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Fun Monday #32

Fun_monday_2
This is just some housekeeping, it’s not a new post so you don’t have to read it! If it shows up in bloglines just mark it as read.

After an extended break to take in Labor Day (which we don’t have here), Fun Monday is back bigger and more charitable than ever. Nikki want us to tell the world what wonderful, generous people we are (lucky I had some extra time to do this one!).

Initially I was reluctant to join in because I was concerned that it could damage my reputation, but after I said I thought she was crazy, she sent me an email begging me to sign up (at that point there were only a couple of starters). She said, and I quote…"Ha! I knew you were going to say that! You don’t have to sign up if you
don’t want to. I won’t be offended. But you could do something like
offer an hour of your time to a local animal shelter, feed some
kangaroos, find some charity online and donate $10, pick up trash on
the side of the road…… The options really are endless. You can’t be
that cynical, can you?
"

You wanna bet? Well anyway, that got me to thinking, and my first thought was "Fuck picking up some other arsehole’s trash!", followed was almost immediately by "Ha ha ha! Feed some kangaroos, she’s got to be a yank!" and finally "No way do I give money to charity!  Nearly 60c out of every dollar goes on administration and 20c on the lowlife call centre people who invade my privacy at dinner time to solicit donations".

That just left the animal shelter option, so I trundled off to the local animal centre to check out the situation. What I found was one lousy animal (a dog). "Shit!" I thought, "I’ve got seven ungrateful fucking animals right here, all of them rescued either from animal shelters or from being dumped. Why don’t I just spend an hour with them?" So that’s what I did.

Ok, ok,  I know all you charitably inclined, nurturing type folks out there are saying "What a bastard! Can’t he do anything for someone else?" Well the truth is, I’m not real comfortable talking about my good deeds. Joking about how brilliant I am is ok, because it’s just that, a joke. But telling people what a good person I am, now that’s downright embarrassing.

But just so that you don’t feel ripped off here is a list of stuff I’ve done for my neighbours over the past month:

  • Went out in freezing cold rain and total darkness to restore the power to Neville and Lynette’s farm.
  • Rebuilt (got working) Therese and Daryl’s computer after a system crash
  • Set up their daughter Amy’s internet connection
  • Got Jo’s son’s computer working after he deleted some system files.
  • Set up Brett and Bernadette’s internet connection.
  • Made a poster for Brett to put up at the local rodeo for a horse he had for sale.
  • Cut a music CD for Dale the postman to play in his car while he’s delivering the mail.
  • Let Brett use my bore water for his bulls.
  • Helped Neville get the stuff he’s been storing in  my shed out and into the shed he just had built.

And a late one that I forgot all about, a couple of weeks ago I
gave an old lady who was in front of me at the checkout $10 so she
didn’t have to put something back. I guess the reason it didn’t spring
to mind immediately is because it wasn’t really all that charitable.
After watching her agonise for a few minutes over what to put back, I
only gave her the money so that she would get the fuck out of the way.

nd here are some bigger things…

Ok, that’s my Fun Monday post, I hope you enjoyed it, now why don’t you go and see what wonderful people the rest of the Fun Monday gang are.

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50 Responses

  1. Er . . its Sunday.

  2. Caroline – The date on the post is tomorrow (10th Sept) but I’m posting it now because I’ve got things to do tomorrow).

  3. Yeah, I noticed. So that’s official then. Its MONDAY.

    Bugger.

  4. Psst… WT. You could delete the above, before the others wake up. I won’t tell a soul. Start afresh t o m m o r r o w on Monday.

  5. It’s ok, my long-term readers are used to me screwing with the date stamps. The International Dateline causes a wormhole in the time/space continuum.

  6. Now this makes me wish I was one of your neighbours. You could teach me more about using my computer programmes!! Are you telling us you left a lonely dog at the shelter I’m sure you have room for just one more!!

  7. Peter, we all know that you are a good guy. In addition to the various good deeds that you have done in your life, you continue to entertain your reading public on a daily basis. That in itself brings some joy to the life of many. Furthermore, you offer helpful suggestions to those of us who are less gifted. I bowed out of this Fun Monday, but I look forward to reading about the goodness of others.

