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A Tragic Tale

Most of you would be aware of Darth Vader the Super villain, but I suspect that few of you have been interested enough to follow his sad decline into obscurity and his eventual reinventing of himself. It’s a gut-wrenching story but I feel it must be told, to honour this once proud bad guy.

Mr Vader had it all, armies of ruthless and obedient minions, a really cool Death Star, even two loyal and loving dogs…
Darth_vader_esb2

Dog1

Dig2

But even at the height of his powers, he showed a certain inability to get along with people, this ultimately led to him getting fired from the Dark Side. An unsuccessful bid to seize control from the Emperor was thwarted due the there not being any elections for the top job…
Vader_shut_up_bitch    Vote

Following his humiliating defeat, Darth tried a brief stint as a professional bowler, but that did little to resurrect his fortunes. Nor did his idea of using sea water for bottled water in restaurants, seems it was a little salty for most patrons tastes…
Caption226   Vaderwaterfilter7bj

It wasn’t long before his space cruiser was repossessed and he was forced revert back to his pre-archvillain mode of transport.  But without gainful employment, even the scooter was soon repo’d and he was reduced to public transport…
Darthscooter   Train

But he really hit the skids when he was arrested for soliciting schoolgirls. After being released from jail he descended even further into a life of Soup kitchens and dumpster diving…
Vaderphone2    Soupkitchen

How humiliating, this once all powerful bad guy forced to beg in an attempt to get back in the game…
Clonewarvet_2

But it was too late, there were two new guys on the block, and they meant business…
Potatohead  Mm1

It remains to be seen who will ultimately win the hearts of all the obedient minions out there, but my money is on Mr Potato Head as he is much more flexible than Yellow M&M, plus we have never seen Yellow work without Red so he’s an unknown quantity as a solo villain.

In any event, Darth has seen the writing on the wall and has chosen a completely new path, one that is somewhat surprising given how macho he once was, but hey, if he wants to be a male escort for lonely Storm Troopers, than that’s his business don’t you think?…
Pinkvader_2

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42 Responses

  1. WT, you chooose an amazing the variety of topics. Here, I thought that Darth went on to the Happy Hunting Grounds in the sky, but he is actually a bionic wonder in drag? Poor Darth.

    I like your new look.

  2. For someone who’s unmotivated to write…you sure are up to SOMETHING!

    GREAT new look!

    And this post? Hee lair e us :). It’s not everybody who can take a few random DV photos and weave a totally believable story out of it. I think you’re wrong about the last pic, though…I think that’s the Breast Cancer Awareness version (You should see all the pink in stores this week!).

  3. Very pretty site! The stripes look good on you.
    Who’s Darth Vader?

  4. Was the subway pic taken in Ree’s new shower? I’m sorry, sometimes strange connections are made when I read your posts back to back with hers. I just told her if she really covets the subway look, she has a few things to add, and it looks like Darth is looking for work…

    I wonder if this is all a result of him being teased in school and called “MasterVader”.

  5. Aww how in the world did you know I was posting about Darth Vader today? You just beat me to it.

    Love the post! The Hello Kitty Vader cracked me up!

    Love the new look, the stripes are so slimming.

  6. Ha! The pink brings out the color of his eye holes.

  7. I… Dude…

    Where the hell is mark when you need him? I don’t even know what this is.

  8. I am impressed! This post was amazing and hilarious!! And to think you were feeling dried up!

    That last photo is just WRONG!

  9. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH – Sacrilege

    Only the Japanese would turn my beloved Darth Vader into a pink Hello Kitty lezzy Vader. Let’s nuke ’em.

  10. Only you could come up with a ‘pastel’ Darth vader. This is hilarious and I actually half thought there might not be a post today! I’m glad I was wrong.

  11. oh yeah – the new pic is very nice.

  12. Thought I’d come and say Hi as I have been playing your quiz, I thought this was hysterial – off to read what else you have written now and of course play the quiz

  13. sorry meant “hysterical” that isn’t some new word were using here in Washington. Must remember to read before I press post!

  14. with the hello kitty emblem.. that HAS to be in Japan.

    cute cute cute post…. you must have eaten some beans too late last night — in order to dream this one up.

  15. I hadn’t read your comments until I posted mine.. and darn if Karmyn didn’t say what I was thinking.

    You know I catch up with her everywhere and I think… THATS WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY ha ha ha ha ha

  16. Love the new look. I don’t think you and I have the same definition of blogger’s blahs. This is hilarious.

  17. Still waiting for the email about wine. Just because you’re wearing that Hello Vader costume doesn’t mean you can neglect your readers.

