I knew I should have listened to my instincts and not bring a female cat into my life (don’t forget, I got Beep for MDW in the first place). I’ve only ever had one female in the past and it was a spiteful, ungrateful, emotionless, nasty piece of work (a bit like MDW really, relax, she never reads this stuff). My gut told me it would be a mistake to upset the balance; five males and zero females here at my utopia in the bush seemed to be a pretty good mix. Sure MDW visits occasionally, but she never stays long, so everyone is happy.
This morning when I came into the computer room, Beep was (I thought) on the keyboard, turns out she was actually at the keyboard. By the time I got to her she had managed to save the files and clear the screen, but being a computer tech it only took me a little under sixteen hours to locate them. What I found was rather disturbing.
I have sensed for the past couple of days that she no longer looks at me with the same levels of love and devotion that I saw in her two weeks ago. When she first arrived here she used snuggle up on my chest and go to sleep and that’s where she would stay all day. Stupidly, like most men, I took this to be affection, whereas she simply wanted a safe place to sleep out of the reach of the dogs.
Well, now the cat’s out of the bag (not often you get to say that when you’re actually talking about a cat), and I’m now almost certain that her feelings for me have cooled a little, if there ever really were any feelings in the first place.
When I finally found the files they looked like fairly innocuous cat pictures, but being the suspicious, analytical, techno-geek nerd that I am, I ran them through as series of reverse iterative algorithms that isolated the extraneous binary code and uncovered secret ASCII characters. I then re-compiled and reverse engineered the code using various SQL paradigms to come up with a number of composite files that revealed the following pictures. Don’t look at me like that! If the guy on Numb3rs had said all that, you’d believe him. (in fact I’ve seen it happen on both Numb3rs and NCIS, so it totally could be true!)
Anyway, here’s what I found….
And on top of that, she seems to have made friends with all the other critters and now I think she is trying to turn them against me too!
**In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, 4"x2" is pronounced four by two.
Filed under: Pets |