Having arrived home from New Zealand bruised but not beaten (being robbed of everything and having to work 12 hours a day to save for the trip home on top having to pay for food and lodgings will do that to you), I took a couple of months of R&R in Sydney before deciding on my next move.
If you need to get up to speed, you should read Part 1. (just kidding, this is Pt 1, I just used a literary device to give the impression of a continuing story, which life actually is).
A friend’s father had a big-rig that had a contract to deliver copper tubing to Perth, and the friend told me that I could go on one of the trips. He didn’t tell me that I’d have to paint the trailer but it was ok, I wasn’t doing anything anyway. So after about 2 weeks preparation we were off on a 3,000 mile trek across some of the most barren lands I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something because I’ve been to England and there’s a lot of baron’s land over there.
From memory the trip took about a week, but my memory is pretty foggy as my friend’s father popped speed like they were tik taks, and he had plenty to go around. I do remember not being able to crap for a week after we got there! The only drama we had was just as we entered West Australia. There were what the truckers referred to as "mermaids", who were mobile compliance officers who check the weight of big-rigs. We played hide and seek in the middle of the dessert in 100F+ temperatures for three days, which wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t for the 8 tons of fresh oysters sitting on top of the 45 tons of copper.
In case you’re wondering, the compliance guys were called mermaids because they had these portable weighing devices in their trucks, which made them c*nts with scales. (even I don’t say c&nt, well I do but not to Yanks or women, which covers most of you one way or another. We actually use it quite a bit over here and its not considered any worse than muthafucka).
It only took a few days to find a job in Perth, in fact, less time than it took to be able to crap again. And when I finally did crap it was as solid as a rock, more like a stone actually, seems like I’m obsessed with a turd, just like Sharon Stone was in Fecal Attraction. But I digress. Got a job and rented a room in a house with some College students (we were about the same age). Worked there for about 3 months, riding my bike (10 speed) the 5 miles each way to work everyday, but soon got discouraged at how slow I was making money.
Then the thought appeared unbidden "Maybe there’s something in the Employment section." So I bought the newspaper, and you know what? There was. I rang the number and the conversation went pretty much like this…
"Hi, I’m calling about the add in today’s paper". Direct don’t you think? I like getting straight to the point.
"Are you Licensed?" came the reply, ah ha, two can play that game (it was a fair question given that electricians must be licensed).
"Are you experienced in Industrial installation?"
"That’s a big ten four that good buddy" (actually I said yes)
"When can you start?"
"Whenever you want me to."
"Be at the AirWest terminal at Perth Airport by 7 o’clock tomorrow morning and tell them you’re with Wardle&Yates, the flight is at 8 o’clock. What’s your name for the ticket?"
I gave him my name.
"I’ll see you up there next week" said the disembodied voice, who I would later come to know as Ron Wardle.
"Ok, thanks" I replied.
"Hmmm, never done that before."
Filed under: Serials |