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Mr Grumblebum

What better way to celebrate my successful yet unofficial participation in NaBloMePal than with a good old fashioned whinge. Maybe if I did something like Karmyn, I’d have more of a sense of accomplishment and wouldn’t feel so down. Nah!

I’m mainly feeling bummed because my computer has embarked upon a mission to separate me from whatever shred of sanity I have left, by generally being a complete prick (thank you Mr Gates for your high quality, thoroughly tested updates). But I’m also feeling bummed because despite my gentle disposition, despite my words of wisdom, support and encouragement, despite my spiritual nature, despite literary prowess that would put Henry Thoreau to shame (are you kidding! I’ve read Walden Pond, fucking graffiti would put that hack to shame), and despite having the cutest pooches in the universe (at least that part’s true) the only way I can get my comments into double figures is if I respond individually to everyone with separate comments, and then add another four or five of my own for good measure.

Not that I’m complaining…of course I’m fucking complaining, and here’s why:

Yesterday I thought I would expand my horizons with a spot of blog hopping, so I clicked the links in some blog rolls (these were all blogs I have never read before). Ok, you got me, I was thinking that maybe if I visited some new blogs and left messages, people would read my blog, be gobsmacked at it’s brilliance and become devoted readers for life. But my plan hit a snag (no, not a sensitive new aged guy, it seems that in the blogosphere they’re all blogging chicks or holy rollers, or in some cases, both ). Cheese and Rice there’s some poor excuses for prose out there! But that’s not the worst of it, it soon became apparent that the worse the blogger, the bigger the readership! There are some exceptions and I’m proud to say that they are all within my circle of bloggers.

So my plan for leaving comments all around the place and attracting new readers came unstuck when  for the most part my comments would have been "do you really thing anyone gives a shit" or "just turn the TV back on you fucking moron", or, and some may possibly have found this slightly offensive, "borrow one of your kid’s first grade books and learn the difference between grammar and your grandma, you fuckwit".

I read posts that were poorly written, had the most mundane subject matter and just trailed of into the sunset without actually coming to a point. So I’d be thinking "Hmmm, second grade English level and a myopic view of the world, no wonder they have no readers. What? Forty-fucking-four comments! They must be giving her shit!" Not so, (apart from the author not so much as making even one paltry effort to respond and giving me a chance to say Ha!it’s really only forty three), the comments were all along the lines of "Great post", "your best post yet" or "wow, you really captured the moment". Where’s the justice in that!! And what post were they reading?

But here’s what really pissed me off,  I also came across some extremely well written, humorous and/or insightful posts. And yes you guessed it…these bloggers usually got between 2 and 4 comments. No wonder people give up.

Now I don’t want you guys to think that I don’t appreciate your support, I most definitely do…without it I think (I know) I’d quit blogging. Mind you, I must admit I always get more comments on a post that just has a picture of a pet, than one I’ve spent hours drafting.

Just once like to experience the thrill of a squillion comments for a post with only words.

Well, there you have it. Congratulations to me on a month of posting (the astute among you would probably know that it’s actually closer to six months continuous posting, but who’s counting).

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30 Responses

  1. I hear ya…loudly, clearly, and go figure about what makes a blog “take off”. Oh, yeah, that great writing thing is PART of it, but not all of it. I think your pc problems didn’t exactly do anything to calm your postal spirit.

    You know me, my mind wanders, and here are additional thoughts…1) I love the number a “squillion”!–that’s a new one. You will see it again at Pensieve the next time I have need for a large and infinite number (hmmmm, redundancy? perhaps this is the kind of stellar writing that keeps you in single-digit comments). 2) I’m surprised you hit blogrolls instead of just following comments you LIKED…ANYONE can join a blogroll! It’s a cheap thrill when someone follows my link from a comment I’ve left elsewhere 3) OF COURSE, I’m curious who you read, I’m sure you have no idea now. There are blogs I read irregularly (lol) that are really, really good, I’d be happy to point you in a few directions…a lot of ’em are “God Bloggers”, but I’m pretty sure if you gave them the chance you’d see they aren’t the type to which you’re referring (chicks or holy mamas…I mean, when you read a preacher using the F word? not exactly conventional). Yeah, yeah, I know you don’t do “uniformed clergy”, but I think you’d be surprised by what you read–“this ain’t your daddy’s Cadillac”. 4) Conversely, when I see triple-digit comments for posts that are salt & peppered w/f this, that and the other, even if they are funny or well-written otherwise, I just scratch my head and think, “to heck with it, if I have to resort to that to attract readers, I’m happy with my little community”.

