I had every intention of finally breaking the mould today and posting an anecdote so exciting and so well written that you would have been on the edge of your collective seat, or maybe even late for work (how come mould sounds like bold, and would sounds like good, even though there’s only one letter different?).
Anyway, as I was saying before I was phonetically interrupted, today’s post was going to be of such unmatched literary excellence that it should be in a book somewhere. It had everything, you’d laugh, you’d cry, you’d wonder what the hell you were doing reading this crap instead. Well I’ll tell you why you’re reading this crap, experience has taught me that the more effort I put into a post, the fewer comments I get! And seeing as how I’m a comment junkie, I decided that I’m more likely to get comments if I did a whole post about dog meat, since that’s what everyone seemed so interested in yesterday.
Well folks here it is, the thing you’ve all been waiting for, Dog Meat….
Which, under no circumstances, should be confused with People Meat….
I know, I know, you’re all saying "Holy processed meat Fatman, that could be dangerous!" Well in fact, it’s not as bad as it seems. I’ve kinda made the scale of the pictures a bit deceptive for artistic effect, if you look closely you’ll see that the dog meat is 3Kg (or about 6.5lbs) whereas the people meat is only 500g (or 1lb).
There is another way to tell them apart….
As you can see the dog meat has a picture of a dog. That means that it is to be eaten by a dog, unless the writing is not English, then it may mean that it contains dog, in which case you should consult an expert, or possibly a Korean. One of those rolls is ok, because I’ve got Bentley (he’s a beagle), but the other one will have to wait until I get a Labrador. Never mind, they’re in the freezer, so there’s no hurry.
This is what it looks like after I’ve prepared it….
Pretty fancy huh! But wait there’s more,
Next I garnish it with some high protein pellets and plate it up….
But seriously, the main reason I use this stuff instead of canned food it that they don’t fart as much with this, and there’s no cans to get rid of. You can feed a dog dry food only, but the way I see it is that dogs don’t really have all that much going for them in life, so I like to reward their unconditional love with something nice to eat. And they really do appreciate it!
So there you go, wasn’t that better than hearing about me falling of the roof of a three storey building?
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