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The time we got Bentley pt 2.

It was painfully clear to us that the orphaned beagle was, at best, eccentric (but as that is an adjective reserved for those with money, it was unlikely), or at worst, just plain crazy (the term more cimmonly used for those who don’t have any money). Ok then, since he couldn’t be eccentric…psychotic it was! Obviously, no-one in their right mind would take on a brain damaged beagle, that left us with little choice other than to make our way back to the office and announce to a bemused volunteer, “we’ll take him”.

“Oh good, she gleefully replied”, in a manner not unlike a used car salesman who has just unloaded four wheels connected to a ton and a half of bondo. “But you can’t take him just yet, he has a severe throat infection and an intense flea infestation. Oh, and we need to loosen a couple of nuts, actually we need to remove them completely”, what she didn’t mention were the five ticks that they were yet to find an remove, (also done at their expense), or the almost fatal ear infection and the chronic skin condition (which were to become our (financial) responsibility), however, they were remedied in due course simply by connecting him permanently to an ATM.

“Ok, fine” I said, thinking this would give me time to build a gate, (not that I’d really need one, he’ll be so glad tho have a home, no way would he want to run away. Naive? You could say that) but as it’s a requirement of the RSPCA, I was happy to comply. Turned out to be a pretty good idea.

About a week later I was given the go ahead to come and get him.

After grass surfing out way back to the car, I was expecting him to jump into the back without hesitation and eagerly await his arrival at the new digs. Ok, no prizes for guess that he stopped dead in his tracks an stared in abject terror at the 18″ that he’d have to jump in order to get into the car (in case you don’t already know, beagles escape by going under fences, not over them). There was no way in the world that he was going to make the huge leap required, so I picked him up and tossed him in.  I’m not sure how he managed to get himself to the shelter in the first place, but he sure hadn’t been in too may cars, his consternation would have been sad if it wasn’t so funny. Two or three days later,  having exhausted every device known to dog training, and in a state of severe depression/desperation at not being able to get my new dog best friend in to my car without a dogapault, I discovered exactly how food driven beagles really are! One doggie treat did the trick, with two I could get a double backwards inverse pike with half twist.

The second day that he was with us I learned a very valuable lesson: beagles do not respond to voice commands if there are open spaces in sight. Would have been nice to have learned this before we were actually in open spaces. Three hours later I managed to get a leash on him and drag his arse bring him back home. That was a lesson well learned, too bad I didn’t learn lesson two at the same time. Lesson two: do not buy cheap crappy leashes with non industrial strength fittings (that son of a bitch could really put some stress on a lead, and apparently he feels no pain, at one time I had quite a collection of broken fittings).

But even with his new-found ability to get into the car, and his exuberance at the mere hint of going on an expedition, he was still extremely quite and reserved in the house, so much so that I began to appreciate what a great little dog we had. Needless to say that feeling was short-lived.

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34 Responses

  1. First! Ha ha! Now thats amazing these days!

  2. I am amazed at Bentleys sad start to life. And even more amazed that with 5 tics, he could still grass surf! I bow down to his amazingness! I never could have imagined Beagles were such hard work! I will make sure I never fall in love with one okay?

  3. It really was his lucky day, the day he decided to adopt you!!
    I love that photo, he looks like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.
    Wot’s “bondo” then?

  4. Bentley looks so majestic in this pose.

  5. Reading this post made me think back to when the girls were teenagers and we took in Beagle that was found wandering locally. We couldn’t bear to think of it ending up in the dogs home and risking being put down. We spent a fortune on getting him checked and having injections only for the owner to come forward. I recall we didn’t even get a proper thank you or the offer to reimburse our expenses!

  6. How did you pick the name Bentley?

    He looks pretty chill in the photo…….Just like he is his own man surveying his own universe. Or more likely, contemplating his next meal!

  7. Too funny that you couldn’t convince Bentley to look at the camera. Great photo and speaks volumes because I have a feeling you were tyring to get him to do so. Does he make that “bugle-baying” sound that beagles are famous for? I just love that.
    Lucky dog to have found you.
    I’m sure he’s become even more psychotic/neurotic since he’s been with you. 🙂
    Did I miss where you explained why you chose the name Bentley?

