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I fit right in here.

I've always been one to keep a low profile, blend in with my surroundings, go unnoticed in a crowd. The reason for this is twofold, a) I'm basically a shy person who dreads attention (despite some of the things I've done), and b) my father who was neurotic drilled into me from the day I could walk, that I should be like the Shadow.

So what I wear is a bit of a dilemma for me here in the country, I could wear the uniform* of Akubra hat, Dryzabone coat, and Moleskin pants and RM Williams boots (if you don't believe me, check this out), or I could wear what I've always worn:- baseball cap, shorts, t-shirt and thongs (the footwear you dirty perverts!). So while I'm physically comfortable with my fashion choices, mentally it's another matter when you stick out like dog's balls on a cat.

Apart from the uniform costing three times the GDP (GNP for the Yanks out there) of a small nation, I've always felt uncomfortable dressing up as something I'm not (except when I go out with my tranny friends, that's different), so I just stick to my citified clothes and live with the stares of amazement. This means that the people who don't know me think I'm some sort of freak because I wear bizarre clothes (and yes, where I live 'bizarre clothes' means anything that isn't part of the uniform), and the people who do know me think I'm a freak because I let the dogs inside the house (which is considered even more bizarre than wearing strange clothes).

So it's been a bit of a struggle to fit in here in banjo county, but imagine my excitement today when I saw this on my way into town (it was at the end of my property)…

road kill

At last I'll be able to cement my place in rural society by alerting the owner that one of his calves has been hit by a car, thus allowing him to check his fences. So I swung by his place and told his wife (now, I don't do my good deeds for reward, but hey, if they want to give me stuff that's fine too). She said that she'd call him on his mobile (cell phone), and I continued on my way to do some shopping.

When I got home there was a message on my answering machine. It was Brett (the owner)

"Hey WT, next time I'm around your place I'll have to give you… [yes! score! here's comes the meat tray!]… a farmyard book. [WTF?!?! what's he talking about?] That's not a calf, that's a pig."

Well fuck me! Now I really feel like a country boy (not!), however in my defence, it was the same size as a calf and there are a bunch of calves in the paddock next to the road there.

It would have come from one of these as there are no pigs around my property (this picture was taken a couple of years ago, but funnily enough, they are parked directly across the road from where the pig was laying. click if for a better shot of the rigs that they use)…


* I'm serious, everyone wears this outfit, it feel like I'm walking through a school yard every time I go into town.

** This was a bit of a linkfest, sorry.


24 Responses

  1. Don’t apologise for the links, I clicked ’em all so I got the whole picture. You have such a way with words, whatever happened to plain sticking out like a sore thumb!??? Instead I have a crazy image of a poor low slung cat stuck in my head.

    I thought the dude in the whole ensemble was terribly sexy.

  2. That guy looks suspiciously like a cowboy from the county where I grew up decked out for winter. Except for the whip. Our cowboys would more likely be carrying a lariat.

    Of course in the summer, that hat would be straw and the duster would be hanging in the closet.

  3. Okay! Be still my heart! I thought you were going to announce you had taken to wearing blue singlets and flannelette shirts!

    Pigs/Cows honest mistake!

    Keeping a low profile, now thats another matter! You really should not pick on iron deficient poets, I wrote you a little something on my blog! I was feeling a wee bit uninspired as to Robins weekly challenge and then your sweet comments came to mind!

    PS> That pig sooooo looks nothing like a cow! LOL!

  4. Okay! Be still my heart! I thought you were going to announce you had taken to wearing blue singlets and flannelette shirts!

    Pigs/Cows honest mistake!

    Keeping a low profile, now thats another matter! You really should not pick on iron deficient poets, I wrote you a little something on my blog! I was feeling a wee bit uninspired as to Robins weekly challenge and then your sweet comments came to mind!

    PS> That pig sooooo looks nothing like a cow! LOL!

  5. Woops! Sorry for the double clicking there! Its this laptop it does not like me! And I have absolutely no idea why it put my name in once and not the other time! Hmmm??

  6. well, calf is closer than what i thought it was. i thought it was a dog.

  7. I like a man in uniform.

  8. “Was that a wild pig then?” asks the citified now suburban/urban fringe American lass? The moleskin pants although nice seem expensive, but you did mention the cost.