  18. It’s pictures like this that make me afraid to leave my house sometimes. The Hello Kitty one alone is enough to cause PTSD.

    Love the new look, by the way. When in doubt – redecorate!

  19. in recent news, darth vader was found collaborating with versace in designing a new, more fashionable body suit. initially, dolce & gabana were hired for the position, but he found them to be too “dark” and immediately choked them with his dark force grip.

  20. “Willowtree, I am your father …”

  21. Wow, you really have hit rock bottom. Seriously, take a break…for all of us.

    ps RePete enjoyed it very much, ‘specially the pups.

  22. award at my place. oh come on, humor me…

  23. Molly – Why thank you.

    Robin – It comes and goes.

    Min – Thanks, it’s important that you remember to use vertical stripes.

    Jenni – Ahh, o.k.a.y…

    Julie – I didn’t know, but it’s a safe bet that someone, somewhere is posting about the Darthman!

    Brenda – Hmmm, very interesting.

    Melissa – This is a well thought out humorous post using pictures found on the Internet. There, was that so hard?

    Kaytabug – Not dried up, just de-motivated.

    Karmyn – Settle down, it’s just a phase he’s going through.

    ChrisB – Well, me and the guy wearing the suit of course.

    Karmyn redux – Thanks, you’re the first to notice.

    Alix – We dont put much stor in spellin round here.

    Pamela – Beans is used for output at the other end not the keyboard end.

    Kaycie – It wasn’t actually blogger’s blahs, it was life blahs.

    Melissa – Que?

    RC – I think that would more likely be agoraphobia than my posts.

    Raffi – You know what those rainbow people are like.

    MelissaNZ – OMG! I thought you were my mother!!

    Robinella – Thanks for the compliment, it means a lot.

    RC – I went to your place and didn’t see anything that looked like an award. Have you posted it yet?

  24. OH SWEET! You still get it and it only took 5 days! I bet I know what you are tweaking this time!!!

    I didn’t meant to call you a dried up old prune!

    “Be optimistic don’t you be a grumpy. When the road get’s bumpy just SMILE SMILE SMILE and be happy .”

  25. I like M$M’s… lol..

    I remember when the Dark Vadar guy was paid to come to one of the dog and pony shows in SF… They said, :So and So is coming.” I was like,”Who?” and that was 7-8 years ago..so I’m not surprised to see him lacking in popularity ranking. Death comes to all….

    Sorry I’ve been too busy packing and working on various projects to post here a lot . I say, post when you’ve a mind to. 🙂

    The beans looked great btw!

  26. next time I do your contest, I’ll be ready! ..lol.. no more coffee breaks! Thanks for the fun!

  27. Guess he’s seen the light.

    Fuzzy green meat. Funny!

  28. Brillient!

  29. Only you could so cleverly piece all of those photos together like that.

  30. your inspirations are truly yours.

    i love the dogs. boscoe and riley are now clamoring for similar suits.

  31. You forgot his other dog:

    http://anglophilefootballfanatic.blogspot.com/2007/09/heres-pics-i-promised-in-my-13.html

    Cause, she’s still the bitch living over here. The pink one is just WRONG on so many levels. A Hello Kitty storm trooper? Egads.

    Like the new header. I can’t wait to see your shoes tomorrow.

  32. Oh, I like the redecorating. Very nice.

    When his adversaries see Hello Kitty, they’ll simply fall down laughing. Or, be so shocked that he’ll have a moment to remove an arm or to.

  33. That’s an arm or two.

  34. A cautionary tale indeed. Poor Darth should have stuck with Glenlivet on the rocks. Have it on the best of authority that they spike Chateau Cardeborde with peculiar hormones.

  35. Dude you made me laugh so hard i snorted, i hate it when i do that specially when im laughing i sound even more like a dork….

    bad WT

    that was funny

  36. Poor Darth…he sure hit rock bottom HARD! But then again, he looks so pretty in pink…

  37. I can relate to Hello Kitty Darth.

  38. i haven’t been able to sleep since seeing your hello kitty darth suit… i think i’m scarred for life.

  39. I love this post so, so much.

  40. I’m with raffi. Darth hello kitty. *shudder* terrifying.

  41. How could you do this to poor Hello Kitty?? Oh the agony.

    😛

  42. Hail!

    What do you think about Apple Iogo? >:)

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