  8. Near fatal ear infection? Wow. You’ll have to tell us more about that. Part III?

  9. This is where I sound like a horrible mother and say I swear I have a child who sounds an awful lot like Bentley. No ticks and fleas and such, but good grief the things that child does. Love these stories. The picture of Bentley is priceless.

  10. Bentley is lucky to have found you. And lucky to have actually been allowed to stay.

    Apparently some schnauzers don’t respond to voice commands in view of wide open spaces, either. I just spent a chunk of my lovely Sunday morning following Jack around the neighborhood because I thought he might want to go outside with me to get the newspaper. (Stupid, stupid woman.)

  11. Seems to me like our lovable Bentley just about has a book in his stories!

  12. Bentley is a doll. I myself have 4 wacky animals, each with their own weirdness. Bentley sounds like he would fit in just fine :-). Thanks for the funny post.

  13. My GOODNESS!

  14. I am definitely enjoying this story!!

  15. hahaha I can’t wait for the next instalment…this is great!

  16. He’s a horizon dog. He sees the horizon and keeps on going. I had an airedale terrier that was as stubborn about the car rides as this one sounds. I admire your patience with this guy. I couldn’t do it with the black and tan coonhound. She wore me down and I gave her back to my colleague who at least had a kennel on her property in which to keep the beast.

  17. Wow, you sure have a knack for finding the challenging ones!

  18. Bentley actually sounds pretty easy going for a beagle!!! But yeah, that open spaces thing does tend to cancel their ability to hear or respond. Poor thing with ticks and fleas and a horrible ear infection too. He must have been so miserable, it’s a wonder he was the least bit sociable when you met him…most dogs in that condition would be very grumpy. I’m glad you saw how special he was…seems you are very lucky to have each other!

  19. And I thought Bentley was normal…. Normal and Beagle are not two words that fit together it seems.

  20. I loved the line about hooking him up to the ATM – that’s perfect! My dogs, for a couple of years, only got injured every other Tuesday. Any bets when payday was?

    Dogs – the gift that keeps on costing.

  21. You should be very happy, Peter. You don’t need to divorce YDW to up your comment count. Bentley is doing it for you.

    I think you owe him a treat.

  22. No wonder my dog bit him on the bum.

  23. You’re so right about the eccentric bit. He’s lucky you took him on and saw the potential in him. I think you sell yourself short sometimes WT. 😀

  24. Love it, can’t wait for the next installment!

    Good job, both as blogger and humanitarian!

  25. Awesome!!!

    MUST READ MORE ABOUT INSANELY DARLING PUPPY!!!

    Blessings!
    Lacy

  26. Having babysat my friends beagle JUST ONCE – I totally understand the sudden deafness in wide open spaces. Fortunately for me, she wouldn’t cross the creek and that saved us from having to chase her across town.

  27. See how easy we are to entertain? Keep the critter stories coming. So far so good…

  28. “…with two I could get a double backwards inverse pike with half twist.”

    Best line in a dog post, ever.

  29. I really love the way you tell your tales! I can hear a part3! I’m looking forward to it.

  30. aw, shades of riley! (fear of cars.) we just got back from up north, a five-hour drive during which i spent the entire five hours pushing on riley trying to keep him in the back seat. he wants to crawl in front and ride on my lap, but at 42 pounds he is not a lap dog.

    i finally gave up and let him ride the final mile home in style, on top of me.

  31. I read once that beagles are the absolute worst at voice training, but do well with hand signals. Jake is ok w/ voice, but better with hand. Wonder if you’ve tried that? (It’s always a bit of a lark when we’re out, people act like he’s some sort of genius and I’m a show-off for using hand signals, but it’s much easier.)

  32. OK. OK. OK. Enough of the rant. We hear you !
    Build a bridge and get over it.
    Let’s see some smut, or Belle, or Vegemite, or something…

  33. Woops ! Wrong post. Forgive me. This one, for some reason didn’t load at the top and I thought you were still ranting.

  34. Wait a minute. That rant is still at the top. Me thinks I’ve had too much wine…

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