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Damn! I just keep getting smarter.

Update to yesterday’s post** Beccy said she gave the same answers twice and there was a 25% difference, which I though rather strange, so I did it again myself and this time I got…

How smart are you?

Wow, I just keep getting smarter!(and I only did it twice, once yesterday and once today). Actually I had my suspicions about an answer yesterday so I chose a different one today and voila!

And just in case you’re wondering, it’s mathematically and statistically impossible for this to be a valid result. Sure I got everything right, but if just one other person gets everything correct in the same time as me (or less), then 100% can’t be dumber than me. So unless they actually do track all the test results and compare them using Poisson Distribution (yes Robin, I know…white noise, white noise…), you need to take this with a grain of salt, or maybe some salsa verde.

I once had to write a program in FORTRAN using poisson distribution to determine how long people could survive behind a lead wall what was being bombarded by radiation. No, I was never in the military or the CIA, it was an assignment for my computing degree. What was that?  Why, I got a High Distinction, thanks for asking.

If anyone is interested in trivia, I could set up a little trivia competition if you like, just let me know in the comments or by email. Somehow I suspect that this will be met with deafening silence.

So as not to appear too one dimensional, I’ve decided to put my monumental geniousness to work for the good of humanity by opening a food importation business for the rich and famished. There are a couple of things I’m thinking of getting from Eastern Europe for a start.

Here we have a very tempting item from the bakery and something to wash it down with…



I’m sorry, but I just can’t stop myself! This one is really very tacky, but since we’re talking about food named after genitalia, why not go the other way as well?

Again, I really am sorry, but I’ll make it small so you only have to see it if you click on it…




42 Responses

  1. FIRST!!!!!!

    And I’ll take this opportunity to point out to everyone that THE POLLING BOOTH IS OPEN for the Dingo award. It’s right over there on the right, below the clock and the calendar. The other right. Do the right thing. Vote for the person who deserves it. You know who that is: Melissa.

  2. You know, Melissa, I’d completely forgotten about the 20 or so food posts that WT has done. Shall we call this 21? Except it’s really a hybrid post, a noxious hybrid of bragging and food. Help me.

  3. Mark – You too will be able to brag once you’ve secured the Dingo for your sidebar. And it looks like you’ve got a really good shot at it so far. Oh btw, what was your score?

  4. Uh…you’ve totally topped the dragon photos. And those featured a Prince Albert, for goodness’ sakes.


  5. I won’t be having any cheeseburgers with sesame seed buns in the near future.

    (seriously. Where do you find this stuff?)

  6. Put me off burgers for life!

    I like a good trivia quiz (as long as I know the answers)!

  7. I don’t know why you didn’t get 100% first time ’round?? I’m not revealing how dumb I am, HTF am I supposed to know how far it is from Seattle to . . .whereever? Can you find an Australian version? No second thoughts, these things are too depressing.

  8. Tiff – No, I’m pretty sure a Prince Albert wins the gross-out contest.

    TLG – You don’t have to have the sesame seeds, you could just have a standard furburger.

    Beccy – Burgers are ok, I that looks more like a Fillet-O-Fish to me.

    Caroline – Seattle to New York was one of the easy ones, it’s roughly the same as Perth to Sydney.

    If anyone is interested, I put a trivia quiz at the top of the right hand sidebar. You have to create an account, but it only takes a minute and it’s needed to keep track of the scores. There will be different questions every day.

  9. Ewwwww,the packaged stuff was pretty funny but that va-jayjay is pretty sick. I bet it will pop into everyone’s mind the next time someone says “eat me”. By the way, what is the Prince Albert thingy you are talking about?

  10. Okay, I didn’t have to click it to see it. And that scares me. But I laughed just the same. It’s so good to see a man with healthy self-esteem. I’ve gotten so tired of seeing the same self-deprecating crap everywhere I go on the internet. Willowtree, dear, you are a breath of fresh air. *grin* Ah, I couldn’t do it with a straight face. Sorry.

  11. Okay, I took your quiz. I’m pretty damn smart, except for the New Testament.

  12. Mark, how about we call it 21 food posts, 173 “I’m the Greatest Fucker Here!” posts.

    ATTENTION DINGOITES: Mark is clearly your best choice for the next Dingo Award. He’s funny, fabulous, and totally gay for Willowtree.

  13. I am happy with my 90.1%. I find it interesting that the quiz asked for my gender and ethnic origin. Were the questions easier because I am a female? Although I am outclassed here, I am interested in a trivia competition.

    I am in awe of someone who speaks of the Poisson Distribution. I thought that had to do with the amount of salmon in Lake Michigan compared to the number of alewives.

  14. LOL I’m glad I don’t eat burgers. You notice I’m ignoring the 100%. Now do I enter the trivia or will I show myself up even more!

  15. Patty P – I agree, and I didn’t even include it the first time, I only put it in after I initially posted. As for the PA, you probably should google it.

    Melissa – You’re not doing your case much good with that type of insulting comment. In fact I may just go and vote for you myself!

    Molly – I was a little taken aback that too, but there were some general knowledge questions that were gender specific, for example one of my questions was about the average height of men in America (which again proves that is was pretty much a croc). As for the Poisson Dist, yes that’s another interpretation, but only on the Canadian side of the lake.

