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The table’s turned

You have all witnessed my penchant for taking your comments out of context and making fun of them producing high quality posts with your input. Well something happened today that has never happened before; a comment that I wrote was so stupid that it actually made me laugh.

So I thought to myself, "Self, you could get a post out of that!".  However I dismissed it out of hand, deciding that it was a bit light on substance and only went three lines, even though I did post this a while ago (you have no idea how hard that link was to find!). But then I thought "Hey what if I get a couple more?", to which I replied "Mate, you’re a fucking genius!" So I grabbed a few more that I wrote in the last 24 hours (only the fresh stuff for you guys).

These were all written before I wrote the funny one, so it’s not a setup. I’m not going to say which one made me laugh, we all have a different sense of humour. The upshot is that now you get a chance to laugh at my stupid comments (not that I’m calling any of yours stupid), you also have the opportunity to make your own smart arse comments at my expense, just like I do with you. The links are only to the blog, not the actual post  (I’m too lazy for that), but seeing as all these were written in the last day or so, if you really need to put them in context you should be able to find the posts easy enough. (Fuck! I just wrote a book and I haven’t even got to the point yet!)

Ok, here we go…..

This is an issue I’ve had with MDW for years. She keeps trying to throw out my underwear, and I keep telling her they only smell like someone has died in them.

Boy you’ve really aged. And no, they weren’t my genitals, my genital tattoos are are little strange so I rarely show them to friends, people in the street are another matter.

How romantic, you should be honored that your husband is reminded of you when he sees two turtles screwing.  Sadly, when I’m screwing my wife, I tend to think of turtles.

When I read "For you, I’m saving my pennies" I thought she must have forwarded you one of my emails, the one that caused her to block me from being able to send anymore. But then I realised there was an extra ‘n’ and an extraneous ‘e’, phew!. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that email…

Wait, so are you saying you shouldn’t give kids dog poo instead of play doh? Or are you saying you just shouldn’t let them eat it?  I’m confused.

Little Miss Moi:
I find that farting while shaking hands generally leaves a lasting impression.

……So guys, have at it!


22 Responses

  1. Well, the turtle comment definitely did make me laugh, but I’m betting on the genital tattoo comment because it made me laugh even harder and think “WTF?” So of course I had to go read Marnie’s blog and find out what it meant. Now I just have more questions and I’m thinking “WTF!!!”

  2. Dear willowtreat. All I can say is that you certainly leave a lasting impression. However I’m too much of a lady to fart while shaking hands. I make sure I let it slip at least a couple of seconds before (and a couple of metres away).

  3. WT I have to learn to read blogs after you’ve done your commenting when I want a laugh!

  4. If you can burp and fart at the same time, i’ll be really impressed.

  5. You are a master as making posts out of the air. I’m going to have to start an anonymous blog so I can do that.

    I saw some of those comments during my ramblings by the way.

    Your cat and her scratch post are currently my favorite all time I think

  6. Is this some sort of lesson on “think before you speak/write”? Anyway.. . you make me laugh and that’s all that matters. (It’s all about me, right?)

  7. The genital tattoo one got me laughing.

    What kind of tattoo are we talking about here anyway?!

  8. Well, I know which one made me laugh (I’m a sucker for the farty comments).

    I’m afraid to go do this myself – sometimes I leave a comment and then see it again later and think “WTF did I write that?”

  9. Well so far so good. That went better than expected, but then there are still some peeps who may not have read it yet. I’m thinking M&M, S&M and JR (that’s six people, not three).

    Jenni – the turtle one is the one that cracked me up, not sure why really, it just does.

    LMM – you wimmen are sneaky like that.

    Beccy – I learned that trick long ago, except I normally follow Pamela around.

    Claudia – Hmmm, so you want to be impressed eh? Then I suggest you read the post called “An Embarrassing Story” in the sidebar.

    Pamela – That is an honour!

    Sabrina – I find the “think before you write” method leads to boring posts. Coherent, but boring.

    TLG – Oh, this numbnut (Ha, Freudian slip) turned his package into a dragon, ouch! You could Google it if you’re really interested. If I get enough requests I post it.

    Karmyn – Everyone loves a fart. BTW, you rank about equal with your dear old mom when it comes to clever comments.

  10. You da man willow!! I remember that story…how could i have forgotten? I love it!! yes, very impressive indeed!

  11. Claud – I have to confess your comment confused me a bit, I was certain that you would have already read it (when it was first posted).

  12. How many penis references is that? Two? And some related material regarding underwear and poo? I can only imagine what an actual conversation with you must be like.

    Although, anyone who can work a penis comment into my wholesome happy birthday post is a winner in my book. Kudos to you!

  13. When anyone mentions ‘turtles’ it just makes me think of ‘turtlehead’ (english expression) and that is guaranteed to crack me up. The farting – well, that is not so impressive unless you are like my boy who farts when I pull his finger. Regarding farts – yep we all love a fart – please give us some more related stories because the schoolboy in me just loves them.

  14. If only someday you would comment on my blog again……

    See? I still read you.

    But just know, I could NOT figure out what the heck pennies minus an n and an e was for WAY too long. And I do believe someone had to actual spell the word for me to get it. and by “to get it” I mean the innuendo in the post, not to get the object itself.

    Never mind.

  15. I had Danny read my post about his turtle story earlier today. Then he started flipping around on my blog and found the comments. He got to yours and started laughing so hard I thought he was going to fall out of the chair. I think this is why I like reading your blog–you and dh have the same sort of sense of humor.

  16. just imagine what I’ll be like when I’m old if I can’t remember shit NOW!!

  17. LOL. So, am I lucky or unlucky you haven’t jotted a line at my site lately?

  18. Sarahemily – One of the few times that I regret looking up something I was unfamiliar with. Thanks for that. not!

    Simply Jenn – I seem to recall leaving a rather long explanatory comment on you blog the same day I wrote these. (several in fact)

    Kila – I always read your journal, loved the recital by the way. Now just ask yourself a) would you really want this crap on your blog, and b) do you remember writing anything that would generate this sort of response?

  19. Dear willowtree. You’ve inspired me. I have a present for you at my blog.

  20. ROLF..half the time I think it’s the comments that get me going more then the actual post… some of the same blogs we read yeah i recognize those LOL.. they all made me laugh.. you do have that effect;P

  21. I read most of these comments along with the posts that generated them. I agree with Pamela. You are a master at creating posts from thin air.

  22. Hee Hee! It was the turtle comment that had you laughing. Well, I know it had me laughing. I have to say, you really must read your comments before you post them. HA! Just kidding, but you know I had to say it.

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