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There’s more than one dog here ya know!

As you would be aware, Belle has been monopolising my attention lately. This has not gone unnoticed by the other critters. They have been acting a little stranger than normal these past few days, and have been doing some weird shit in an attempt to get some attention. Eventually, after a long and concerted effort, Bentley finally got through to me!

I suddenly realised that I had been neglecting the other dogs since Bell flung herself in front of a car for the good of my blog (bless you Belle). I therefore decided it was high time I spent some ‘quality time’ with Bentley (screw Buddy, he’s just a runt anyway). But the more I though about it, the less appealing was the though of frolicking in the meadow with my canine companion. It was unappealing for two reasons a) it seemed like it would entail exercise (entail is such a good word to use when talking about dogs), and b) "frolicking in the meadow" seems pretty gay to me (not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, one of my best friends cough*mark*cough is gay, even though he tries to hide it by dating a Canadian).

I thought about it for a while, and like a splash of ear wash it came to me "Why not squirt some crap in his ears, that’s always good for a laugh". So that’s what I did, and boy was it fun…for me.

Now I should give you some background before you view the clips (yes there’s two, a ‘before’, and an ‘after’). When we first got Bentley from the pound he had really bad ear infections that took quite a bit of work to fix. This involved putting special ear cleaning fluid in his ears everyday for about a month. Toward the end he really started to hate it (actually he hated it from day one, but I rarely get a chance to say ‘toward the end’ any more). Even though he’s been good for a few years now, he still goes funny at the mere sight of the bottle, as you will see. This completely unedited, I want you to see that his reaction is caused by nothing more than the appearance of the evil ear wash bottle…

Geez I sound awful! I don’t sound anything near as bad as that in my head, but for your sake, my loyal readers, I have suffered this indignity in order to keep the clip accurate, I hope you appreciated it.

The reason I had to cut was I don’t have enough hands to film and squish crap into his ears at the same time, which is a shame really, because you missed him breaking free of my grip after the first ear followed by his mad dash for freedom which ended with him being unceremoniously dragged out from under my bed. I should tell you that some ear washes have alcohol in them, which can sting a little, the stuff I use costs twice as much as them, but has no alcohol or any other stinging substance, he’s just a big sook.

So now for the ‘after’…

The ‘after’ was a little on the tame side, plus I cut it short, it goes on for another five minutes or so (but who wants to watch that for five minutes?). He normally manages a few howls and some growls while he’s trying to rub the whole nasty experience out of his memory and onto the carpet (I think he was trying to be brave in front of Belle). That carpet surfing reminds me of when we got him from the pound, I must tell you about it one day.


35 Responses

  1. Poor little Bentley!! I feel so bad for him….he doesn’t even like the bottle….And the AFTER video…..I feel so sorry for him! Wouldn’t it have been more fun for him to play ball or go hiking??

  2. Their Master’s Voice!!~Bentley looked so dejected when he saw the bottle. Also sounds like you have another good story for us!

  3. Am I allowed to laugh? Ack, I’ll do it anyway. The before was so cute, he really does not like that bottle, and the carpet surfing was hilarious.
    He’s gorgeous.

  4. That should keep him from wanting your attention for a bit. Is this the one that doesn’t like gunshots? He is highly entertaining for having such a flaw. Next time, why not use floor cleaning solution? You’ll accomplish two tasks in one.

  5. I guess that’ll cure him from seeking your attention for a while, lol.

  6. Wow, the look on poor Bentley’s face. You abusive cad, you! *grin* We had a cat that would do the same carpet surfing thing, too, after having drops put in her ears. Of course, she was a bit more violent on the before side 😛

  7. Okay first of all, you don’t sound awful, you just sound like a dinkum aussie bloke, nothing wrong with that. (Had you broken into a rendition of Waltzing Matilda, now that may have been awful. Or not.)
    I thought this was hilarious, poor sod when he saw the bottle!! The carpet surfing is quite cool, actually … do they grass surf after having a bath too?

  8. That is EXACTLY the look on the faces of my children when I pulled out a bottle of medicine when they were little. It probably looked the same when I syringed it down their throat, too.

    The difference comes at the end. They didn’t roll around on the floor rubbing their ears. They’d just throw it back up (and then I’D roll around on the floor rubbing my ears).

  9. Jeanne – Well, obviously!!

    Chris – Yes, and just as well too, I can’t keep injuring Belle for much longer, folks are starting to suspect something.

    Jo – Go right ahead and laugh, I feed him so in return he must amuse us.

    Rudee – Yes he’s the one. That floor polish idea is worth trying, I usually just stick a broom handle up his butt so he can sweep the floors as he goes.

    TLG – At least until his next meal time.

    Jen – Well ain’t that just cats for ya!

    Melissa – That’s actually what the pound story is about!!

    Robin – One word…suppository.

    Oh, and Wendy from yesterday – Hi and welcome.
    There’s no reason to feel intimidated by the other commenters, but if you do, just do what they all do, write your comment without reading the post, it seems to give the comment that esoteric feel.

  10. These clips weren’t bad, but I think I’d like to see the one of the two of you frolicking in the meadow.

  11. Thank goodness it was ear wash and and not “Arse Warsh”…

  12. Where’s your Haiku?

  13. So your idea of quality time with him is washing his ears (which he hates) and amusing yourself by watching him carpet surf? Hmmmm. Why does he want your attention again?

