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You guys kill me!

Every now and then you get a post that generates such clever comments that they deserve a post of their own, and while this is not the case now, I’m going to do it anyway (come on, it’s a joke!).

Sabrina – Oh, your poor sweet pea! Hope he is okay! I don’t know that my pups
could handle the cattle guard any better. . They’re also really fun to
try to ride a bicycle over (hazards of cycling in Texas, by the way)
Starts out with a cursory reference to the trapped animals, but then gets kinda lewd with a reference to the use of cattle grids for sexual gratification. Hmmmmm, I wonder what the dryer thinks about this.

Robin
Sometimes I feel like a reeeeeaaaal city girl. (Me too! I’m getting tired of transexuals) Never heard of either one of those before. (Come on, you’ve never heard of trannies or shemales?)

Yep, educational blogging at its finest! (Thanks, I do pride myself on knowing everything except what you need to earn a living)

LMM – Dear willowtree. Sunday too far away and click go the shears mate. I
thought you were talking about the thing ON the table. And I’m still
p*ssing myself laffing at the picture of the pooches.
For those of you unfamiliar with the cultural reference, Sunday Too Far Away is a classic Aussie move about shearers, starring a young Jack Thompson (he’s a real story in himself! For years he lived with two sisters, yes I mean he screwed them both, no shit!)

Songbird – Thanks for kind comments on my Sorrow post. I also don’t understand
some American’s views on automatic weapons (and weapons in general for
that matter). We make strides forward in one administration then lose
all that we’ve gained in the next administration.
Nothing to laugh about here, this is about the tragedy in Virginia, my sincere condolences. But guys, come on, do you really believe he could have killed 31 people if he didn’t have an automatic weapon?

Nikki – "Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up" say the uber cute puppy dogs.
Well, I guess that’s one interpretation, and a clever one at that, but I’m going with "Hey WT, check it out! We really are that fucking stupid!"

Katie – How’s Beep settling in? There is an update planned for the near future.

Simply Jenn – OMG! That is absolutely freaking hysterical. I hope it’s not supposed
to be sad, because I’ll be smiling about that pic and the looks on
their faces all day!
What difference does it make if it’s supposed to be sad or not? The whole point is to get a laugh out of someone else’s misfortune! There is no nobler endeavour. PS. it wasn’t supposed to be sad, after all, they did get out eventually.

Katie – I was actually thinking it was a surry carriage although I knew a sulky is used for harness racing.
In truth, I thought sulkies were only used for harness racing too. I was quite surprised when I discovered that there were also models for pleasure, such as the one in the picture (I had to look it up because I wasn’t actually sure exactly what it was called). Even more surprising was that picture on the site that I found looked exactly like the one in the picture!

Jenny – Ha!  I totally would have guessed cattle grid.  But then, I’m a rural Texas kind of girl.
Well that’s just like like you. It’s all about bovines and blowjobs to you isn’t it? (hey don’t get made at me, she started it!). I’ll get you for that nomination too!!!

Pamela – awww…. I think I saw that sheep thing on DIRTY JOBS!!!!
In one of life’s little twists, if you look at the closeup picture of the classing table you’ll see that it has significant discolouration (black crap). This is caused by the lanolin in the wool, a substance that is used in many soaps.

Claudia – Shame on you throwing those dogs in there for a picture!! (hehe) Why do you have the wool table in a hangar??
They’re my dogs, and if I need to throw them on a cattle grid to provide comic relief in return for food, then so be it! I’m storing it temporarily for my neighbour’s father.

Heather – Educational. If I ever write a novel set on a ranch, you’ll be my go-to guy.
If you ever need background info on self gratification, flatulence, anti-social behaviour or poor diet, I’m your guy for that too.

Jen – My cousins had to
teach me how to walk across the cattle guard during a family reunion
years ago. Fun times. Somehow, I tried to cross the thing by
side-stepping and got my whole leg stuck in between the bars.
If that ever happens again, give me a call and I’ll send the boys over to keep you company.

Wolfbaby – Are they takin a nap?
No, it’s only their brains that are asleep.

Lisa – Sorry to ramble.  Just thought I’d let you know that your dogs aren’t the onyl silly ones.
I may be mistaken, but I think this is the first time you’ve commented, if that’s correct, then welcome and thanks for the input. Rambling is perfectly acceptable. I just visited your blog, I hope your daughter is OK. If you don’t already, you should read Pamela’s blog, she’s a birdwatcher too.

OK, these next two comments don’t need any input from me as they are already  off the bizarre scale….

LMM – Dear willowtree. Back again after a bottle of ukrainian shampanskoye.
MmmmMmmm. Preemtping the hangover tomorrow and commenting tonight
(although there’s no new post). I just realised – see the wall to the
right of the pooches? We had those walls all around our school and we
used to have races to see who could scale them the quickest OR get the
best scab on their knee. Ah memories. Have to go, stomach ache
(probably related to the fact they make wine from powder here, not
grapes).

LMM again – PS. I love allllll of youssse. No, seriously, I realllly love allll of
yousse. I mean it. there’s nothing like lovvvinggg all of youuusee. And
there’s nothing like powdered champagne.
All I can think of here (apart from, ‘either her keyboard has some keys stuck, or she really is pissed’) is a quote "Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends"

Karmyn – Around here they just have to paint lines on the road to trick the cattle.  (we have really stupid cows).
I think this one belongs in the previous group too.