    If you want to play trivia, just click the link at the top of the sidebar. There’s only ten questions and they are average to easy general knowledge. There will be a new quiz every day.

    ChrisB – Go on, give it a go, it’s good fun and the questions are fairly easy. If you think you might be embarrassed, use a nom de plume when you sign in.

  16. I just did it and dithered on the one I got wrong I should have gone with my first guess because that would have been correct -what an idiot, don’t answer that!

  17. And to think we were talking boobs yesterday! Ha! You’ve got it all covered!

  18. You know I have always thought you were the smartest blogger I know! 🙂 I would take the quiz but I don’t like being called an idiot too often. HA!

    Now, EWWWW! EEWWWW!! That is just gross! We can always count on you to gross us out! Thanks WT!

  19. Whatever else you may be, you’re certainly well rounded.

  20. Dammit. You’re right. I’m sorry. Mark, that should have read:

    He’s funny, fabulous, and Willowtree’s totally gay for him.

    My bad.

  21. did you write the questions? i ahd to give up. i’ve never seen “a bug’s life.”

  22. Oh. My. God. You make me laugh out loud on a pretty regular basis. A trivia competition sounds like SO much fun. Willow, if you haven’t been over to my blog, you’ve got to check out my nerd test. I had no idea I was quite so bad.

  23. Damn. You beat me. So I didn’t know who sang “Red, Red Wine”, according to your little quiz. It’s really Neil Diamond anyway. Yes it was. And he wrote it. In 1968.

    And I took 97 seconds because I couldn’t find the right answer. Damn.

  24. ah, even better….trivia questions with WRONG ANSWERS.

    neil diamond. what a head of hair.

  25. I think I’ll be having my burgers on toast in the future.

    I like Trivia and I play a daily trivia game. It’s fun even when I don’t know the answer. 🙂

  26. I’ll bite – I love trivia. of course, now that I have that damn alleged “genius” label, I’ll probably implode with anxiety and score less than zero…

  27. Look, I know I’ve been sick for awhile but truly I have no clue what you’re all talking about. Perhaps it’s because I’m only smarter than 70% of you.

  28. Laurie – No,I don’t write the questions, they’re automatically generated from a huge database.

    Kaycie – Looks like you got a different quiz to me (maybe the different time zone or something), because I didn’t get that question. I’m assuming they said it was UB40, although they actually sung Bob Marley’s version with the included rap verses. But you are right, it was written by Neil Diamond. You can point out errors, I’ve done so in the past.

    Jenny – That could be it, or it could just be that you’re completely clueless.

  29. I love beer. But I am not sure I’d feel so great about drinking that one.

  30. Thanks for the laughs. I really enjoyed the Dubya posts, We dont even live in Sydney anymore and the whole Apec thing was really pissing us off anyway. What a bloody waste of money! I can’t wait for the elections to come up.

  31. 1) For the record, I know everything there is to know about the “poison distribution”.

    2) For the first.time.EVAH I REALLY did snort when I saw your genitalia-named food groups! I sooo gotta clean my computah screen now (tyvm!).

    New people in the polling room? I’m headed there now and I see a s.a. S.D. with a bullseye on his forehead ;).

  32. Oh, my, everlovinword…he’s winnin’ (so far) in a landslide.

    I’m giggling.

    Out loud.

    (Mark, I still think you’re the cutest boy EVAH to wear a leisure/jumpsuit on the www).

    Hi Marnie!

  33. I’m embarrassed to say that I did click the picture and then I moved closer to the screen to better see just what was on that sandwich. I must have sat there looking at three inches from the screen for two minutes before I realized what it was and JUMPED backwards almost falling out of my chair. Poisson distribution indeed. Have it your way, have it your way…60 billion served daily. And now I’m thinking of a Monty Python sketch. Can you guess which?

  34. I got all the answers correct, but I am apparently only smarter than 98.94%. There must have been more people take the test and get all the answers correct between you and me. It’s probably all your doing, too.

  35. So now I’ve shown the post to Danny. He was trying to read the words written in Greek script on the beer can. And I’m not the only one who didn’t see it at first on that last picture. So there.

  36. Thanks for the votes, WT. You are probably right the Ann Coulter contestant will win.

    Your trivia contest was fun. I should have known the the Christians were tortured with “all of the above.” However, I thought maybe the rack and other devices were used later. Then, I must have lost points because I took to long to answer that question. Oh well, I look forward to another try tomorrow.

  37. Oh My GAWD! I think I am going to be sick….I just had a burger for dinner…

  38. I’ll take your trivia challenge – as long as it isn’t regionally-centric

  39. Karmyn – Ironically, the questions are often regional centric, but as its from the States it’s usually American regional.

  40. Can I get fries with that?

  41. I would get 100% but I’m plain mushy brain.

    We had our back yard in the “Pond and Garden” tour this weekend that raises money for hospice.
    DAMN it was hard work. All week long…. The hubby worked hard. Sis in law worked hard. Amanda came up and worked hard. I worked hard, too. As best I could. I hardly blogged. I got dirt under my fingernails. And then I couldn’t think straight when I took the test and only got 86%.

    That was one ugly double click on the food picture by the way: Crude-it-tay.

  42. OMG, you make me laugh out loud – and then share these sick and twisted things with my daughter, which is just so wrong on so many levels! Thanks for the giggle and congrats on the test score!

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