each day. I’m super sensitive and need to regroup. I find it facinating that you nor your friends have really thought about this situation that much. It takes special ingrediants doesnt it? Special people.

  8. I love the “children playing” in the photos…and the “Child Sleeping.” …and also your writing…write as much as you like…it’s your blog……also like the “clock” so we know what time it is there…I always have to count on my fingers to figure it out…Goodaye Mayte…

  9. Do a two-parter. It provides us with a nice cliff hanger.I understand the business with superannuation. I’ve been working for the good old Gov since I was 21. I will retire with a pretty penny. I would do anything to keep mine as well.Can’t wait to hear the story.

  10. Do it in two parts…on one day 😉

  11. Ok, I’m glad you guys saw the sense in a multi part story. Long ones bore me to tears, or worse, I just don’t read them.

  12. Well, now. I like being alone. I don’t think that I would want to live with anyone again. I would probably have to be stupid in love. Even then, I LIKE the idea of not living together, just having really nice visits. Yeah, that works.

  13. I love the time that I spend alone. I don’t understand how teachers who have their own children have anything left for their kids when they get home. Am looking forward to your story in however many chapters it takes!

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