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Oh boy! More awards!!

Yes folks, there is a new kid on the awards block. I know, I know, you’re all saying "Oh shit no! Not again! Why doesn’t he just stick to posting pet pix." Relax, I’m not going to rant (at least I’m not planning to rant, but who knows what might happen). While I’m not a big fan of these types of awards, I’m not going to slander these ones (those who have been visiting the Dingo for a while will recall that last time I didn’t take it too well when I wasn’t nominated).

While I don’t wish to dredge up past ill feelings (no, putting in a link to those past ill feelings cannot be legally considered dredging), I must express my disappointment at this current situation. But first let me make things perfectly clear… I’m not disappointed because I’m not nominated, I’m disappointed that I’m not nominated despite the fact that it’s possible to nominated myself! I mean shit! Even I don’t think I should be nominated, how embarrassing!

While I was writing those first two paragraphs, I was reminded of one of life’s little ironing boards. The last time I ranted about not getting any awards, one of my then readers actually gave me an award for my use of profanity. But then in one of irony’s little ironies, a week later they took umbrage at one of my posts, unsubscribed from my feed and left my life forever (hence the phrase ‘one of my then readers’). So I’m being careful what I say here as I don’t want to alienate even more visitors.

But come on! Are we bloggers, as a group, so shallow and so driven by praise that the daily adoration heaped on us by our loyal readers is no longer enough to sustain us? Do we now really need our loyal readers to take sides for us in the struggle for total blogishpere domination? (in my case the answer to both questions is ‘Yep’, but I was just wondering about everyone else as a group.)

Are we really so humble that only awards like "Best Blog Ever" will satisfy our egos? Do we really deserve an award for the "Best Photography Blog" just because we post photos? Of course the answer is a resounding ‘Yes’. But I think it really says more about the loyalty of the readers than the abilities of the bloggers themselves. Shit, why else would Dooce be nominated for every award that has ever been thought of?

I could have written all this in just a paragraph, but I’m hoping that Jenny will be so pissed off at the length of this post she won’t pay attention to what I’m actually saying.  Am I miffed at not being nominated – most certainly not! Do I want to be nominated – most definitely not! In truth, the thought of the performance anxiety I would suffer from knowing that strangers were coming here and judging me and my blog is just too much for me to bear.

So in closing, my fellow bloggers, I would like to quote William Tecumseh Sherman: "If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected, I will not serve." but I won’t (despite the fact that I just did).

No, in this case I think that Mo Udall put it more succintly when he said "If nominated, I shall run to Mexico. If elected, I shall fight extradition."

In case you think that not putting links to the Award site in this post was an oversight, it wasn’t. This isn’t a Shakespearian device like the Marcus Antonius speech in Julius Caesar. It’s just a post, and I’m not trying to get nominated for anything. Mind you, if there was a category for "best use of useless literary and historical references" I might be interested.

Having just finished proofreading this post, I have come to the conclusion that you can actually quote great writers, leaders and luminaries and still produce an abysmally bad post that says absolutely nothing. Now that’s an accomplishment!


25 Responses

  1. 1. I read your ENTIRE post.
    2. I had to read it again.
    3. I still don’t know what it says.
    4. We can’t nominate you for that which you don’t want to be nominated for if you don’t tell us what you don’t want to be nominated for.
    5. And that sucks, cause I really wanted to do that.

  2. what awards?

  3. I saw the awards – I know which ones you are talking about. I went to see who was out there but you have to log in – and I was too tired. Yawn.

    You know what I really wanted to ask was: How can you tell who subscribes to your blog and when they unsubscribe?

    That probably sounds like a real nincompoop question, but I admit to not always being knowledgeable about how everything works. I just figured out how to use firefox spell check.

    Sometime I think if I just hold my breath, I’ll surface.

  4. Not delurking because I’ve never been here before and therefore cannot be considered to have lurked in the first place. Just checking in to say, Yes! You have visitors! Yea, even strangers! (Very strange, in this particular case.) I don’t subscribe to blogs, but I daresay I’ll come back and read this one again. (Maybe not this post. But definitely this blog.) I hereby nominate your blog for Jenn’s-New-Blog-Discovery-of-the-Day-Award.

    P.S. Did you purposely spell blogosphere “blogishpere”? Just wondering . . .

  5. I need to go find something to nominate you for.

  6. Nancy – Ye gads! I think you’ve got it!

    Pamela – I suspect you may be at the wrong party. I didn’t have to log in to see who was nominated for what.

    Jenn – Now that’s a very good question, to whit- can you actually spell a word wrong when it’s not actually a word? The reason I go for ‘i’ instead of ‘o’ is because atmosphere is non corporeal, whereas hemisphere refers to a physical entity. Nah, truth is I vacillate depending on which key I hit, and after all they are neighbours (yes I spell that with a ‘u’).
    Oh btw, welcome.

  7. Ooooh, I’m with Pamela – How can you tell who subscribes to your blog and when they unsubscribe?

  8. Now see Im with pamela and theotherbear…. how can you tell who suscribes and when they unsubscrib.. that one i haven’t figured out yet.. huh. What was the rest of the post about again? I must go re read.

  9. Holy bitch alert!

    Sometimes I think you are a PMSing woman. Maybe there is some “Hormonal Imbalance Award” out there…

    I’ll google it. Then nominate you.

  10. Basically I could repeat everything Pamela writes. I found the awards but couldn’t be arsed to join when I tried to see the nominations.

    Also I think you need to do a post on how you know who subscribes, we want to know!

  11. Dear willowtree. I think I know the awards you’re talking about – the one where Rosie O’Donnell’s blog is nominated in every category and leading the votes? When she probably has a team of PR people writing it? How can a blog be about everything? WHy pay attention to awards that will allow a blog to be nominated in almost every category? Gimme a break…

  12. You are too funny ! 🙂

  13. You’re a winner to me, WT.

  14. First of all, I was going to say that I had to read your post twice to make sure that I understood what you said. But Nancy already said she read it twice.

    Then I decided I was going to say “You’re still a winner to me, WT,” and lo and behold, look what Melissa just said.

    I guess if I ever want to have one iota of originality, I’ll have to wake up at 3 am to comment.

    Pamela said “nincompoop.” (*snort*)

  15. I feel a bit dizzy from all of this…

  16. Are there Cliff Notes for this post?
    (Not original, but too funny not to ask.)

  17. (dizzily sits down and tries to clear head)

  18. As far as I’m concerned everyone I read is a winner otherwise I wouldn’t keep returning so thanks guys.

  19. Congratulations!

    and may Jenny have mercy on your soul.

  20. I just went back to the blogger choice — and you are right you don’t have to log in to view…just to vote.

  21. It’s all a scam.

  22. That’s it!! I’m bringing the Haldol back out. WT is obviously in the condition to need it since he wrote this post, and the rest of us need it having read it.

    How many takers?

    Oh, I still *heart* you WT.

  23. WT–Good question, indeed. I just kind of liked the “blogish” part of the properly-spelled non-word. Is it like “roguish?”

    P.S. I spell neighbours with a “u,” too. You can take the girl out of England, but you can’t take England out of the girl. Or something.

  24. Did you think I wouldn’t find this just because you didn’t link to me? Because I do actually read your blog when I’m not to busy being preening myself with a golden shower of awards. That’s right. I said “golden shower”. Bite me.

    Hold on. I’m going to nominate you for an award.

  25. Alright, you roguish hooligan. You’ve just been nominated for Best Blog Ever In The History of the Whole World.

    And not only did I nominate you, but I also voted for you. Why? Because you’re annoying. Also, because you do crack me up on a regular basis.


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