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Aspirational B@rbies

It seems that the good folks at M@ttel assume that everyone (by that I mean every young girl) wants to be a  doctor, or a company exec, or maybe even a zoo doctor

(WTF?). Or as the Dianne Carrol Barbie on the right indicates, a nurse (how sexist is that one?)

But what about those who are too poor, to dumb, or too lazy to achieve those lofty goals? Or those who will simply make the wrong choice in men? Well fear not, there is now a range of "Aspirational B@rbies" to suit all needs and all life choices.

First off what have Waitress B@rbie, but if the thought of being pleasant to everyone (including obnoxious, self important fucktards™) and remembering which orders go where, seems to hard, then there’s always McDon@lds B@rbie.

I mentioned earleir that there was a range of "Aspirational B@rbies" for those who plan on making completely wrong life choices, and here they are, the first one is for those who live in the city, and the second is for those who don’t…

Inner_city_2  Ghost_3

Ok, I appreciate that not all women will choose losers for partners, so for them there’s this one…


Stay tuned for even more ridonculous™ B@rbie posts.

NahBloPa post #2


50 Responses

  1. OK Folks, WT obviously isn’t going to do this so I will take over.


    Place your Nominations in the Comments below.

    It will run until Sunday (thats in the US) and on Monday the voting will begin. Nominate whoever you like including yourself, and we will vote, and give out the Dingo, with or without WT. He was so proud of his prestigious I’m surprised that I have to take over and do the job of giving it out for him.

    I will begin the nominations with: Melissa (the waking up one)

  2. Did I forget to mention that I was First? Yeah, that’s right – I was.

    Nominating Melissa (again) for the Dingo

  3. Thanks Mark, yes I thought it was a pretty good post too, I put quite a bit of effort into it. Melissa, this is the guy you side with against me.

  4. Oh, I vote for Melissa.

  5. Hold your horses. Voting will begin next week. Just nominations until Sunday.

  6. Oh I get it…I nominate Melissa.

  7. Let’s really make this one of those circle whatevers. I nominate Mark. He of the first above.

  8. Hi! I nominate WILLOWTREE, which is not against the rules, because there are no rules, and even if there were, you’re not the boss of me. Also, Mark is giving away the Dingo this time, not you.

    And now I must go, because Grey’s Anatomy is on!

    But first, this special announcement:


  9. Did anybody read the fucking post? Melissa, don’t make me hit the ‘commented moderation’ button!

  10. Man…you sure play with a lot of different Barbies™

    I don’t know Mellisa but I am sure she is a fine person so I say let her have the Dingo Award.

  11. I second the nomination for YOU!! Your posts have me rolling on the floor laughing most of the time. I really, really like the Redneck Barbie and the I.C. Barbie…perhaps you should petition Mattel to “do” them! Wait, didn’t I just see them on My Name is Earl?? Oh, and Melissa…Christina and Callie are living together??

  12. 1. Ok, like, what is up with Alex and Meredith’s sister? Why does she strike me as someone who is masquerading as an adult, but is really 14, and there will be a new statutory rape twist to the plot.

    2. George’s hair was much less a helmet this evening, and for that I am thankful.

    3. I’ve actually forgotten to shave the other leg.

    4. Can we talk about feelings now?

  13. Dear willowtree. Divorced Barbie doesn’t sound to different to here, really. Except for the divorce bit, that is. Anyhoo I thought Barbie dumped Ken and was going out with some Aussie now?

  14. I’m getting lost in the sea of comments but then I must be one of the dumb ‘barbie’s’~ I know you don’t want it but I was forced to give you an award!

  15. Very creative Willowtree. You got to play with lots of different Barbies as a middle-ageing blogger. If someone had told you twenty years ago that you’d be playing barbie dressups on a blog, as host to countless women . . .


  16. The first part of my comment was sincere (BTW) but for some reason it was all down hill from there into facaetiousnes (and either I can’t spell that or some other largish country that shall remains nameless can’t).

  17. Okay I am voting for Melissa, just because she is a girl. No offense Mark. But its all about the girl power. Girls Rule!

  18. Sirdar – Mellisa may well be a fine person, but Melissa definitely is not. There’s plenty more b@rbies where they came from.

    Bermudabluez – Oh I get it, you’re all ganging up on me!

    Marnie – Ignoring.

    LMM – That would be Bruce.

