Boy, this is really strange! I got an email from the Pioneer Woman the other day (nothing unusual about that, it was only a matter of time really, after all I’ve been sending her around forty a day since last June). At first I thought it was just to tell me that she’d renewed the restraining order, but no, it was to offer me some blog advice.
"Holy Shit!" I thought, "now we’re getting somewhere!!"
Ree has gone from being a blogger just like the rest of us, to having a whole wall devoted to her at the Smithsonian blogging exhibition (slight exaggeration, it’s not much more than a third of a wall). So to get blogging tips from her could possibly turn me into an icon of the blogging world too, a bit like Heather Armstrong or Wil Wheaton, but without all the kid pictures and Star Trek references.
I was doing the pee-pee dance over what pearls of wisdom she would impart to me, so you can imagine my utter surprise and dismay when I realised that Ree was actually feeling threatened by my blog! No kidding, that bitch finally gave in to her uncontrollable competitive spirit and covertly tried to sabotage my blog. Jezzus, I mean she got over 400 comments in one post alone this week, yet she’s still worried about my blog being more popular than hers. Why else would she go to all the trouble of sending me an idea that I’m sure she believes will sink the Dingo once and for all!
This should really have come as no surprise, we all remember the great Cooking Showdown. If you click the link, don’t bother clicking the links within that post, but do check out the comments, I think they are the longest I’ve ever seen! (both of the links in that post are to old Blogger posts). Both are now on our TP blogs, but I’m not going to look for them for you. Oh, and that’s just one more example of how sneaky she is, she followed me to TypePad but she did it about a week before me so no-one would notice.
Ok, now don’t forget we’re talking about a woman who has attracted hundreds of female readers by writing about childbirth, romance and motherhood; scores of male readers by writing about tractors, horses and her sister’s breasts; some christians by writing about church and cooking (hey christians gotta to eat too ya know!); and me, by writing about putting her panties in a coffin and pulling her classmate’s wig off.
We’re talking about a woman who has produced not one, but two different calenders featuring her amazing photography, has posted step by step instructions on how to make everything from gooey cinnamon rolls to hot passionate romance and everything in between. And that’s not to mention Ethel Merman impersonations and alphabetic burping (although I guess I just did). So what was the Pioneer Woman’s sage advice to me? Wait for it…."Post photos of grocery items". Are you freaking kidding me??
Well Ree, I’ve got news for you! I have every confidence in my blog and to prove it, I am going to post photos of grocery items, not because you told me to, but because I’ve got nothing else worth posting. So don’t think I’ve fallen for your dirty, lowdown trick.
And just to show I’m not lying, here’s a sample of what’s to come….
And what’s more, to prove I’m not afraid of failure, apart from Monday (which is Fun Monday and I’m otherwise occupied), I’ll be doing grocery posts all next week. What doesn’t kill my blog makes it more bizarre. The gloves are off!
Filed under: Hmmmm |