  8. I knew you were good guy after all.

  9. You always have a clever twist on everything. Keep up the good deeds!

  10. I’ve often found that those with the biggest growls also have the biggest hearts.

  11. Awww…I’ve got a nice warm feeling right in the pit of my stomach. Damn. Spilled my coffee.

  12. Willow, I think you’re just like my father — tough outer layer but a big, gooey, marshmallow on the inside. Yeah, Daddy denies it, too.

  13. You ‘ole softy. I’ve know this was a fact a long time ago…the personal e-mail with your condolences about Junior, A.L.W.A.Y.S. answering my questions about computers and blogging, and just being so prolific with your comments left all over our blogs. They’re always pertinent to the post and not just a general statement. See, I helped to blow your cover, you big ‘ole bearded teddy bear in a pirate hat and large panties, you.

  14. Awwww, you probably made that dog’s week! And I would just like to go on record in saying that I never begged you to do Fun Monday. My husband would agree, I never beg.

  15. WHAT? You don’t feed the kangaroos?

    I think just taking extra special care of all the B’s in your house is a pretty good GOOD DEED every day.

  16. I think you’re nicer than all my neighbors put together.

  17. P.S. Two things I just remembered: I love the quote on your masthead and that REALLY was the Swamp Drainer who commented about his 3-pointed head the other day. You should feel very special. He never comments anywhere except at Ree’s occasionally. Like the time he asked her how to brand my neck like they did the Mustangs. Oh, and a questions, did you see my answer to why there is an A on a Navy jet?

  18. And the middle story is exactly why I don’t go near water. I’d be the dumb moron who tried to climb on top of you while you’re trying to rescue me. I’m pretty sure you’d have to clobber me over the head and knock me out to save me. Or just leave me. Yep. I don’t go NEAR the water. Saves the embarrassment of everyone involved. Good Fun Monday though. I knew you had a soft underbelly on you!

  19. Damn! Sorry about the double comment. Apparently I should stay away from commenting too. I need coffee!

  20. Oh well, hello! You have been helping me out(in a way) with blogging! So that should count too:o)
    And only one dog at the pound?! Wow, ours over here are always full, and there is a waiting list for pets to be taken….it’s really sad, I hate helping out there because I want to take all of them home, but we are not allowed to have pets:o(

  21. LOL! That’s what I always resort to, too!

    …charity begins in the home…

  22. Awww, I knew you were a nice guy.

    That’s pretty lousy that the girls didn’t thank you and Sven for saving them.

    I have returned quite a few lost wallets and purses and one credit card. I never even checked to see how much money was in them. Someone once flagged me down while I was driving to tell me I’d left my wallet on my back bumper. I wasn’t drunk (I don’t drive drunk!), but it was close to Christmas and I was a very tired and harried shopper and would have been in serious shit if I’d lost my wallet. I never trusted checks until recently either.

  23. ChrisB – I could probably take in one more mouth to feed, but it would be tight.

    Molly – If I had something else to write about, I probably would have bowed out too.

    Brenda – That’s me alright, just one big heart surrounded by arms and legs.

    RC – Ha ha ha! You dork. No wait, should that be geek or maybe nerd.

    Kaycie – What, so now you’re calling me a mallomar?

    Nikk – What, you don’t beg? Now that’s a surprise! I bet if I got the right kibble you would.

    Swampy – Yes I knew it was Hans. And yes I saw your answer, thanks. But I still think they stole the plane from the army.

    Mommyca – Oh shit! I forgot about that, I’ll add it to the list. I’m in a rural area, so most dogs around here are working dogs (and therefore valuable to the owners), even the cats work to keep the mice down, if I was in a suburban area it would be different.

    Shades – Hey we all need money too!

    Jenni – Checks are ok, it’s the Armenians you need to watch out for.

  24. Speaking as a mom, “I’m so proud of you.”

    And what a nice neighbor you are. Not too surprising.

    I’ve always remembered the post about you and Sven saving the girls. Enjoyed reading it again.

    Never have I had the test of finding a lost wallet. I’d have to do what you did or it would bother me through eternity. If I ever lose mine I hope you find it.

  25. I’m fairly certain you scared the shit outta that dog. (hint: teeth)

    And OMG. I JUST realised some assknob nominated me for that absurd fluffy pink award.

    (don’t you dare stoop to jacking the votes WT – there is not one vote for me as of now. Coz I’m nice – really).

  26. Well it was Monday real early here anyway …
    Gee I always knew you were a good guy, WT, despite that last photo in yesterday’s post which seems to be burned onto my retinas and makes me feel ill at regular intervals. I could really use a cute pet pic right now.

