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I’m b-a-a-c-k (kind of)

Well wouldn’t you know it, I finally emerged from the fog of depression eager to write, only to realise that as I haven’t been thinking about blogging, I’ve got nothing to write about. "So how come you just wrote all that?" you ask.

"Hey I’ve got to start somewhere!" I exclaim. I have to exclaim, because of the exclamation mark(point).

So in the absence of anything worthwhile, I’ll just share a few things I picked up over the past couple of weeks. I’m sure you know most of this stuff already.

  • The number of days you can go without cleaning the kitchen is directly proportional to the number of dishes you own.
  • The size of the meal you can eat is governed by how long it’s been since you last washed the dishes.
  • If you are down to using sandwich (some call them lunch) plates, you may have to double the number of servings.
  • Bladder pain and the desire to stay in bed both increase at the same rate. (the bladder usually wins)
  • An unwillingness to leave the house is the perfect opportunity to eat all the crap in the cupboard that has passed it’s use by date. (same for the freezer)
  • Don’t listen to those that say there is a time limit on how long meat can last in the freezer.
  • The longer you refuse to leave the house to go shopping, the stranger the meal combinations become.
  • You know it’s time to take a shower when the dogs prefer to roll all over you instead of cow shit.
  • You have a problem with too much TV when you let the phone go to the answering machine because you’re afraid you’ll miss the commercials.
  • You definitely know you have a problem with too much TV and too little shower when you can’t answer the phone because you’re stuck to the recliner.

Anyway, so much for my foray back into blogging. Have a nice day.

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24 Responses

  1. Welcome back willowtree, are you going to share some of your strange meal combinations with us?

  2. “- You know it’s time to take a shower when the dogs prefer to roll all over you instead of cow shit.
    – You have a problem with too much TV when you let the phone go to the answering machine because you’re afraid you’ll miss the commercials.”

    Okay, Peter, I don’t know the appropriate way to respond to this post, because I imagine it HAS been a rough couple of weeks for you :/ :(. THAT being said, I’m sorry–this was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. I mean, on one hand, I’m feeling your pain and wanting to make a chocolate cake with chocolate icing for ya, on the other, I’m laughing!out!loud!!

    The two I copied and pasted above is when my laughter became audible, but I began silently giggling from your need to explain your exclamation point/mark on.

    GLAD you’re back. I’ve been writing some riviting stuff, and interestingly, now that I’m thinking about it, there’s a “pee” theme going on with several of the posts…go figure :/.

  3. Glad your back:o) Are you taking enough vitamin B? When I feel like that, I usually need a little vitamin B pick-me-up. Take your vitamins! I’ll stop acting like your mother now.

  4. Okay, it kinda sucks that I can relate to everything you wrote since I went through a reallybad bout of depression myself. Except the cow shit part. Somehow when I was eyebrow deep in depression cow shit never entered by little sphere of existence.

    So now that you’re baaaaack…

    I’m bringing the Python sing-a-long I started over at Melissa’s over here!!
    *singing*
    Heeeeee puts on wo-men’s cloth-iiiing
    And hangs a-ROUND in baaars!!

  5. glad you feel a bit better!

  6. I call them bread and butter plates. What a ridiculous name for them.

    We have some vegemite that is 11 years old and still eating it. It’s the old recipe that is 11% salt (not the current which is I think about 4%). I think all that salt stops it going off. What was the oldest thing you ate?

    Maybe you should put an empty bottle next to the bed for that bladder/don’t want to get out of bed thing. Although you’d want to make sure it was big enough because can you imagine the horror of weeing into a bottle and realising it is almost full and you’re still going.

  7. Quite interesting and funny!
    Happy to see you back Peter!

  8. man, do i hate it when i’m nice and snuggled under the covers sound asleep and my damn bladder wakes me up. the bathroom floor is a tit bit nippley.

  9. Peanut Butter and Doritos. They go well together in a pinch.

  10. Your post is one of the funniest (and true!) things I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for starting my day off with a smile and a guffaw (I’ve never used that word before and it looks as funny as it sounds)!

  11. Your post is one of the funniest (and true!) things I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for starting my day off with a smile and a guffaw (I’ve never used that word before and it looks as funny as it sounds)!

  12. Im glad to see you back. I can pretty much relate to all of that. Im sorry you were feelin bad but dude that was funny. Glad things are starting to look up/smell better for ya. Take care ok.

  13. Welcome back! Happy to see you’re feeling better!

  14. Hah! Excellent. Kinda reminds me of my dorm says though, and how I would frequently clean out my mini-fridge in attempts not to have to go outside in search of food and entertainment.

    Sometimes a few saltines, packets of ketchup, and TV is all you need.

  15. YEAH!!!!!! You are back!!!!

    So – did you use up all the tubed food?

    Welcome back to the sunny side of the street.

  16. Welcome back WT!

  17. Welcome back WT. Thanks for the list, I do hope you are feeling better.

  18. Oh my God! I have all the symptoms of depression…and always have!

  19. Hey DubYaT ! My posts have been going up automatically for several weeks now…haven’t been going much visiting but so glad I took the time to fly your way today. Hope your days get better and better. I “totally” understand what you have written and thank goodness can laugh about it now. Also, hoping that you’re laughing at it, too. If the cupboard gets too bare, just don’t be any dog or cat food. Smiles from the Swampy. 🙂

  20. Welcome b-a-a-a-ck.

    I hope you emerge from your funk. I know it’s not a fun place to be 😦 😦

  21. Glad you’re back on your feet. Literally.

    I cursed bladders this morning, when my 4 yr old woke up an hour too early because he “had to go”.

  22. huzzzah!! Welcome back!! Depression sucks, but you managed to get a really good and funny post out of it!!

  23. This seems to be the valley of the old attitude business. Maybe a little too much time alone? Call and I’ll chew your ear off, come on, just pick up the reciever and dial. I’ll describe Santa Cruz cuties for you…..woo, woo!!!

  24. Glad you’re back.

    I finally had to start going to a tanning salon this week. It’s the only thing that cuts the depression sometimes.

    What’s a little skin cancer?

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