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Time to own up. **Updated by request.

Recent events have highlighted the need for honesty and respect among bloggers, particularly those that become regular readers/commenters/friends. So in keeping with this newfound realisation, I guess it’s time for me to come clean.

I’m not really a 50 year old Australian guy with thin hair and a beer belly who lives with his dogs. I am, in reality, a stunningly beautiful, 19 year old Swedish girl trying to improve my English skills by regular writing. And before you ask, yes I do have blond hair and extremely large,  freakishly firm breasts. And no, I don’t have a boyfriend.

I need better grades in English to pursue my goal of becoming a nuclear fizzycist  physisits  physysyst ah fuck it! I wanna be a rocket scientist. I suppose I could just be a waitress, but that won’t make enough money to feed my 16 brothers and sisters who were left orphaned after our parents were killed in an industrial ice cream accident at the Hagen Daas factory.

Now before you all get crazy and start abusing me, I would like to direct you to the comments for this post. I clearly stated that I had too much class to post this picture, but if anyone really wanted to see it I would. It took about 3 minutes before I got a response. I think they look pretty good(not) but you probably will say they look uncomfortable…..


I’m the tall one in the centre.


27 Responses

  1. helga!! That’s what happened to you!

  2. Great imagination. And if itis indeed all true, you must have been my neighbor when I lived in northern Minnesota. There was a town on my school bus route with a population of 65 and 44 of the townspeople were named Andersen and 16 of the kids at that stop were brothers and sisters. And, yes, they did all look alike.

  3. Nice try. No woman refers to her own breasts as “freakishly firm”. This was a wonderfully creative effort though. It made me LOL!

  4. freakishly firm breast implants? Have you ever hugged a woman with those? Pete… you’ve outdone yourself with this one.Even better than the onions.

  5. Heehee hawhaw! I am with Susan & Pamela on this one. Women wouldn’t refer to their breasts like that. We would complain that they weren’t freakishly firm. 🙂

  6. LOL! Too funny! I think women would prefer “perky” to “freakishly firm”!

  7. Oh, you wish you were a freakishly firm breasted hot blonde chick… then you could creep out on yourself.And sorry you didn’t enjoy my last post. You were one of the people I figured out get a kick out of my ol’ sniffer! 🙂 ha ha haGood luck with your English building skills. Seems to me you have the best English words figured out already!

  8. Dang, and here I was getting ready to propose when all the female commentors had to go and ruin my hopes.Not quite sure if I agree with pamela that this was better than the onions bit though 😀

  9. LOL. . .I’m with momto3 – Perky. . .The freakishly firm would scare most men! ! ! Don’t you all like them to bounce?. . .lol –

  10. Well dang – you’ve had me fooled the entire time. HA! But, I must agree with the rest of the chicks – Freakishly Firm – um, no.Maybe “Vell, my tits are perky like the vills near my toovvn”

  11. OK, so whose moon is that pictured below? Do you have several personalities…mentally and physically?

  12. Sure, freakishly firm may not be what most women would say, but in my case they are so huge I had to make them firm so that they didn’t bounce off my knees when I walked once I hit 30.I actually found a picture that would fit the description, but good taste (yeah I know, that’s a stretch) prevents me from posting it. Unless of course someone requests it. Someone? Anyone?

  13. yeah, willow! go for it!! this oughta be good!!

  14. Hmm. This has sparked me to come clean about myself as well. I shall post something related to this when I get home.And no, it didn’t link my site. Beta sucks for that.

  15. My first thought was “BACK ACHE”Second though: deformed

  16. Ow. Crap. Jeeze.That’s just not right.

  17. cant type….laughing tooo….hard…

  18. watchout…those puppies might blow any second…

  19. PROS AND CONSpro:no need for life vests in the event of a boat sinkingCon: if they decided to take up jogging… they would make their faces all black and blue Pro: never need a tray in the cafeteriaCon: If you fall forward you’d need to call a fork lift to pull you back upAnyone else have some pro’s and cons.And Pete… or is that Petra..yours look like pomelos.

  20. How is that even attractive to guys?

  21. Those can’t be real. They can’t. I’m cupping my own breasts in pain, and they’re just a C. (Okay, a B and a half, dangit.)

  22. Heather – It’s not!!!Ree – Why do women always fudge their size? Wouldn’t a B make them smarter than a C?

  23. “Wouldn’t a B make them smarter than a C?”As a DD woman, I resent that remark, WT.Was that too much information? Errr. Well, I realize that my not have been very tasteful of me, but I am just keeping in tone with the picture, Olga . ;O)Anyway, I can’t iagine why any one would want to have to carry those around, I agree- back ache! I get those myself. Were not even talking about the thousands of dollars that it would take to alter their extensive Fredrick’s of Hollywood wardrobes to fit the top and the waist at the same time. Those women need psychiactric treatment, ASAP!I am suddenly in the mood for a game of volleyball…

  24. I saw this picture last night – and couldn’t comment at the time (I’m going to post about why here in a minute)….Those are the type of boobs that look like you could take a pin to them and they would pop. So – yes, you were correct when saying “Freakishly Firm”

  25. I’m still hooting with laughter…

  26. the hubby said its “photo shopping at its breast” snickerand I hear you have freaked out my grandchildrens other grandma.. ah ha ha haNah. I don’t think she freaks easy. She’s seen it all, done it all.okay I’m done. I promise.

  27. You said it only took 3 minutes. I’m calling BS. It totally took 6. WT, you are cracking me up.

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