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Fun Monday #44

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I’d like thank Robinella (no, I’d really like to thank Robinella) for coming up with such a low fuss assignment for this week’s Fun Monday.  It’s so low maintenance that this is one of the rare occasions that I’m actually doing a cut (well, technically it’s a copy) and paste of the instructions.

"In honour of exhaustion, colour and self-love, I present you with this week’s assignment. I want you to dig through your blog files and show us your best effort. Why you consider it your best is up
to you. C’mon, you know you have a favourite – show it to me one more time." (sorry, I just had to add those ‘u’s, I can’t help myself).

Because I got off so lightly, I’ve actually reproduced it right here so that you don’t have to follow a link to it (I’m considerate that way, plus I turn comments off after three weeks anyway). The only changes I’ve made to the original post were to fix a couple of spelling errors and to include a couple of links for the sake of detail everything else is just as bad as it was back in July 2006. In a sign of the times, it looks like the book shop /cafe has disappeared and has been replaced by an online store.

For those of you who have already read this post, or if you just don’t have time, or if you’re just sick of reading after last month (and we all know what I’m talking about) here’s a little something that I’ve "bean" working on that’s in keeping with today’s story. My new turbo boosted bike.

OK, that should be enough words to make this post look respectable (the original was shorter than I remembered), here is my effort….

This may be a long post so if you’re like me and have a short attention span, maybe one of the posts with pictures would be a better option.

Although I’ve only been reading blogs for a short time, less than a month in fact, one thing I have noticed is that people love an embarrassing story (I think its called schadenfruede). While this is nowhere near as embarrassing as some that I’ve read (if you’re reading this Ree**, yes I’m talking about you and the wig fiasco), it does make me laugh when I think about it.

A long time ago in a land far away there was a young married couple (that would be me and My Darling Wife, living in San Jose). One day they decided to go to the mall, not any mall but an upmarket one called
the Pruneyard, in Campbell CA. This mall wasn’t frequented by those who thought Kmart was a really splendid way to spend the day, but rather by those who could read. I make this distinction because there was a
combination bookstore/coffee shop called The Upstart Crow where the cool people hung out reading books, indulging in conversation and drinking java. The coolest of the cool hung out in the outdoor garden area at the back of the store.

We had been out to lunch earlier in the day (Mexican, I mean this is SJ) and thought it would be good to get some ‘mallersize’, i.e. go for a walk around the mall. After an hour or so of window shopping, ice-creams and cokes we decided it was time to head back home.

All along the outside wall at the back of the mall was a hedge about 6 ft tall (all, wall, mall, tall, maybe this should be a poem). Back to the hedge, which we were walking alongside on the way to our car. At this point I felt the effects of both the beans and the coke-cola, both wanted to cast off some gas but in different directions.

Now you have to realise that we had only been married a couple of years and I was still trying to come up with ways to impress MDW, and thought "hey what better way to show her that I’m a real man then to
burp and fart at the same time". So I decided to really exert some pressure and get some decent resonance happening, after all, we were out in the carpark and there was no-one around.

So, bracing myself I let fly. Talk about resonance! I got so much pressure in each direction that my butt cheeks were rippling and my chest was rattling. Boy was I proud of that effort! That is, of course, until the echoes died down and right at that exact moment I found myself at a break in the hedge, which unfortunately turned out not to be simply a break in the hedge but, in fact the back entrance to the Upstart Crow. Or in other words, I found myself looking directly at about 35 stunned pairs of eyes staring directly back at me from the outdoor seating area for the cafe.

** There used to be a link there, but I took it out because it was to Ree’s old Blogger blog.

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50 Responses

  1. That is just too friggin’ funny! and the turbo bike? OW!

  2. I laughed so much at the turbo boosted bike (I must make sure my grandson sees that! on second thoughts Beccy might not be too pleased) and I’m still laughing at the thought of ’35 stunned pair of eyes’!?

  3. OH…how you make me laugh…I think you are related to my husband….Wait a minute..you said you used to live in San Jose and since we live in No. Calif., I think you are related to my husband!!

  4. I blinged you on my blog…

    🙂

  5. What a treasure of a story! I’m only back at work today from holidays. This has at least broken the solemn mood that had surrounded my cell. I mean cubicle.

  6. you are so gross and this did make me laugh.

    but you left out a crucial detail: did it impress YDW the way you had hoped?

    and no wonder that cafe closed….

  7. The Upstart Crow!! It was prophetic.

  8. I’m glad you recycled. I hadn’t read that one. I’m taking your advice (gasp). I had originally written two posts but thought it’d be confusing, but now I’m confused and it’s back to two. That way the link on the left will take ’em straight to “the list”. Thanks.

  9. LOL! (I’d missed this one the first time around.) I wonder how many of those “coolest of the cool” could do THAT!

  10. Well, oh, dear. You sure showed those hoity toity intellectuals, didn’t you? California Mexican? UGH. Not the same.

  11. Very impressive and very funny! Did you run away or did you take a bow?

  12. I had actually forgotten this story. If DEFINITELY asserts your masculinity!

    I keep wondering if it was going to involve a “shart.”

