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Update to yesterday’s post.

A few people asked about the maps we use down here in Oz, so I’ll post two for you. The first  map is the one that TheOtherBear mentioned in the comments, where Australia is in the centre. The second is called a corrective map.

Fig. 1  An Aussie World Map
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The line you see running top to bottom and to the right of Oz is the international dateline. We do our maps like this because it’s just so embarrassing when someone can’t find their own country on the map (and even more embarrassing when someone tries to explain why). We learn from an early age that we should just point somewhere close to the middle.

Fig. 2   A Corrective World Map
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I used to have a 3’x2′ version of this mounted on plywood when I lived in San Jose.

It’s only convention that has north at the top of world maps (that, and a northern hemisphere centric view of the world), we all know there is no up or down in the universe, and we don’t know the orientation of those looking at our world from a distance. (But I assume they are mostly hetero.)

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I’m legal and tender!

Boy it sure is hard work making money, in fact you could almost say I’m spent!
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If you want to make your own, you can here.

I was reading today at Hayden’s place about a sales girl not knowing where Stockholm is, I think I might know why….
Americanworld

And finally….
Internetdickwad

The Dingo Award Aug 07.

Welcome to this month’s scheduled Dingo Award ceremony.

The battle for this prestigious prize raged throughout the month, with at least five votes being registered by mid August! Then towards the end of the month, when I told people that voting had been open for almost three weeks, and left a trail of breadcrumbs to the polling booth, things really hotted up and eventually produced a clear winner.

It is with some glee that I announce that this month’s winner is non other than that siren of snark, that termagant of terse, that virago of vitriol, the matron of mean herself, Robin from Pensieve!  Come on let’s give it up for Robin!

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With a massive 33% of the total vote, Robin is clearly a worthy winner. Yet despite this convincing win, Robin was initially surprised that she was even in the running: “HOLD THE PRESSES YOU MUTHA! I’m in the VOTING for one of these things???????” After being informed that she was indeed in the running, in her usual tactful manner, she accused me of cheating : “BTW, are you stuffin’ the ballot box?” However, when I replied that she was winning completely on her own merits, she replied, “I’ll get you my pretty! Bwwwaaaahaha!

I really can’t understand why Robin would be so surprised that she was in the running for this award, after all she has always been so supportive of me in the past:

  • You never cease to amaze me…37 comments (including mine) for THIS piece of crap nothing???!!
  • Hey……..I cannot.  Believe.  This topic.  Originated with you.  it’s just so…so…ummmm, such a woman thing?   It’s cause you’re a rockin’ girl blogger, isn’t it?
  • This is your most boring comment section EVAH!   Then, again, it wasn’t exactly your most interesting OR entertaining post, either.
  • Would you like some cheese with your w(h)ine?
  • On the first part of your post, “la la la, white noise, white noise”
  • Do I win a prize for the BEST comment EVAH for the Lamest Post evah???
  • Clearly you will stop at NOTHING just to get a few people to comment to your blog. Sheesh…the nerve!

It’s not just me who has been fortunate enough to receive Robin’s encouragement:

  • Swampy, those aren’t words, those are L.E.T.T.E.R.S..
  • OH MY WORD!  Melissa has MAN HANDS!
  • Thank you, Min, for winning this prize so the rest of us wouldn’t have to. (not so fast Robin)

Of course, then there’s her helpful suggestions to improve my blog:

  • Can we watch you boil a pot of water next?

Always delivered in such a caring manner:

  • Getchur butt up earlier and get a decent picture of a foggy morning!

I admit there have been times that I have tested her patience a little:

  • Hmmph…hands on hips, bottom lip poked out.  The Southern Belle wants to bit$*smack the Aussie.

Then there was the time when simply being snarky just wasn’t enough, and she decided to sabotage my blog:

  • Hey…remember when you accidentally forgot to close the italics on a comment you wrote at my blog a while back and the rest of the comments were italicized?   I think I’ll do that <i>now 😉 (and she did)

But at the end of the day Robin is a nice person who is happy with her life:

  • Maybe my boring-in-comparison-to-Willowtree’s life ain’t so bad after all….

