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WT attempts flight Pt2

So there I was, in mid air about 35 ft off the ground and I’m thinking "Shit, I finally got a girlfriend who puts out and now I’m gonna die!"  Actually I think I just thought "Fuck, this is it", but the first one is funnier, and more accurate.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die, but I think that’s only when you’re drowning, where you’ve got a bit more time on your hands before you expire. Falling is a bit different; gravity causes objects to fall at 32ft per second, so if you think about it, I had just over a second to realise that this could be curtains.

In the end it, took longer for me to get my bearings and figure out what the hell just happened after the fall, than it did to do the actual falling. After I regained my senses, the first thing that struck me was that I didn’t feel any pain. Now this can be quite a bad thing in some circumstances (I’m thinking total paralysis), but in this case I felt no pain because I didn’t hurt anything.

The only real pain was that my sphincter seemed to have gone into spasm because of how tight I clenched it on the way down, but apart from that I was fine. I just sat there trying to figure out how come.  There were no witnesses so I had to piece things together for myself, and as near as I can make out this is what happened…

The building I fell off was one of three identical, long narrow buildings that were side by side, and connected by a covered walkway running past them to the parking lot. The cover of the walkway was thin gauge metal, and between the buildings ran steam and plumbing pipes that were located under the awning. It seems I left the roof with such force after the bit came out that I did a complete backwards somersault with pike, although as I’ve said I can’t be sure because my eyes were closed.

In any event, I landed feet first on the covered walkway and went straight through the metal awning only to be stopped by the steam pipes which were encased in about 18" of Styrofoam insulation. Amazingly, the only injury I sustained was a small scratch on my leg that I got as I tried to pull myself out of the two holes I just made.

Having finally extricated myself from the metal roof of the walkway, I was sitting there somewhat dazed and confused, as the foreman showed up. When he saw me sitting on the roof of the walkway he asked (demanded would be a better choice of words) "What the fuck are you doing up there?" Even in my stunned state, I was able to be clever,  by pointing to the roof of the building and replying (I’ll never forget this), "I’m not up here, I’m down here, I was up there!"

"Well, come on" he said, "get down." To which I responded "Not without a ladder"

He just started laughing and said "Don’t be such a sook, you just fell 35 ft, you can jump 6." But I refused to budge until he got a ladder. And to give you an example of how indentured apprentices were treated, because I could walk OK, I wasn’t even allowed to go to the hospital to be checked out.

Don’t think I don’t appreciate how lucky I was, just over a month later, an apprentice I was working with on another job, fell through a hole in a slab and fell about 15 ft onto the concrete floor below and spent 6 months
in hospital and was permanently deaf in one ear as a result of the fall. I was the first to get to him, what a mess!

Now before anyone starts talking about divine intervention or some such nonsense, my view is that if there was such a thing, I would have preferred that it took place about 3 minutes earlier while I was still on the roof.

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35 Responses

  1. How come I’m first commentor when it’s not a competition!

    I’, glad you survived the fall, did you ever consider taking up gymnastics? That complete backwards somersault with pike might have scored the perfect 10.

  2. *I’m*

  3. You really are one lucky bastard. Here I was thinking after reading the title that we’d hear all about a few broken ribs, or a damaged vertebra, dislocated shoulders, etc. It was almost disappointing, although I’m sure it wasn’t for you!

    And beccy, maybe he’ll start giving out random prizes just for being the first commenter. Naaaaaah. WT like to makes us work for our prizes. *grin*

  4. God knew this would make a MUCH better story. 😉

    Maybe my boring-in-comparison-to-Willowtree’s life ain’t so bad after all….

  5. I guess you realize you were one very lucky little apprentice WT.

  6. “Bond here…James Bond”

  7. Scary! Some of the things that happen and that people are able to walk away from amaze me.

    My computer is still down Peter. I’m on my brother’s again….I pop online a few days/nights a week if I can find some free time while he’s at work. 🙂

  8. Some people are just born lucky!!

  9. Damn, you are a lucky guy! So how many of your nine lives do you have left?

  10. Lucky piece of shit. I don’t fall off of buildings, they just fall down one me.

  11. Thank goodness you were so lucky. I worry about John falling all the time. Then there are constantly stories in the local newspaper telling of some drunk tourist sitting on the railing of some beach rental and the railing giving.