    Caroline – Well, I use an Australian spellcheck dictionary and it reckons you’re wrong too. Even the Macquarie spells it without the ‘a’ (although I’m pretty sure it used to have one) but putting that aside, there seems to be an ‘s’ missing from the end anyway.

    Karisma – You do realise that winning the Dingo isn’t necessarily a good thing don’t you?

  19. What an aspirational post…aspirational meaning ambition to be a zoo doctor, redneck momma, or whatever. Or aspirational having to do with breathing dust into the lungs.

    Sigh, I had to miss Grey’s Anatomy. Marnie does have a point Meredith’s sister does look mighty young. Did old Alex ask out or screw Lexy in the episode?


  20. LOL

    Wow, you must have some hip stores in Oz, because we miss out on those Barbies here.

    I started out as the McDonald’s Barbie, serving McDLT’s in the late 80’s.

    You play with Barbies more than most females I know. You could have a booming career in marketing (though I wouldn’t want to be working for M@ttel these days, LOL).

  21. I used to frequent a “Barbie Blog”. I’ll have to see if I can dig up the addy and send it to you. Funny stuff, I don’t care who is posting it.

  22. There was an article about the new heart doctor (the one that replaced Dr. Burke) that she is now full time and might be batting for the other team. I didn’t get a chance to watch it last night. Someone fill me in.

    And I will always vote for Melissa.

  23. Ah ha! I see what the problem is. Some of you seem to have mistaken this blog for a Grey’s Anatomy chat-room. I think I can help out, what I think you should all do, is eat shit and die!

  24. I read the fucking post. Twice.

    Once last night and then once again this morning to convince myself I wasn’t hallucinating.

    Evidently I wasn’t. I’m a little worried about you frankly.

  25. I got an email similar to this post about a year ago. It had even more “Aspirational B@rbies”. (Why are we using that little at symbol here?) It had the inner city and redneck dolls you have here plus many more–all labeled with things such as North Wichita B@rbie (that was the inner-city one), South…, East…, West…(she was a frumpy homeschooling housewife), and then all of the suburbs of Wichita, too. It was pretty spot on. I wonder if I still have that somewhere.

    I was just thinking about that Barbie blog that Robinella mentioned. It was absofreakinglutely hilarious! Please, please, Robinella, if you find it send me the link. (Oh, and who was posting that?)

  26. I almost forgot. I’m sorry I can’t join in the Grey’s Anatomy chat. I don’t watch that show because “McDreamy” has always been “McCreepy” to me, even when he was a teen heart throb. I could discuss any one of the CSIs all day, though. We could talk about Horatio’s god complex or something.

  27. I admit, I had a crush on McDreamy when he was a teen heartthrob. But I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy. Why do I need to watch a show about pretty people’s problems? I have my own to deal with.

    And Willowtree, why do you let them bait you like this, honey? Really.

    Oh, and I live across the street from Red Neck Barbie. She does love those Marlboro reds. (Just to prove I read the fucking post)

  28. Sirdar, I am a great person. Don’t listen to him, he’s a grown man who plays with Barbies, for chrissake.

    bermudabluez, Callie is living with Christina. Christina won’t let Callie clean anything up, so the place is a wreck.

    Marnie, do you feel your feelings or do they just pass over you? Also, do you need a hug?

    mjd, at the very end of the episode, Alex and Lexie were going at it and Merideth heard them, came out of her room, and gave them a very dirty look.

    Kila, McDLT’s! Weren’t those the ones that had a cold side and a hot side, and then you put them together?

    Jenni in KS, I love Horatio, despite his god complex. Have you noticed he doesn’t look anybody in the eye except suspects? That would weird me out.

    Best part of the episode, everyone? I liked when the guy having open heart surgery with no anesthesia started freaking out, so Izzie had him figure out which bird everyone in the gallery would be. I was also charmed by Christina miming the surgery from the gallery.

    Confidential to WT: I read your fucking post, but I stopped playing with Barbies twenty fucking years ago.

  29. Oh, bloody hell, fucktard is trademarked???!!!

  30. Willow, your commenters kinda scare me.

    And I know that redneck Barbie. Several times over. I do live in Oklahoma, ya know.

  31. ps: I nominate Marnie.

  32. I received the same email about the Wichita Barbie’s.I’ll see if I still have it.
    Please please tell me that the entire month here will NOT be devoted to those dolls. Please?

    I need to start watching Grey’s on the night it airs now so I can participate in the discussion and stop being afraid to read comments for fear of reading a spoiler.