That is until she realises the reality of her situation:

  • Dang it…I forgot I wasn’t in Disney World anymore….

Now you might think that a significant amount of effort was required to glean these cut and paste examples of Robin’s comments from the hundreds she has left over the past year, but in fact I only had to go back over a few weeks (and she was away for two of them). Also, each dot was from a different comment.

Once again Robin, congratulations on your award, you definitely deserve it!

Update** I assumed that everyone would know the history, but then I realised that may not be the case, so just to set the record straight, Robin is one of my oldest and best blog friends. She has been a constant and humorous supporter of my blog since virtually the beginning, and I wouldn’t want her to change a thing.

Geez not more awards!

Seems the more I complain about awards, the more I get awarded. This just proves two things a) my plan is working, b) you guys just like to annoy me, c) you don’t have to meet the criteria to win these things, and d) I obviously can’t count. So let’s do it chronologically (Mr Bush, if you’re reading this, it means in the order in which they were received).

Schmooze_award Shades awarded me this one so long ago that I forget what it was for, apart from annoying the crap out of her. She is a really nice gal from Texas with two dogs, four cats and husband. So far she’s managed to house train the pets. I won’t link to her as she is a very private person (shut up! she really does exist!). Shades if you want me to link to you just let me know in the comments. Thanks for the award.

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Susan
, one of my oldest (she’s actually not really that old but her kids are aging her fast!) and dearest blog buddies awarded me this a little while ago. Susan is only  just now re-entering the blogosphere after spending the Summer watching her kids turn water yellow.

As you know it is completely against my nature to modify awards, as I’ve said before I think it is an insult, to not only the person who invented the award, but also the person who awards it to me. However, in this case I had to make a (very slight) modification because frankly the colours were just a little too gay for a great hunk of manhood like me (not that there’s anything wrong with being gay).   Thank you Susan, my name is Indigo Montoya prepared to die!

Creativebloggerawardwhite_215x38Laurie awarded me this last one just yesterday (dingo time). Laurie is another dog person who luckily has had more success house training her husband. Thank you Laurie.

As always, I will not be perpetuating the craziness by awarding anybody these awards. However in order to perpetuate some stupidity, I’ve come up with my own award and that will be awarded in a day or so.

Fun Monday #31

Fun_monday_2
It’s that time again, time for all the comment junkies out there to get our outfits ready and hope someone gives us something. Yep, it’s Fun Monday again. This week the lovely Lisa has asked us why we blog (hmmm, I think I just answered that)…

I’ll approach this the way teachers do when they don’t know the answer to something (to all you teachers out there… and you thought we didn’t notice!). I’d like to explain why I blog by asking a question of my own: "Have you seen the crap that’s on TV lately‽ ".

Well I guess that about does it. See you all next week. Oh wait, there is something that I wrote in the early days that fits the bill nicely: A Thought About Blogging (from a year ago). Go on, click the damn link, it’s only a short piece, and don’t forget to come back after you read it, as the comments are closed on that post, and I need my comment fix. I could have just cut and pasted the whole thing, but I wanted to get your hopes up that my Fun Monday post was a short one.

PS. I’ve been given a couple more awards that I’ll be bragging about tomorrow.

Three fifty two and counting

According to Uncle Mark (the dirty guy), all I ever post is pet pictures. Well phooey on him, I post pet clips too!

If you look real closely at the bottom of the door you’ll see what Belle is after, or you could just wait until the end when I open the door…

She’s getting bigger isn’t she?

Oh, and thank you all for your nice Birthday Wishes yesterday. There were a few notable absences, but I guess not everyone realises it’s all about me.

**Updated: Just a quick reminder that voting for this Month’s Dingo will close soon, so if you want to vote you better get to it. (It’s been in the sidebar all month but no-one has noticed)

One of those days.

Ever had one of those days when the date on the calendar matches the DOB on your driver’s licence? Well this is just such a day for me (obviously I’m just talking day and month).