  27. I’m sorry my stuff wasn’t up yet. When it is actually Monday here, I’ll think of something for you.

    We also use the yellow tartan, which is why there is more of it on my background. A fellow [redacted] out there? Wanna meet up at [redacted] sometime? Oh, and if you didn’t already guess our last name starts with an “L.”

  28. Kila – I think the most people would return stuff they found if they can identify the owner.

    TLG – Now you see, that’s just the sort of comment that got you nominated.

    NZ Melissa – You know you liked that photo!

    AFF – I took the names out, you have no idea how weird my readers are! Sure I’ll meet you at the ancestral castle, I wouldn’t mind seeing the old place again.

  29. good job saving those lives.
    but the important thing here is: i got a perfect score on your latest trivia quiz.

    [bows deeply]

    so what if i guessed on two of the answers.

  30. does this mean you want to tutor me for the next 8 weeks in my excell and access class? i wouldn’t mind a bit… it’d keep me on the deans list.

    as for the money? your a good guy

    and as for the swimming.. idiots they were. but i’ll say thank you;)

    see i knew you were a good guy:P

    you know i just realized i have been lurking/ reading your blog for a year now tee hee;)

  31. are you sure you didn’t bring that new puppy home?

    just asking

  32. Laurie – Guessing is perfectly acceptable.

    Wolfie – Happy Lurkiversary!!

  33. You are still my hero WT! Nice Post…you are a marshmallow after all!

  34. * I knew you had a good side, snide comment aside.
    * Fuckie, suckie, love you long time. Cheap-cheap.
    * I remember reading this story. I found a wallet once and looked the guy up in the phone book. He brought me a basket of wine, crackers and other goodies.

  35. I’m not much into tooting my own horn either. Appears there is a gentle soul under all those cuss words. 🙂

  36. Tag, you’re it.

  37. I remember the two latter stories.
    But, what a pleasant surprise to hear about the things you do on a daily basis. I don’t think you blog about your daily interaction often enough for us to know how many people you have in your immediate neighborhood
    You mentioned an old men’s home the other day. Was that in jest??

    You and the hubby would sure get along grand in the fixing computer world. He has so many people asking him for help.

  38. I don’t know many Australian people, but holy crap the give to charity thing sounded just like my fella. Quite frightening really.

    I probably should have read the links before I commented. Will go do so now.

  39. Awww..ffs, you’re sweet.

    And the old lady in the store? Made me laugh way too hard. Not at her, that’s terrible, but at the get the fuck out of the way.

  40. I loved the links and your stories…you have very lucky neighbors for sure…

  41. Okay…..so the CD you burned for the letter carrier?—Tell me, you had to have added the Elvis Presley song “Return to Sender” right? *wink*

    Happy Fun Monday…ya, ya, I know—you are just reading, “blah, blah, blah”!

  42. ((((HUGS))))

    Read my post, and you’ll know why.

    And you really aren’t the arsehole you portray yourself to be. Really.

  43. I knew you were a good guy under the nasty exterior you portray. When I was in Aus 20 years ago my pen friend and he husband and I were at the Melbourne cup. She found a wallet with $60 bucks in it. Her husband took the $60 and told her to throw it out. She replaced the $60 and turned it in and a couple weeks later received a bottle of expensive perfume from the owner and a note saying how pleased he was with her honesty and that everything was in his wallet. Her husband was not pleased when he found out. They divorced not long after I returned home. I have often felt responsible for the breakup for various reasons I won’t go into, but she did much better for herself the second time around.

    I don’t really like to think of the things I do as good deeds, when they are so simple for me to do.

  44. The secret is out…WT is a real softie at heart…actually I knew that already.

  45. “Ha ha ha! Feed some kangaroos, she’s got to be a yank!”

    Hey! That seemed like a good idea to me too. 😛

  46. Should we call you the “Grinch Who Stole Fun Monday?”

    Luckily, we all know you’re a softie at heart. Otherwise, we’d have to hunt you down and throttle you.

  47. You’re just a cream puff. Crusty on the outside and soft in the middle! Sorry, you don’t seem to be able to fool anyone.

  48. You are too funny!

  49. I was warned about you, and I am still confused… Are you really an ass, or just pretend to be? Todays post has me leaning to pretender!

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