Ok, I’ve stalled as long as is humanly possible so I should just bite the bullet and write the dam post. Although in truth I really don’t see how biting a bullet will help, I would have thought turning the computer on would be more advantageous.
Anyway, it all started late in the afternoon of the 23rd of August 1954. My mother, who always was a little on the largish side (we liked to call it big boned) was unusually large at this particular point in time. Not only that, she seemed to be in some mild discomfort, due to a ‘soon to be person‘ thinking it was about time he joined society. And so it was that early in the morning of the 24th of Aug, I was ejected from my womb with a view, in much the same manner that a pop-tart leaves the toaster. Not wanting to be a nuisance, I just slide right out of there (I’ve always been very considerate like that).
Skipping forward a few short years and you find the ol’ WT entering the prime of his life and looking forward to travelling to the coast to pick up his booty romance his wife. I got there on Friday arvo without incident, except for the huge crash that saw me stuck in gridlock for about 30 minutes (5 minutes from my destination!) still I can’t complain, judging by the total destruction of three cars involved, there were people having a worse time than me.
MDW had already bought me a nifty new phone that just about does it all, and I love it! But she also offered to buy me a camera. However knowing what a prick I am, she wouldn’t do it unless I made the final decision on which one, while actually standing in the store with her! She’s a clever one that MDW, experience has taught her well. Having reading a heap of reviews prior to going to the Coast, I ultimately decided on this baby. Even though I haven’t really done much with it yet, I know we’ll be really happy together, oh and speaking of which, I’d like to congratulate my good friends Dirty Aunt Marnie and Dirty Uncle Mark on the their recent betrothal. I suppose I’ll eventually forgive Marnie for breaking off our engagement, and throwing our wedding plans into disarray, to be with that refugee from Daktoka.
Anyway back to me, I’m the interesting one (something that Marnie will eventually come to realise after spending time with her gay lawyer). I learned some neat new lingo while I was on the Coast, I’m really hip now. Before I even went to the Coast, I downloaded all the groovy software available for my phone, but as expected, there was no data cable in the box. After much searching we finally found one, but the hip young dude in the shop, mediately recognised me as the ‘with it wannabe’ I really am, and said “yeah, you can get the data cable, but for only $10 more you can get a bluetooth dongle”.
Mmmmm d-o-n-g-l-e, I has to have one! He said “these are really simple, and if you change phones you don’t need to get another cable”, which I later discovered to mean “you wait until you try to get this fucking thing working you stupid old fart, that’ll teach you to try to act cool”. But hey, I’m down with it, and it only took me most of yesterday to realise I really am a stupid old fart. Oh well, I don’t need no stinking software!
**Brief update: One of the cats (Beau) was pleased to see me when I got back and cuddled all afternoon, the other two didn’t show up until around midnight, then they just ate a pissed off again.