    Gee, a freakin’ dissertation…sheesh :/.

  2. Oooo, I re-read my comment–on #1, my parenthetical statement “keeps you in single-digit comments” was referring to ME, not “you”! Not that I think I’d offend you or anything like that ;).

  3. I have to do a *lot* of commenting to remind people I exist. A lot.

    I wish I was a dooce and could just write and have people come by because they want to…not just because I go to their site…but I don’t think I’m there yet and maybe I’ll never be.

    Still when it comes right down to it there are only about 20 blogger that I truly love to read and check in often even when they don’t comment on mine (present company included) so I should just be happy if those 20 people I respect are reading me. right? Right?!

    But no. I want more. Because it’s all about me. Apparently.

  4. Oh and yes…I skip the Jesus freaks. They’re just going to yell at me when they hit my blog anyway.

  5. Hey DubYaT…I’ve decided quality of comments is more important than quantity of comments…the bloggers who comment at your place “know” you and don’t just type: nice post… they actually absorb what you are saying and feeling.Doesn’t that count? Have you ever noticed how long the comments are here? Some bloggers write dissertations at your place. (See above)Doesn’t that count? And for us who are repeat commentors on the same post…your words cause me to ponder and then come back to add more. Sometimes what you say takes a while for it to sink into my brian… Doesn’t that count? I have noticed that sometimes the posts I spend the least amount of time one are the ones that receive the most comments. Maybe if you would run a contest and give the winner a round trip ticket to that wonderful country of yours, the comments might make it into the triple digits. If you don’t like that idea, just keep on posting…you’ll find me here if I have a computer and a connection.

  6. P.S. …that should have said and for WE who are repeat commentors…and I continue to think that brain is spelled brian…

  7. Hey, Dude! Ya know I’m not a blogger but a semi-pro commenter. Sometimes I’m quite witty, sometimes I’m just, well, lame. Nevertheless, I blog-surf for fun. (Yeah, right! I can totally thank Jenny for my new-found addiction!)

    Anyhoo, you SO deserve double-digit comments!! REALLY!! Phydeaux the cat even says so! ‘Course, he’s a little biased what with your love of the fuzzy people and all. But I trust his judgement.

    Yeah, there are kooks in the blogosphere, and kooks attract other kooks. Isn’t it true, though, that what you REALLY want is high-quality weird but amusing comments? For your own entertainment?! Yeah, quality first, quantity will follow!

    (feeble attempt at cheering you up)

    Oh, btw, get a MAC. Uncle Bill is not your friend.!

    Slainte!

    (*kisses for the fuzzy people*)

  8. Nice post.

  9. okay! I had to do it. You know I have to get my licks in somewhow because you are so damn sarcastic and funny.

    You could give away a prize.
    How about a gold framed Moon Shot.

    That should draw more attention than Mr. Poodlestein.

    Or have Name That Mooon Shot contest.

  10. Pamela stole my line!! dammmit!! I have a hard time keeping up with the blogs I do read much less going out and finding new ones. Having said that…I think that if I only found your blog today, I would still add you to my list… And yes, the comments make it all worth it!

  11. You made me smile right off the bat with your title, Mr. Grumblebum, LOL. I do enjoy your writings.

    I, too, noticed that the poor crude the language is, the larger the adoring audience. Like flies to poop. Also, people just don’t like having to think too hard. It’s a sad commentary on the current state of our world. Hopefully things soon come full circle.

    Rock on, dude.

  12. Doesn’t matter where I see her, Pamela is the wittiest, punniest commentor on earth. But don’t listen to her. If you give away a gold-framed moon shot I will stop reading OUAB.

    Not really, but really, don’t listen to her suggestions for contests. I like Swampy’s idea about an all-expenses paid trip to the Bush.

    Ditto Claudia.

  13. Yikes, just noticed a typo. The first sentence of the second paragraph should read: I, too, noticed that the MORE crude the language is, the larger the adoring audience.

