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A brief history of Marnie Pt2

Here’s the long awaited second instalment of Marnie’s biography, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and thanks again Caroline for filling in the blanks, without you none of this would have been possible (you don’t need grand children, they will just end up costing you money for birthday presents).

Marnie took to her new life in Califadia like a duck to water, or rather, like a chook to poo (that may be why her imagination is so fertile). She quickly made friends, although at times her choice of buddies was somewhat questionable and she would occasionally fall in with the wrong crowd, but as she once told me "Muddy water finds it’s own level" and while I’m not quite sure what she meant by that, she certainly did fit in well with this crowd, despite their reputation as being somewhat bookish…


Being the gregarious type that she is, this group of nerds wasn’t going to hold Marnie’s attention for long, and before you knew it, she was elected president of the Chook Staplers Computer Club (by the other two members). And while Marnie has always maintained that she was only ever interested in stapling chooks, I have it on good authority that she was totally in it for the spectacular crown she got to wear at the monthly meetings…


Then in the blink of an eye, her high school days were over, this turned out to be quite traumatic for miss popular, and while she hated to leave all the geeky good friends she made there, she reluctantly accepted that she must move on. And so with high spirits (possibly vodka), she went to the graduation ceremony with her father, who was the proudest super-villain there…


With such a photogenic face, it was only a matter of time before she was spotted by the talent agencies. Scores of TV and newspaper advertising people clamoured for her services, but being a young woman of principles, she waited for the right opportunity to come her way. And so it was that for her entire time in College, Marnie was the spokesperson for Tampax manpons, that ‘oh so smooth’ butt plug…


Sadly we’ll have to leave it here as I think I can hear my mother calling me for dinner.


24 Responses

  1. @#%$%^&&#@#$$!!!!! That wasn’t your mother calling you for dinner dear….It was me yelling at you all the way across the friggin Pacific Ocean….I swear Marnie, I had nothing to do with this story at all. Now I will never get grandchildren Willowtree. I did laugh and woke Pa up again. He has threatened to smash the computer if I don’t shut up. I take back the nice stuff I said about your kitchen.

  2. OK that was mean of me to take back the nice stuff about your kitchen. I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I was a “snark”. So your kitchen is still nice. OK

  3. At first I couldn’t get past the gloves on Marnie’s ‘friend’ in the first photo, but then my gaze shifted and I saw the Manpons.



    Brilliant in a ‘threw up in my mouth a little’ sorta way.

  4. Eeek! The Joker always did give me nightmares. It must suck sweaty donkey balls to have him as a father.

  5. What is up with the hat in her “ad” for manpons?

    I look forward to hearing more about Marnie. Very interesting.

  6. manpons? are those for this “Men”stril show?

    Holy #*!# Batman. thats the original joker.
    …. and Marnie calls him Pa. sweet!!!

  7. I cannot believe Marnie just GAVE these to you on a silver platter! You’d done a splendid job sharing her history with the world wide web…her father explains a lot.

    I wonder if the Photoshop peeps (and wannabes) had any idea how their products would be used when they were creating them…

    Note to self: remove any personal photography on blog asap.

  8. Very funny and I enjoyed all the coments especially Pamela’s – I won’t be able to get ‘manpons out of my mind now LOL.

  9. “Manpons!” SNORT!!

    C’mon – where’s mom’s blog? Mom could do some serious damage to you, WT.

    And Marnie, you must just be a glutton for punishment.

    (BTW, the Feds haven’t come to get me for mailing your package, dude, so maybe it’s all good.)

  10. Manpons. Classic.

  11. …them Tampax manpons are so much more absorbant than the regular ones!

    Well done Peter. Good job.

  12. This little series of sniper attacks has always seemed to me to be just like the Vietnam war, something to keep right out of, but the addition of Tampax Manpods I just had to add my chortles to all the others

  13. Caroline – Somehow I don’t think you’ve got the whole ‘snark’ thing down, apologising tends to take the edge off.

    TLG – Exsqueeze you.

    Nikki – I had nightmares about Adam West coming for me in those tights.

    Debbie – Argh, ye gots ter have a Pirates hat if youse wants to be took sereeusly.

    Pamela – As sweet as sweaty donkey balls!

    Robin – Too late.

    ChrisB – Ah yes them Manpons are a blessing.

    Tiff – You don’t snort manpons, you stick’em up your arse.

    Melissa – I think so too.

    Marnie – Why thank you. I aim to please.

    Peter – I know what you mean, those darned VietCanadians are sneaky.

  14. I’ll give Mom the “Melissa/Marnie School of Snark” lesson at Sunday dinner…

  15. Manpons? I’m worried about you.

    Despite your attempts, Marnie is still darn cute.

  16. ahh

    Im just

    I don’t know what to say..


    manpons? for real?

    and how the heck am i supposed to compete with some of these commentors? it’s like a contest for the witteiest comment on dingos night or something..


  17. I don’t really know what to say. I wish you were slightly more proficient with the photoshop, but I THINK I love you anyway.

  18. I am speechless…well not really, but your post is as usual hilarious. Part of the great fun is the comments, and your reponse to the commentors is indeed priceless.

    I think your level of proficiency with photoshop adds to the charm of this intercontinental rivalry. I am off to visit the lovely Marnie.

  19. Simply Jenn – WTF?!?! This isn’t a graphic art site! It’s not about the quality of the picture, in fact the funkier the better, it’s just for fun of it.

    MJD – Thank you, actually I’ve never used photoshop, this is just something that came with the camera, and I’ve only just started using it to do these. On top of that, I’m right handed but I have my mouse on the left hand side so that I can use the numeric, paging and direction keys with my right hand (as that’s where they are). This means that I have to edit the photos left handed which isn’t that easy (try using the mouse with your opposite hand and you’ll see what I mean).

  20. I look forward to “snark” lessons Marnie and Melissa. I must be more snarky to Willowtree. I will not say I’m sorry anymore, I promise!

  21. I bet Mom had to fight so hard not to apologize for apologizing…

  22. I’m so glad to know that “chook” is Aussie slang for “chicken” and not something much worse. You wouldn’t believe the fear and trepidation with which I typed that into my Google search bar. And yet I had to know. Too bad my search for “cooter” didn’t end as happily.

    I just caught myself before hitting the post key and thought I’d better add a note to clarify. Notice the quotation marks around “cooter”. That means I searched the word to find it’s meaning and not for actual, um, cooter. I know how the minds present here work.

  23. I’ve been on 33k dial up for ages, which means I don’t visit blogs any more, I just let the RSS feeds update overnight and check them in the morning. Unfortunately the RSS doesn’t include the comments and I must be missing out on something, because while I found this post absolutely hilarious I have bugger all idea who Marnie is and what you are on about. So now I’m going to get all Dr Livingstone on this blog and track it down.

    Manpons. *snort*

  24. I love that she’s so much bigger than the other Stapling Chooks. It’s like she enlisted only dwarfs and children.

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