  13. AFF – It may not be the same as TexMex, but it is the same a Baja Mex.

  14. Those poor folks just enjoying a steaming cup of joe, startled by your steaming farts.

  15. There’s more room outside than there is in and you found a memorable way of releasing the pressure. What a hoot…

  16. How did I miss this story before? Too funny! That is an embarrassing story for the record books!

  17. nicely done! i’m impressed with your talents!

  18. Sounds like something my husband would do. To gross me out, not to impress me.

  19. Multi tasking at the highest level WT.

  20. I’m with Tiggerlane, I was hoping it would involve a shart. I’m gross that way.

  21. Well, I’m sure she just wanted to do you right there after that – right? What woman could resist that??

  22. Seriously? Freaking hilarious.

  23. That was funny!!! Sometimes when you try to impress…it seems to backfire. That is life I guess…

  24. Adds a ‘wholenother’ meaning to the old saying:
    “He walks (rides) like he has a corncob stuck up his butt.”
    Not sure how I missed this post.

  25. I thought I’d read all the funnies here but I definitely missed one … hilarious!! Serves you right!
    Lucky you did it AFTER the wedding … anytime before and she may not have said “yes”.

    I’d like to hear the story of how you proposed to YDW, I bet it’s comical!

  26. Dear willowtree. Whew. I was reading that story (which I think I’ve read before, but couldn’t remember the ending) and just hoping that you weren’t going to say that you go a bit extra for your efforts, so to speak.

  27. Ah…yes…I remember it well. Seems like a whole lot of people were telling stories of “out the attic/basement” around the same time…. Y’all were new to me then and I thought you were all insane.

    Nothin’ much has changed ;).

    Oooo, and btw, I thought we were supposed to choose our favorite post of 2007! Good gracious, if I had to choose from two years of blogging?

    …my brain just short-circuited thinking about it!

  28. Hehehe, that’s something which could happen to me too, I am a specialist to put myself into strange situations !

    To dig out an old post is more work for me then to write a new one, so you have the choice or you read my 487 posts and choose one you like the best, or you read the new one of today, lol !

  29. See now you’re a gentlemen, yes I said a gentlemen, because if it would have been me and my husband walking and that happened…he surely would have made a face and pointed the people towards ME. And now I have to go check out typepad because I didn’t know you could turn off comments on posts. I’d love to do that.

  30. OMG! I am having a shitty day. I tried to comment before and could not get through I actually went and wrote a post regarding my shitty day and then lo and behold it let me in. Im coming back tomorrow to read your post again. My mind is too boggled at the moment. The only thing I took in was the Fart sentence.

  31. This was a good recycle post. I remember this story too. I laughed again, just like I laughed last time.

  32. That was too funny! Thanks for the morning laugh.

  33. Impressive to say the least. Did you take a bow?

  34. There is NOTHING like a good fart story! Have you linked to this within the past 7 months? I swear I have read it before…maybe in the “background checks” I do! This is a classic!

  35. I’m back:
    As you already know, my cousin and his wife have just started a new blog. He’s going to need all the support he can get from the MaleBlogWorld, so be sure to visit them as often as you can at:
    http://nekkedlizardadventures.typepad.com
    Postings of Oxymorons
    Thanks.

  36. It’s kind of like when I was a kid and used to fart during sit ups in gym class.

  37. I laughed and laughed. Thanks for starting my day right.

    p.s. Has YDW stopped laughing yet?

  38. Bwahahahaha!

    *ahem*

    It could have been worse. You could have accidentally pooped.

  39. Sounds like if you had that bike when you did that you would have visited America whether you wanted to or not.

  40. wow, it would be really hard to top that performance!

  41. Someone mentioned in my comments that Dinoboy would probably grow up just like you. As his behaviour is sounding very similar. It would not surprise me at all as YOU are sounding more and more like my dad! Now he would definitely have taken a bow and smiled too.

  42. Please tell us the rest of the story. Did MDW run the other way? Did she slap you? Did you run the other way? Did someone finally start laughing to ease the tension? Inquiring minds want to know!

  43. That is very funny. I must say, I would not be really impressed if Sirdar did that, but YDW may be a better woman than I am. I do like to laugh at the stories however.

  44. Hahahahaha, that had to be an awesome display!

  45. Oh yes, that is the way to woo a pretty, young wife.

  46. Hee hee hee.
    I bet your wife was soooo proud.
    Mr B often walks down the road to the beat of his own tune…
    We know it’s best not to walk behind him.
    I hope you bowed afterwards, or did you do what Mr B does and say, “Blimey love, what have you been eating?”

    Oh the joys of married life. And I feel so sorry or you on the spiders thing. At least in the UK we know none of them can kill us.

  47. Was that the moment your new(ish) wife proclaimed, “In the name of (insert deity of your choice here) This savage is a MAN!!!”

    Just wondering.

  48. ahh thank you for the giggles;)

  49. that was f-ing funny too…

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