Another in the "Close Shaves" series.
This one isn’t so much a ‘close shave’ but more of a "you fucking retards!" story. It’s also one that Marnie asked for well over a year ago (don’t bother clicking the link, she hasn’t been around for ages). So Marnie, if you’re out there I hope you enjoy this…
Many years ago, when ET, VP and I still lived near each other, we used to do adventurous things together all the time (when we weren’t so out of it that we couldn’t do anything). On this occasion VP thought it would be a good idea to go moonlight sailing on Los Banos. This would have been a good idea if it wasn’t for two things, alcohol and drugs.
VP was an experienced sailor, ET and I weren’t but that did mean anything. I think this whole episode may have been to celebrate someone’s birthday (it may have even been mine), but the details are a little foggy (I’ll have to ask MDW). However, I remember enough to give a general recounting of the debacle.
In anticipation of a splendid evening sans femmes, we packed booze, food and weed, hitched up the trailer of the Hobie Cat
(that’s not the one in the story, but it’s the same model) and headed out to the lake. It was about a 45 minute drive and by the time we got there both Et and I were, as the hippies used to say, ‘wasted’. Luckily VP still had his wits about him and he got the Cat rigged in no time at all and before we knew it we were skimming across the lake.
Boy did we have us some fun, VP kept pulling out all kinds of tasty treats from his backpack (his wife is one of the best cooks I’ve ever met. Gail, I know you read this so "you’re welcome"), ET kept pulling out his bottle of Bourbon (and beer chasers), and I kept rolling doobies. Hey, speaking of Doobies, did you know that Blackwater by the legendary Doobie Bros has a three part harmony at the end of it that was specifically written for three drunk, stoned guys on a Hobie Cat? Or at least it seem to us that it was three part harmonies written for drunks (on account of there being three of us, and you know the rest). We sung it for hours (both VP and ET have pretty good voices), in fact if it wasn’t for the all the guys out fishing that night, yelling at us to ‘shut the fuck up’, I think we may have been able to sing it until the sun came up (if we didn’t pass out, that is). If I can find a clip I’ll include it for those who are unfamiliar with it.
Since the pricks fishing had no sense of humour, we decided to call it a night and got into our sleeping bags while VP tied off the mainsheet (that’s the rope that controls the angle and tension of the sail). It’ s important to note two things here; 1) it is sheer lunacy to get into a sleeping bag and drift off into a drunken slumber when you are on the trampoline of a catamaran, and 2) it is absolute lunacy to get into a sleeping bag and drift off into a drunken slumber when you are on the trampoline of a catamaran in the middle of the night when no-one is at the helm. If you have any understanding of sailing you will know what I’m talking about (I’ve since owned several sailing boats).
This is getting a tad long, and there’s a bit more to go, so I’ll finish it tomorrow or the day after (I like to keep my posts short, I also tend to read posts on other blogs that are of the shorter variety [hint]).
OK, I found a clip (two actually), this one features the original track off the album (‘What were once vices are now habits‘, rather apt don’t you think?). There are some interesting images in this clip that relate to the song lyrics, plus it features a full moon as did the night we went sailing…
For those who prefer to see the the band perform (which I normally do) here’s a link to them playing the same song in one of their farewell concerts.The Doobie Brothers’ Black Water. Ironically, while this song is about the Mississippi River, the band itself is from San Jose, where this story takes place. Go figure!
Oh, if you’d like to try it yourself, here are the lyrics for the harmonies.
I’d like to hear some funky dixieland
Pretty mama come and take me by the hand
By the hand, take me by the hand pretty mama
Come and dance with your daddy all night long
I want to honky tonk, honky tonk, honky tonk
With you all night long
Filed under: Close shaves. |