    Well, it did end up raising your comment count, so all’s well 🙂

  14. Don’t hold back or anything now.
    And, eh-hem, by the way, Mr. Whine and Complain. I faithfully leave comments on your site. When’s the last time you visited mine? I don’t even wanna hear it.

  15. You know, the same thing happens to kids in school. Somehow, the real idiots are the “most popular,” while the true diamonds get overlooked. The Blog World is almost like high school, all over again.

    However, gotta give props to dooce. She can write, and deserves her following.

    Of course, I may not always get double-digits in the comments, but my site meter lets me know that people are definitely stopping by. So that’s encouraging! Maybe yours is the same? More stoppers than commenters?

  16. Amen to that! Preach it Brother! (okay that was for Robin.)
    Honestly I notice that a few blogs I read daily and used to comment on daily never venture out and comment anwhere so they how in the world can they get like 36 comments?

    What in the hayfire is going on? (I love saying that)

    btw wow, you really captured the moment

  17. Who’s dooce? I have no idea. I agree w/Tiggerlane, though, sometimes this world doesn’t make much more sense than the Real World (sounds like a GREAT idea for a tv show…hmmmm).

    Vicki, that’s “Preach it, Brutha!” 😉

  18. I’ve written a post about the comments, so this is just to get the count up.

  19. Once again I’m a day late and a dollar short.

    I have figured out that you can go to all the blogs and “pimp” all you want”, but some of them arn’t worth it.

    And the entire “Nice Post” comment is coming from people who are just commenting because that writer commented on their post.

  20. What is Jenny talking about? Living in Texas has made her delusional.

  21. Pamela – You are cracking me up.

    Melissa – What do you mean, what am I talking about? The Jesus Freaks…they hate me. Seriously. I get emails from people who are praying for me to find whatever lord they’re selling. All. the. time.

    How many comments is this anyway? Twenty-something?

    Ha! We just made you a total liar.

  22. what happened to my comment??????

    AARRRGHHH\

  23. I right this humongously long and personal comment. Open up a bit and where the heck did it go. JMJ.
    Man..now I’m pissed off.
    ♥Pam

  24. Okay I must be really upset…
    I write this humongously long …
    not right
    sheesh
    ♥Pam

  25. Pam, I have just today installed a comment eating widget on this blog. It’s purpose is to piss people off enough that they will make typos and have to redo the comment, thus increasing the overall count. Seems to be working.

  26. Okay, so here I am late again. Sometimes I have written nice post, mainly just because it was a nice post. Or I don’t have a lot of time to leave comments between classes. Does that make me a bad blogger?

    I agree about the comments. Everyone would like comments, but it seems to me that the more we try for comments the less we get. Like you said there are a few that don’t have to do much to get them. I don’t understand it. I will just continue my little low comment blog and be happy. 🙂 Smile Pete! We don’t need no stinkin’ comments.

  27. Willowtree – Your words speak the truth. I’m new to your blog but it comes highly recommended. I, admittedly, did not read all the comments above due to limited time (damn final exams) so forgive me for anything repetitive. I’m beginning to think, based on my own commenting experience, that it’s the really good writers that leave little or no room for comments. I will read a great post and then be blank for comments, except “Great Post” and that seems like a waste of my time and their webspace. Don’t take offense to getting only a few comments on a post you’ve worked really hard on. Instead take that as awed silence because nobody can come up with a comment that is worthy.

  28. Welcome to the party Mark, glad you could make it. You must have read some of the comments, judging by your use of commas. No I take that back, you actually used them correctly!

    I agree 100% with your comment about good writers not really leaving room for comments. That’s one of the reasons I rarely comment on Heather’s blog. I feel like I’m devaluing her work when I say something stupid, so I just read. (I hope you got that Heather).

  29. 😛 I can’t say a whole lot as my grammer usually sucks and well Im not the most original writter out there… but ahh well. I don’t tend to get megga comments either;)… It’s always fun to expand your horizons and see what else is out there. I have run across some of the most amazing blogs by doing that, one of them being yours. Ok no I’m not really rubbing it on thick I do mean that. I enjoy your blog and your witty writting. Your doin great;)

  30. P.S. Mark and WT have it right awed silence;)

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