    Tranny meaning…?

  9. I thought it was a pig when I clicked for the closer look I could have done without.

  10. Ahhh… the joys of not wearing an akubra or Oilskin just to get some milk, huh? heh heh.

    I’m what is considered a “longhair” out here, so am usually treated with a fair amount of disdain by various locals ’round here. F@rk ’em! heh heh.

    Mal 🙂

  11. I’m kind of disappointed you don’t wear that every day, I prefer to stereotype everyone I know and you’re just making it difficult. Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me Marnie has all her teeth.

  12. I bet they’d think you’re really a freak if they knew you wore thongs along with flipflops.

  13. Australian cowboys (or whatever you call them there) are hot, too. I prefer our cowboy boots, though, even if they are harder to get on and off.

    I have the same sort of wardrobe concerns no matter where I go. I don’t want to appear to be dressing as someone I’m not, but I’m always afraid of sticking out like, uh, I’ll go with a sore thumb.

    BTW,when do we get to see a picture of you dressed up to go out with your tranny friends?

  14. Who knew moleskin pants is just a different name for skinny jean?!!
    I have always pictured you in the Akubra hat, please tell me you have one! Oh well, you will always wear one in my dreams!!

  15. Dear willowtree. Looks like something chomped on its neck, whatever it is. What would have done that? Pig shooters or animals?

  16. I, for one, am glad it was a cowpig because I thought it was a dog.

    and you know from that artwork I posted that I always see you in a hat in a hot tub!

  17. Hey WT. I am TOTALLY feeling you on the NOT-DRESSING-UP thing. I absolutely hate it. I catch a lot of guff from friends and family because I literally live in my sweats. Sweats and t-shirts do me just fine. Occasionally, I’ll squeeze into some jeans and a nice sweater, but that’s the extent of gettin purdy. I wear flip flops religiously — but I DO live in the City where it rains 70% of the year, so the flip flops share their glory with my skate shoes.

    I thought the picture was a dog.

    And regarding the baby t-shirts in your last post, I have a GREAT little red number that my daughter wears. It’s a picture of two little fetuses – and there’s a speech bubble that informs the reader, “I ate my twin.” It grabs lots of attention at the playground.

  18. Dude, I was wondering WTF? B/c I clicked, saw the pig, and then you started talking about a calf? I was beginning to think that your country was home to some damn ugly calves. And not just on your women.

  19. That was a pig?! Guess I should borrow that farmyard book when you’re done with it. I’ve never seen a pig that hairy.

    Why was only his neck consumed like that?

    No, it wasn’t too much of a linkfest. I enjoyed it. So, the Crocodile Dunee character wasn’t too far from reality, eh?

    Do model one of the local hats for us sometime! 😉

    And please enlighten us. Just how do dog’s balls vary from cat’s balls?

  20. And all this time I thought the whole Aussie look was just Hollywood glam. You mean to tell me they REALLY dress like that. Too cool.

    Okay – mutant pig….from the picture it looks like that.

  21. see, I always picture you as the man from Snowy River, only wrangling dogs instead of brumbies. Now, I’ll have to change the costumes in my movie.

    Ugly pig. Uglier calf.

  22. Indeed balls on a cat are very noticeable. When I took Remi in to have his tamed… they gave him a vasectomy. Can you believe it? I was shocked. I told them that I wanted them GONE. The vet informed me that no one did that anymore and why didn’t I just take my cat home because he was probably very tired from his ordeal. I’m still convinced that the cat is still ALL MALE. The evidence certainly suggests — well, it’s below his balloon knot and looks like balls — they must still work. Can you really give a cat a vasectomy??

    Hilarious about the pig! We have wild boars all over the place here. They tree hunters periodically. We think they are a blast!


  23. I must admit, when I read ‘thongs’, the first thing I thought of was underwear.

    I’m sorry.

    I’ve been around too many teenaged girls obsessed with trying to be older than they are.

  24. Honestly, I didn’t know what it was and assumed it was yet another of your local critters that I hadn’t been familliar with. And when you said “calf” I accepted it as “calf” even though it didn’t look like one to me… but neither does it look like a pig…

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