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Thank god that’s over.

Hey sports fans, do you love watching baseball on TV? If yes then good, so do I, if no then spare a thought for poor old Willowtree, as you should know this feels. Now I’m the first to admit that there are more exciting sports to watch on TV than baseball, but having played for a number of years I will always have a soft spot for it. Not so for cricket.

Not liking cricket is a problem for someone who lives in a country that honours its drunken brain-dead cricket ‘heroes’ while deriding anyone concerned with art, literature or social justice. I’m not kidding, the last few "Australians of the Year" as decided by our Prime Minister with input from his sycophants advisers, have either been drunken loutish cricketers or drunken loutish pop singers.

Ok, so why am I so happy all of a sudden? Why I’ll tells ya…the Ashes have finally finished with Australia beating England 5-0. And while this may be an historic event (it last happened in 1921), and while beating the Poms is always fun, it still bores me shitless.

So, the Aussies beat the Poms in straight sets eh? No, no, no, that’s not what the score line says. The Ashes Series (being what’s known as Test Cricket) is played over five matches. "Hell that’s not so bad" you say…did I forget to mention that each match takes 5 days, and that each day’s play lasts a full  8 hours?

Yessir you read that right, we’re not talking a best of 7 World Series, we’re talking 25 days of 8 hours’ play between just two teams. But hey it gets better, if someone wins the first 3 matches, they still play the last two (which is what happened this year). Sorry, you haven’t got a calculator? Here, let me work it out for you….that’s 25 days times 8 hours equals 200 hours of mind numbingly boring stick and ball games, and that includes 80 hours of play after the result was determined.

"Stop complaining" you say, "watch something else why don’t you?"  I would if I had affordable cable like civilized countries, but it’s just too fucking darned expensive. So that leaves me with 4 channels in total. One channel hasshown nothing but cricket since the weather started to warm up last spring, one channel seems to only show Proactiv infomercials during daylight hours, don’t forget it summer here so there’s a lot of daylight hours (mind you I just can’t get enough of P Diddy talking about his zits), one channel seems to be owned by Oprah Winfrey and the last is run by the government. I’ll bitch and moan as much as I like!

Now that the Test is over, its time for one day cricket. Uh-huh,
cricket that goes for one full day (as opposed to the five lots of five
days for one result) is referred to as the short form!! So don’t expect sympathy from me if your spouse wants to take a few hours of quality time to watch baseball. I’ve got my own problems.


22 Responses

  1. You’re going to have to buy/ rent? some dvd’s next time you go to the coast.

    I have bookoo channels – and yet there is nothing to watch on TV here either.

    Well, Greys Anatomy and Dancing with the Stars.

    I watch those two shows.

  2. Watching baseball is almost as exciting as watching paint dry on a wall, but I will watch it on occasion. Watching cricket confuses me, because I don’t know the rules, and I never know who won. I do remember watching cricket at a pub in Melbourne drinking Tooeys’ Old. Don’t remember the match but the beer was awesome. Thanks for the “mention” yesterday. Backatcha today!. And a special thanks for the condolence note !

  3. You shoulda been writing the next installment in your mining series, anyway. Even if it took you 8 hours a day…

  4. Sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands for doggie porn.

    Oh, and Swampy, I think this is the first time we’ve disagreed (is the honeymoon over?!), but I LOOVVE baseball. Yep. *sigh*

    But cricket?!? Who the hell gets it?!!!

  5. Hahaha…Robin got ya! When you gonna finish that freakin’ mining story, eh???? Complaining about cricket when you could be writing and blogging…now, speaking of tv, did you get any proactiv? Is all the adult acne gone?

  6. sounds like a bore to me.. I have never watched it though.. any sports..lol I used to love to play sports but never watch them..

    Too bad about having shitty stations.. that would so suck!

  7. I never quite understood Cricket – and baseball on tv is sooooo boring. (It’s fun to watch LIVE at the stadium).

    My sympathies for having to endure such horrible tv. Who ever said that infomercials weren’t entertaining? (Try a good book lately?)

  8. My eyes glazed over and I began to drool as soon as you mentioned BASEBALL. Usually it is induced by the ESPN Sports center theme music .My husband is a fanatic, and has in the past, turned down “alone time” because he was glued to set watching a game. He is older and slightly wiser now. :O) Anyway, he is in a fantasy baseball league and they guys get together once a year to draft… *snort*

    Sorry I fell asleep. I did get an awesome trip in Vegas out of it one year though, when then had one of their drafts.

    I can somewhat feel your pain.

  9. I’m a baseball fan and baseball games are too long sometimes. Five days? This is clearly just one of many things wrong with Australia.

  10. Cricket is soooooo boring. I’d rather watch the zit channel.

  11. Cricket is the about the only thing American has been wise enough to Not steal from the UK (& Australia). Otherwise we’ve stolen many of your popular Tele shows, musicians, actors, and more. Enjoy your Cricket, Willowtree, because we haven’t nicked it yet, but if it gets popular enough you we just might. No. Nevermind, we won’t.

  12. Um… America.. not American….

  13. Hey Part 3 of “Wolfden bar and Grill” is up….go check it out…

    Cheers…oh and p.s sorry about the cable…I get over 400 channels…way to much for my liking and they all just seem to repeat themselves anyways…so I don’t think you are missing much

  14. If we did nick it we’d totally make it better. Like there would be a death match in the end and the team with the most blood on their uniforms get the extra point.

    Oh and there would be barbecue and super-hot cheerleaders.

  15. Oh, Robin, it’s not that I don’t like baseball, I will even listen to it on the radio, and I love going to the games. We have the JUCO World Series here for a week and we hardly miss a game…it’s just that in comparasion to some other sports, it ranks a little lower. Please don’t divorce me.

  16. Sorry Jenny, you’re too late, it’s called Australian Football (or Aussie Rules).

    Swampy – it’s no use making nice with Robin, Stephanie’s the one who wants to divorce you.

    Mark – I doubt it will ever get popular enough for you guys to want to steal it, but if it does, you may have it with my blessings. But remember if you take it, it’s yours for keeps, we have a ‘no return’ policy.

  17. All I got from those comments was “barbecue” – mmm. Barbecue.

  18. Uh, the lysdexia once again kicks it…The commentor’s name is BELOW the comment. When will I ever figure this out?

  19. That does sound pretty damn boring. I could hardly even stand to read about it–I’m not much into sports. My condolences.

    You could start your own channel, with your cameras simply focused on your dogs. It could be a big hit, especially with the preschool set.

  20. I can’t help myself


    awww.. feel better

    news bulletin. I just figured out why you renamed your blog.
    “A” puts you at the top of bloglines.

  21. Pamela, it took you a while but I knew you would figure it out. And yes, you are correct.
    I’m also much higher up on people’s blogrolls.

  22. I’m not divorcing Swampy. A girl just needs a little reassurance every now and then. *kiss-kiss*

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