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Oh you!

There’s a couple of things you need to know about Buddy (or not), a) he’s butt ugly, b) he’s butt obsessed. That is until recently. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still butt ugly (although if you like pugs he’s not so bad), but lately he’s not as overwhelmingly butt obsessed has he has been for the past six years or so.

For ages now, Buddy has had a substance abuse problem, he has had an insatiable appetite for crack,  butt crack that is, and Bentley has always been his main supplier. But(one ‘t’) recently, Buddy Buttlicker has expanded his horizons, no longer does he fancy a faecal feast, salivate over a shit sandwich, crave a crunchy crap cake, tend towards a turd taco or beg for a butt burger. No sir! things have changed recently, no longer does he relish the rectum, adore the anus or sup on the sphincter.

You see, Buddy has recently discovered the vagina, and apparently he finds it much more to his liking. As a consequence he’s abandoned the anus, rejected the rectum and sacked the sphincter in favour of Belle’s equipment. You could almost say that he’s fond of puppy pussy.

It also turns out that Belle, like Bentley, is somewhat of an enabler. She will often just walk up and straddle Buddy placing her clam right in front of his face. I took this picture this morning to illustrate…
Buddy_licker_003
Those lines in the picture are vertical blinds if you’re wondering.

So there you have it. In a nutshell, Buddy has replaced the poop chute with the pup chute, which basically means he’s swapped ‘o’ for ‘u’. So now what I want you all to do, is go back to the post title and give a collective "Ah ha! That WT is such a clever fellow!!"   (if you don’t understand, just ask in the comments; someone will explain it to you)

Oh just one more thing in case you don’t already know…all my pets have been de-sexed, including the cats, that’s responsible pet ownership.

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38 Responses

  1. Creeper. And of your own dogs even. I knew you were still a connoisseur of puppy porn. This will make a fine addition to your already vast collection.

  2. Did I forget to say FIRST?!

  3. EWWW! Your alliterative whatsits … ack … though very funny too … I do concede that you are a very clever lad indeed. I can’t wait to read the comments when the wittier folk get here!

  4. I don’t supposed dogs can be trained out of this porny behavior. How difficult for you.

  5. Nina – I normally give them a hard time if i catch them. But it’s not really difficult for me, as long as they leave me out of it!

  6. WT you kill me! Now if only I could have had these two down here this weekend to show by little Bella how it was done! She, I can assure you was having none of it! Her little boyfriend stayed over for two nights and no matter how handsome the little devil was she bit him every time he tried. I do not think I will be a grand mama any time soon.

  7. Thank god you don’t own a horse!

  8. What Melissa said.

    *snicker* *gag* but *snicker*

  9. Only you could blog about puppy porn and get away with it!

  10. not de-sexed, exactly, WT. obviously.

    just rendered infertile.

  11. you should totally submit that to Penthouse Forum!

  12. Um, ew. You need a warning “Not for people with the stomach flu” You did get EVERY word for poop in there, right? Good morning WT.

  13. And… actually you swapped “oo” for “u” unless you meant poup, or puop. I’m just saying…

  14. 1. That was a rough read for early in the morning (or, I suspect, any time).
    2. I don’t want my breakfast any more.
    3. At least Buddy isn’t as ugly as that dog on Spin City.
    4. The title means you are an OU fan?

  15. 1) You are vile.

    2) And, oh, you are so clever indeed.

    3) I don’t think Buddy is butt ugly, I think he’s stinkin’ cute.

    4) You’re really gunning for the most disgusting searches ever on the interweb, aren’t you?

    5) At least there was no photoshopping involved on this pic; I’m kinda scared to know what you might’ve come up with!

  16. You should work for our local radio station writing their songs. They have one which lists every name for the penis and one for the vagina, BUT not one for the BUTT connoisseur. That’s rich.

  17. “sup on the sphincter”…lol. You are truly a sick and twisted individual – must be why I like you so.

    Thanks, WT. You make my life look so friggin’ normal.

  18. Boy, you sure are a clever fellow! (hey, you said I was supposed to say that).

    I have a feeling you could’ve continued with the “alliterative whatsits” for a while there. Funny. Very fuuny.

    And dear god, why must dogs be such sluts?

  19. You should change his name from Butty to Booty.

  20. Gee, I wonder what you could have come up with if you weren’t afraid of offending people.

  21. I can’t even imagine the searches you are going to get on this one.

    You are the Master! Is your last name Bates?

  22. And you just peer through the blinds while all of it is going down…uhm, I mean, happening.

  23. o u r witty, wt.

  24. I took Rover for a walk after reading this post this morning. And allllllll I could smell while walking him was BUTT. Pig butt, dog butt, chicken butt. Must be a side affect of living near so many farms.

    But still…..I’m blaming your post for the automatic assumption that all smells were rendered from some kinda butt on my walk.

  25. I think “crunchy crap cake” was one of my favorites. I was laughing at all of your creative whatsits! You had me rollin’! I love your sense of humor and your clever mind!!

  26. I got nothing.

    hahahahaha

  27. Sick and twisted…maybe….but HILARIOUS! You kill me WT!!

  28. Okay, maybe now I get it “from poop to pup.” My probelm is not reading carefully in the first place. You actually gave the answer in the post,”Buddy has replaced the poop chute with the pup chute.” I was thinking of a few other words with U’s.

    I almost forgot to say. “Ah ha! That WT is such a clever fellow!!”

  29. Laurie – No, they still produce plenty of fertilizer.

    Jennifer – I only read Hustler, and it’s way to tame for them.

    Jenni – Actually, I’m more of an FU fan.

    Robin – Vile? That’s a bit vitriolic.

    Robinella – Hmmm, a butt specialist, maybe there’s an opening.

    Sandy – You’re welcome. It’s the least I can do.

    Lene – the anwser is simple, dogs are sluts because they haven’t figured out how to charge for it yet.

    Pamela – From Butty??

    RC – You really don’t want to know.

    Beckie – My last name used to be Bates, but that was a bit embarrassing so I changed it to handjob.

    Claudia – No, I don’t just peer through the blinds! Please refer to the previous response.

    enidd – ewe two.

    TLG – Maybe your backbone is abnormally short, which would put your nose too close to your butt. That would explain the constant smell.

    Kaytabug – As a matter of fact, I think Melissa used to make crapcakes, but she’s gone now, and never reads my blog anyway, so I’ll take all the credit.

    Karmyn – Me either, that’s why I did the post!

    Bermuda – Or am I Hilariously sick and twisted?

    Kaycie – Come on, you’re not fooling anyone.

    Molly – Ah yeah, that’s it. I initially titled it Oh no, it’s you! which to me made more sense but seemed too deep for anyone else.

  30. Well it finally happened. I am officially left speechless. Oh be quiet.

  31. Oh, you!

    Dogs and the things they get into…

  32. Clever but gross.

    Is that brief enough?

    Buddy is not ugly!

  33. yeah, but you take pictures first. pet perv. 🙂

  34. Buddy is cute, even if he is an arse licker amongst erm, other things. SO funny.

  35. Well….I can fully understand Buddy’s preoccupation with the new ‘toy’ 🙂

    Obviously, Bentley doesn’t seem mind one bit. A match made in heaven!

  36. can you really blame her?

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