  14. Oh those were GREAT! I loved hearing your voice!!!
    The before was so funny to see him go from happy to “oh shit” in 1.5 seconds.

    The after is hilarious!! I could have watched the entire 5 minutes of that laughing my arse off the entire time!!

    Now go frolic with him!

  15. Most hilarious thing EVER!!!! He totally tried to ignore you and pretend you weren’t there while slinking away. I love it.

    Zeus does the EXACT same thing when I pull the flea medicine out. (or the broom – which I have NEVER chased him with, but he is deathly afraid of).

  16. with The Contessa, all I have to do is let “hairball medicine” even cross my mind.
    Maybe my eyes shift to the cupboard or something, but by golly…she’s out of there.

  17. My dog does that “You can’t see me” routine when she sees the flea medicine. And she is a notorious grass surfer after her baths. OT: Isn’t this whole post, by definition, gay? I believe Mark can clarify.

    In more esoteric commenting terms: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy

  18. That first one reminds me of Mojo when I get out the earwash bottle (please note, she started acting like that after the SECOND DAY, she’s such a – what was it? Sook? Look at me speaking Australian!). I usually have to spring it on her – if she as much as sees it, she runs and can squirm out of a hold like she’s covered in grease. Much hilarity usually ensues (haven’t used that phrase in a while, either).

    The second video had me howling – I could easily have handled another 5 minutes. Fantastic way to start the day. Thanks for that.

    Also? It’s funny – I get so used to thinking I know the voices of the bloggers I read, but it’s the written one. Messed with my worldview a little to hear your physical voice, but it gave anotehr dimension to you.

  19. haha!! Bentley has the “you dirty rotten evil bastard-how could you?” look mastered!! hahahah as everyone has already said, poor bentley!! We used to have a dog that acted like him in pt. 2 after her bath!! She’d run-no, RACE back and forth on the carpet trying to get her dirt back. It was the best part!!

  20. I know I shouldn’t be but I’m sitting here laughing out loud at that first video. Until we got Mushu’s allergies in check he would constantly get ear infections and every single time I brought out the bottle he would do what poor Bentley did and slink away. He never rubbed like Bentley does on the carpet though which is hilarious. Also. Good to know about the alcohol in ear washes.

  21. You sound like you are from Australia – what’s wrong with that? I thought it was fun to finally hear your voice.

    The videos were hilarious – I probably shouldn’t admit that.

  22. Video and dial-up really don’t mix…I really must get wireless.
    Poor Bentley…he looks so pitiful in the first video. He looked so cute and happy, then “the change”. My dog gets that look when the nail trimmers come out. He’s a big baby about having his nails clipped.

  23. The accent makes you sound so much younger than you really are…and a LOT more gay.

  24. Cali does the same dance. It takes both of us to hold her still enough to put the drops in. We usually do it after she has been out so she has the leash on. Cheating, I know.

    Hey! That was Bonepony in the background!

  25. such a tail-tuck in that first video. poor guy.

    riley had an eye infection when he was a puppy, and we were supposed to put drops in his eyes several times a day.

    yeah, riiiiiiight. that worked reallllly well.

    fortunately, it cleared up on its own and he doesn’t appear to be blind.

  26. Gosh, you’re downright wordy today!

    I hadn’t pictured you as the type to avoid exercise, what with all your adventures in younger days. You don’t enjoy long walks with the dogs over the hills and through the meadows?

    Was fun to hear your voice–it’s not as low as the one I had picked out for you.

    Oh, regarding gays, did you hear about this: McDonald’s became a member of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). The company (McDonald’s) gave an undisclosed amount of money to the NGLCC in return for being recognized as a major promoter of the homosexual agenda. (I’m not going to make any hotdogs or buns statements.)

    Thanks for the entertainment, Bentley!

  27. He speaks! I loved those videos. My sister’s dog “washes” his face in the crevices of her sofas. Wow, that sounds strange to say crevices of her sofas. Anyway, I mean between her cushions. Hmmm. still sounds weird. Oh well.

  28. As for the voice…If I didn’t know that you were actually an american lesbian transplant, I’d say you sound australian.

  29. It’s your little cracks like “entail is such a good word to use when talking about dogs” that keep me coming back.

    If Bentley could speak in clip 1: 🙂 “We’re goin’ to the meadow, we’re going to the meadow, we’re … not on speaking terms.

    My computer has no sound device. I’ll just have to phone. But I imagine clip 1 sounded like: LoOoOoK WHAaAaAaT I HAaAaAaAaVE! bwaa ha ha (accompanied by violent shaking of the swishy bottle).

    Thanks for the welcome. I’ll try your advice on my next comment.

  30. I think your voice is wonderful and very sexy :-).
    I laughed out loud, sorry, I could not help myself.
    Hugs to all.

  31. Dear Bentley,

    Your daddy obviously has a cruel streak. I don’t. You are welcome to come to Texas and live with me anytime you please. You may have steak to eat, and I promise no one will squirt you in the ear for their own depraved amusement. And Bethany will hug you and squeeze you and call you… “MINE!!”

    Aunt Stephanie

  32. Bentley’s Haiku

    My ears should be mine
    My owner thinks he owns me
    Just wait. Soon he’ll sleep

  33. We have very strict animal abuse laws in the US. Perhaps they are not as harsh as in Australia?? Meanie!!

  34. cough*you totally stole the dog abuse idea from me*cough

  35. Ooooooo, Aussie accent….you can read me the phone book as far as I’m concerned!

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