  12. Wow! What an amazing story. Nicely written too! By the way – that kangaroo you gave me got away! Sorry about that! It was a crummy gift anyway – all it did was hop away and try to kick me in the head. Next time think opals- they pack nicely.

  13. Well, perhaps you should have listened to that voice in your head saying, “Eh, I wouldn’t do that.” But I’m with Robin, maybe God just knew it would make a better story. Whatever the case, I’m glad you came through unharmed:o)

  14. Good story! I can’t imagine the time, however short it was, that you had before you hit. Too much time to think and know what might be coming.

    Are you going to start giving away opals? Put me on the list.

  15. “a complete backwards somersault with pike”

    (holding up paddle): 10!

    Amazing you had the wherewithall to be smartarsed (I’m not up here, I’m down here – very funny). So, you’ve got what? 8 lives left or are there more near-escapes in your life?

  16. Dude im tellin ya you were a cat in a previous life and carried those nine lives with you into this life… serious here no laughing thank you very much

  17. Are you sure you weren’t smoking something at the time? heh heh.

    Seriously – that is a VERY lucky landing. wow.

  18. Whew! I’m glad it wasn’t your time to go cause if you’d hit concrete, or even grass, after that fall, it would have been messy.

  19. You are one lucky dude! Great story of survival WT. Are you afraid of heights now?

  20. I’ll bet your girlfriend really put out after this.

  21. I would never EVER mention divine intervention on your blog.

    Are we allowed to come back after we do?

  22. You are indeed lucky!

  23. consider your sphincter lucky

  24. If you were REALLY lucky, you wouldn’t have fallen in the first place … that said, do you suppose you were “spared” so that 30 years (? or however much) down the line you could entertain heaps of folk just as weird as yourself through a then-unknown quantity, The Blogworld?

  25. Beccy – Just the luck of the draw I guess. Trust me, with the crap I give as prizes you’re better off not winning!

    Jen – Naaaah

    Robin – Or maybe not.

    Peter – Yep I sure do!

    Swampy – I was thinking more Evil Kenevil.

    Katie – That’s a bitch, I hope you get it sorted out soon.

    ChrisB – And some are just lucky they’re born.

    BlueM – I’ve used up a few more.

    Nikki – How’s the shoulder?

    Mary – That happens a lot near our other place.

    PurpleW – Thanks. Hey what are you complaining about, that’s what kangaroos do!

    Jenni – Me too!

    Beckie – Ah…Yeah opals for everyone, that’s right…

    Lene – Oh there’s more close shaves (I’ve totalled three cars).

    Wolfie – I was a cat in a previous life, but I want to be a girls bicycle seat in the next one.

    Karmyn – Funny you should mention that…

    Brenda – True, and what’s more, the part of the building I fell off was only about 5% of the total perimeter length and it was the only place that had a walkway. Everything else was concrete of grass.

    Coroline – I’m no great lover of heights, but I have been much higher since that happened. As an electrician doing heavy industry construction you can’t avoid them.

    Melissa – You’d think…

    Vicki – Sure, you just need to use another name!

    Debbie – Yep, I think so too.

    Raffi – I consider my sphincter closed.

    Robinella – Hey! NO praying around here!!

    Melissa NZ – That’s what I think too!! A really lucky person wouldn’t have fallen off the roof.

  26. Your Guardian Angel, “I look away for ONE SECOND…”

    Or maybe it was, “This’ll get his attention…”

    Too bad it wasn’t videotaped and turned into America’s Funniest Videos. You could be a millionaire now.

  27. You defy gravity, willowtree. And it defies you.

  28. I was just thinking on the way down through the comments… that maybe you should speak on another one of your video’s facing the camera… just so we can make sure you aren’t really a soprano.

  29. i could go one better on that one but i’ll be nice instead and play good;)

  30. Wow…that is an amazing story…

    Damn bosses – they sure suck, don’t they?

  31. An angel must have swept you up and protected you so you could read my blog for that is yer destiny.

  32. “a complete backwards somersault with pike”. Oh man! I would have liked to have seen that. And after it was all over “I” would have let you go to the hospital :o) I do believe you have lucky horseshoes up your butt to have survived that one.

  33. Divine Intervention did take place. You said you now have a girlfriend that puts out. 🙂 Seriously, glad you are ok!!

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