  33. Hahahaha, excellent life choices.

  34. No more Barbies. She is almost as scary as clowns. Almost. Not much is scarier than a clown.

  35. Love the barbies, show us more!

  36. “Willow, your commenters kinda scare me.”

    It looks like our work here is done.

    “Oh, bloody hell, fucktard is trademarked???!!!”

    Please make royalty cheques payable to Marnie. Thx.

    “ps: I nominate Marnie.”

    Only if the award doesn’t reference masterbation and/or dildo’s.

  37. OMG…Grey’s Anatomy chat! IN!!

    (BTW, WT – where is Crack Ho Barbie? I miss her, and need my fix.)

    And aren’t we all glad that Dr. Hahn escaped from that horrible well that Jame Gumb was keeping her in? And all that lotion has made her skin FLAWLESS! She has emerged from that well a FIGHTER, and is ready to kick cardio BUTT!

    I nominate Melissa AND Marnie.

  38. omg Tiff, I am so glad she got out of that well. And to think! Just two weeks ago she had a shitty job as a mammography tech/crazy ex-wife on Weeds! She’s moved up!

    Marnie, please answer the question re: hugs. Also, let’s talk about our emotions.

  39. A one hour episode of Grey’s and this is all the catching up I get when I come over here? I know more will follow though and soon you will have nothing but Grey followers over here. And darn. Too busy reading comments and I didn’t get a chance to read YOUR post. And now there’s no time. I’m sure it was good though.

  40. I feel like I missing out just because I don’t have time to read all of your comments….I’ll start earlier tomorrow.

  41. aww you put the red neck barbie up just for me didn’t you?

  42. Melissa – I totally dig Weeds, too…she has definitely moved up! But did you see Nikki’s comment? Possibly that is why Hahn showed up to Gentleman’s Night?

    There was definitely another good part where McDreamy and Sloan were pondering Hahn’s comment about them as a couple…and they discussed this as they were WALKING AWAY from the camera – what a couple of nice assets those men have.

    Remember that Christina was a MAJOR slob before she moved in with Burke – or while she pretended to have fully moved in with Burke.

  43. “We girls can do anything, right Barbie?”

  44. Tiff – OOH. I wonder who she’ll hook up with. I saw the preview in my guide for next week – it said Mark is interested in another surgeon – do you think it’s her? Will she turn him down…because she’s hot for…Merideth? Callie? Dr. Bailey? Will she chase Addison to LA?

    Mmm. McAssets.

    Christina was a major slob – I think she won’t let Callie clean up because she doesn’t want any Burke reminders.

    I loved how they kept calling Hahn “The New Burke”. Ha!

  45. I’m thinking she’s going to go for Callie. Most definitely. Heck, the way she was talking to Webber, she has balls!

    And would you do Alex, if you know it was all about the sex? I think I’d make Lexie’s choice – don’t you?

    Trademark McAssets…and then TEACH ME how to do that in comments!

  46. McAssets™!

    I only know how to do it on a mac: option 2. MARNIE! Don’t you know how to do that on a pc?

    You can always copy and paste my ™.

    Would I do alex…he seems kind of short to me. Is that weird? I have to go back and look at his teeth. A lot is dependent on his teeth. I’d probably make Lexie’s choice though – imagine the stress that poor intern is under.

  47. I think Alex’s mouth is kinda odd – not formed well enough. And his face is to wide for is eyes…I dunno. He’s cute, but not cute like Mark. Mark is freakin’ fine, but he’s a screw you and leave you type, ONLY.

    I’m into the teeth, too – no dentures.

    Trying my best:
    Melissa, Grey’s Chatroom Moderator™

  48. I think Alex’s mouth is kinda odd – not formed well enough. And his face is too wide for is eyes…I dunno. He’s cute, but not cute like Mark. Mark is freakin’ fine, but he’s a screw you and leave you type, ONLY.

    I’m into the teeth, too – no dentures.

    Trying my best:
    Melissa, Grey’s Chatroom Moderator™

  49. Hurrah! Tiggerlane wins the Inaugural Trademark Symbol Award™!

    Yeah, Alex has very close set eyes. Maybe that’s it. He sort of resembles a platypus. Hey, as long as he’s not a penguin – we’re fine.

  50. Now I’ve got to the end of the comments I’ve forgotten what your post was about!

    Oh yes, Barbie’s….love them.

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