ChrisB – Well something else I’ve learned today. Love the picture of  B&B (I assume no dogs were hurt in taking this picture!)
No dogs hurt…ah yeah, that’s right…no dogs hurt around here…

Beccy – My mil has a cattle grid, I still love walking over it!
Apparently you could double your pleasure if you got a bike!

**Updated** Even though this wasn’t part of the post in question, I just had to include it…

Susan in Va (who else?)
        Clever you are much.
        Sneaky as well you are.
        Call me Yoda you may.
Medication taking she is.

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18 Responses

  1. Well if all else fails and someone ask you can always say at least the blog give you a sniggle.. snort/gigle. from time to time when your absurd friends… leave absurd comments.

  2. I’m so relieved I didn’t comment on your last post. Now I can laugh at those others who did.

  3. You are a cruel blogmaster. I’m going to be more careful what I say from here on outs. heh heh heh

  4. Your commentors (?) are like kids, WT! You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried. They’re just feeding you blog material! “Cruel blogmaster” – good one, Karmyn.

    Clever you are much.

    Sneaky as well you are.

    Call me Yoda you may.

  5. Nevermind.

  6. The guns used in the Virginia tragedy are pretty common and widely used–I have both just a few feet from me.

    There is a difference between semi-automatic (which he used) and automatic.

    Australia and England are good examples of what happens with more gun control–huge increases in crime. No thanks. I like being able to defend myself.

    (Kind of a hot topic with me…)

    The guy was pretty disturbed. Did you see this “play” he wrote that’s been posted online http://news.aol.com/virginia-tech-shootings/cho-seung-hui/_a/richard-mcbeef-cover-page/20070417134109990001

  7. um, okay. i’ll add the flatulence and everything else to the list.

  8. I’m totally confused. I love that.

  9. Kila – The fact that they are common is the problem.
    Australia and England are good examples of what happens with more gun control–huge increases in crime.” Who told you that??

    There can’t be an increase in crime related to the introduction gun control in either of these countries, because they have both always had gun control. And when Australia increased controls after the Port Arthur massacre, crime levels decreased significantly. I feel quite safe here, and I certainly don’t see the need to own a gun to defend myself, mainly because the guy attacking me won’t have a gun either.

    Actually the opposite of what you say is the case, see for yourself:
    here
    or here

    I don’t dispute your right to bear arms by any means, I’m just saying that it’s harder for an idiot to kill 31 people with a knife than a gun.

  10. Dear willowtree. Of course my finger didn’t get stuck. I was laying flat on my back, listening to simon and garfunkel, typing with one finger in the dark. Let’s just say you’re lucky you could read the damn message. Ahhh, powdered champagne. The story is: about double the amount of wine is produced than the harvest should actually yield. They ‘extend’ the wines synthetically… or something.

    But for an exciting read on the bubbles I was drinking last night: Soviet Champagne.

  11. Dear momto3cubs. I’m with willowtree, I’ve never felt scared or threatened in Australia, whether it’s in the country in the middle of the night, camping in national parks or roaming the city streets a little worse for wear. I’ve always felt that safe. Bad drivers are probably the thing I hate most in Oz, especially on the highway.

    Australia isn’t a high crime country – read the papers. It’s usually accidents or property prices (yes, we’re that obsessed) that make headlines, not crime…

  12. you guys don’t really need guns anyhoos, do ya? What with all the snakes and spiders and water creatures….”This is a country where even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay you out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but sometimes actually go for you…” fluffiest caterpillars…

  13. And yet…I know one day I will make it down there!!

  14. Willowtree just reading your comment re the guns, I admire you for saying that. I typed something similar on a comment to a post yesterday but then deleted it as I felt that that comments page wasn’t the correct place to air my views. Ireland would be the same as the UK and Australia, of course the criminals have guns but they seem to be busy taking out each other most of the time (a few civilians have been killed) but the numbers are still very low. I can never imagine something happening like the incident in Virginia Tech and I feel very safe purely because I know there are no guns here.

  15. Glad I commented yesterday. . .I won’t even try to explain my comment further. You made it much more amusing. But just so people know, you get stuck like the dogs do if you take the wrong angle over the cattle guard–but worse, and you fly off the bike. Oh, and everyone knows the cool thing to do is to stand on your pedals to *avoid* the vibrations when you ride over something bumpy. . .But here I am explaining myself. . .must just be my week to seem like a perv in comments!

  16. Looks like you subscribe to the “anything you blog OR COMMENT” can and WILL be used against you! I’m good with that :).

    BTW, didja know the link to me in your “Friends” list is to my old Blogger blog? Just scrolled over it and noticed…

  17. I wrote, “”Australia and England are good examples of what happens with more gun control–huge increases in crime.”

    You wrote, “Who told you that??”

    I’ve read it dozens of times over the past few years, in magazines, newspapers, online, etc. that armed robberies and assaults, for example, have increased dramatically in Australia and England, and that seniors especially are victimized. I’ve read it so often (even in travel magazines) I thought it was just common knowledge. England and Australia and Canada are repeatedly used as examples of gun control failures and increases in crime. It’s something people talk about when planning trips there.

    Argh, LOL, I had a whole list of links to articles, and tried repeatedly to post it, but kept getting the error message, until I finally deleted the whole list of links. You could Google to find dozens of articles pretty quickly.

  18. Percentage increases are fine – until you realise that 2 percent of populations of 20 million and 56 million in Australia and the UK respectively, is a WAAAAAY smaller number than 2 per cent of 300 million (US).

    Gotta watch those percentage articles.

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