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I told you it was BIG.

There have been some very good answers so far (OK class, let’s use the word for today in a sentence. "You see, Willowtree can be diplomatic. D-i-p-l-o-m-a-t-i-c".) But so far none are even close, Melissa did identify the box, and if there were a prize for that she definitely have won it.

Not getting the right answer yet is to be expected I guess, given that as yet I’ve only showed a box. But boy, wait until tomorrow morning (my time) when I post the next clue. Man I can’t wait! This is so darned exciting, sure beats cataloging my grocery receipts.

Anyway I promised you a look at the prizes, and I’m a man of my word. All up there are four prizes, two really nifty first prizes, and for the two runners up, something that they may actually want.

The two first prizes I found the other day while I was looking for crap to send ET, and when I saw them I thought "You’ve got to be kidding me!", so naturally I bought three (I’m keeping one for myself). Even MDW thought they were funny, in fact it was her idea that I offer them as prizes for something, which was really weird because she doesn’t blog at all.

Have you ever thought what you would do if you were approached by a horse and propositioned for sex (or is that just me?). Well worry no longer because if you win first prize you will be protected by this fabulous horse condom….


Yes sir, that’s some prize! But if you’ve never worried about getting impregnated by a horse (hey, if you just came here via google, piss off you pervert) you can use it for this….



See that? For the Real Man, that must be me!  I still can’t figure out what the deal is, are people actually concerned their soda could get an STD? Oh well, who knows? Who cares? Just imagine how jealous you friends will be. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, it does fuck all to keep the drink cold, I tried it driving back from the Coast.


24 Responses

  1. You don’t mess around. Wow. When does your contest end? I’ll be back with another guess soon.

  2. Holy sense of inadequacy, Batman! So, uh, do impregnation by equine happen very often out there, Willowtree?

  3. soda, right? (when you were driving with your puppy dogs in the car….?)


  4. Holy holy. Can’t say much more than that!!

  5. Mark – The contest will end by the weekend of no-one gets it beforehand.

    James – Actually, yes it does. I live 10 minutes from one of the largest thoroughbred studs in the southern hemisphere.

  6. Pamela – Holy crap! How do you tell the good looking ones?

  7. Is that “small” embossed just near your thumb?? or is it my failing eyesight?? or is it just my imagination??
    My new guess, based on your clue word, is a packet of Diploma Powdered Milk.

  8. I’m so glad I know what to do now when a horse propositions me for sex. No more awkward moments 😉

  9. 1) Can I see what’s behind Door #2?? Please??? Door #1 s c a r e s me. Because you know and I know there are scary people out there who might have other uses in mind besides keeping stuff cold.

    2) WTH is Peter reading? Isn’t it a little bit scary that he’s studying you this closely?

    3) The article Pamela linked scares me, too. I’m pretty impressed they didn’t feel the need to describe in detail the nature of the injuries sustained in the death…oh, my! After having just written my dad’s obit, can you imagine how THAT one would read?

    Ok…enough from me…I’ll go back to my corner to cower in fear…and wait for more clues;).

  10. So, what sizes do they come in? That yellow one looks like it would be snug fit.

  11. Last time a blog had a contest I won and my prize was never sent.

  12. Was I too late to enter your contest? That is one funny-looking lemon drop.

  13. Just when you think there is a glimmer of hope for mankind *sigh* The world is a scary place, I agree with Robin. Clicking on Pamela’s link made me want to become a vegetarian. Those guys need to get a real life… or even better, a Real Doll.

    Anyway! Is it bigger than a bread box?

  14. Now that is a prize worth fighting for.

    I think what is in the box is a table saw.

  15. Whoa…that is impressive.

    And after checking on Pamela’s link, I’m wondering if the guy was on the giving or receiving end – receiving, wouldn’t you think? Wasn’t there a queen who had horses lowered onto her bed?

    Can’t believe there’s a whole ranch out there for that. Gives the “chicken ranch” a whole new meaning.

  16. Okay I just made a comment on Marnie’s blog about condoms and then the next blog I click is yours with a giant horse condom on it. Just today I posted on balls and testicals. I think there is a theme going on here.

  17. The scariest thing about that prize is that it was made in China.

  18. That is clearly a kangaroo condom. Ribbed for her pleasure.

  19. Okay, Vicki is now TOTALLY in the Testicle Sorority.

    And WT, have you noticed that folks are in such awe of the prizes they have ceased guessing what’s in the box?!!

    Hey, it’s my birthday!! I’m guessing the box contains my present!

    No, that’s not right? Okay…

    Then I’ll just say Jimmy Jackets is an okay name for those “things” but I thing Giant Willie Wraps would be more appropriate.

  20. Peter – Very clever, but no.

    Bean – Don’t you just hate that!

    Robin – You will probably see what’s behind door #2 before you even read this, as I’ll be taking a picture and posting it as soon as I’ve finished reading my morning blogs.

    Spado – Dream on big boy. They only come (sorry) in one size that I know of. But a smaller one might be a good idea, you know, for those days when you’re a little hoarse.

    Mary – That’s what you get for entering a contest on an untrustworthy blog. No such issues here, I’m merely disreputable. I will send it if you win it, but it will be sent seamail, so for about 3 months you may think I didn’t send it.

    Swampy – It’s still open, in fact it hasn’t really started yet.

    Mert – No, not bigger than a breadbox, read my response to Brian.

    Brian – You might need to get you depth perception checked, that’s a keyboard in the background.

    Tiff – Don’t feel too weird, you’re not the only one who wondered if he was a giver or a receiver, I did too. Both are very dangerous apparently. I read years ago about some guy giving it to a cow and got into all kinds of trouble with the suction.

    Vicki – Still chasing condoms I see.

    Karmyn – Why?

    Melissa – Kangaroo dicks are really strange (and much smaller), they are shaped a bit like their tail, but even funnier is that the setup us reversed.

    Stephanie – Yes I did notice that, bloggers have such a short attention spans. Love your idea for a name.

  21. I think there is an electric pencil sharpener in the box. It’s just a guess, about the right size, tho..am I even in the ballpark? Office equipment? D 🙂

  22. Why China?

    Well – I always wonder about what is going through the little Chinese woman’s mind as she is sitting in the sweatshop hammering out whatever dumb plastic toy the factory is making. Can you imagine what she thought? “So, it is true about those American men.”

  23. Why am I not suprised you’re well versed in the ways of kangaroo dicks?

  24. mumph… im kinda scared now… and the link.. ewww…

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