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Mid Blog Crisis.

Things had gotten to the point where I was restless in the relationship, you know what it’s like; the same old stuff… day after soul destroying day. The magic had gone, there was just no spark, then out of nowhere appears a younger, more attractive version of what you have gotten bored with. All young and funny, with curves in all the right places, and an appetite for adventure that makes you feel young again. She seemed to hang on my every word, and being a silly old fart with a boundless ego, it was total infatuation from the beginning. I should mention at this point, that prior to running off with the vivacious Ms Plurk, I had also done a spot of bigamy, moving in with Mrs WordPress, without actually divorcing Mrs Typepad (hereafter referred to as Mrs W Blog and Mrs T Blog respectively.

Where both Mrs T Blog and Mrs W Blog were old school, Ms Plurk was in the groove baby! And while both Mrs Blogs were really only interested in doing it once a day, Ms Plurk was up for it at any time, and I mean any time, all day everyday! She was a happenin’ 24/7 type gal (see what I mean? I would never have said something so hip before I got mixed up with her and her friends). However, being the loyal type that I am, I immediately ditched not only Mrs W Blog, but all our friends as well. Yes I know I’m a bad person, but hey…that’s part of my roguish charm!

Things were fine for a while, Mrs T Blog had long seen it as the mid-blog crisis that it was, and just waited patiently for me to return, which I never did. Mrs W Blog and I still talked but not very often, I was too wrapped up in my L.A. Story world. The excitement was just too appealing, and well I’m a happenin’ guy. But eventually, the shine began to fade, just like it does with all such relationships, and I was starting to feel more like Steve Allen than Steve Martin. But I kept up appearances, and even made the decision to finally divorce Mrs T Blog. That’s when the shit really hit the fan.

As I’ve mentioned previously, in an act not unlike packing up all my valuables and throwing them onto the street, the second I told Mrs T Blog that I was leaving for good, she deleted all my posts! Boy, I’ll tell ya, hell hath no fury like a Blog spurned! It wasn’t a total disaster though, as I had already moved most of my clothes into Mrs W Blog’s house 6 months ago (i.e. imported all the TypePad posts), but images don’t import. It wasn’t a problem up until now,Ā  as the WordPress posts simply linked to the TypePad image servers, but when I told her I wanted out, that all ended abruptly. Well fuck her anyway, I’ll fix what I need to and forget the rest. At least I’m no longer paying alimony.

But that now brings me to my current situation. I have to tell you, Ms Plurk is really wearing me out, and I’m on the verge of asking Mrs W Blog to take me back. So, if she’ll have me, first thing I’ll do is write the Belle update for you. We can only hope that she will forgive my infidelity and open her bosom (hehe, I said bosom) to me, I also hope our mutual friends (you guys) will be kind too.

Now I just have to tell Ms Plurk that it’s over and I just want to be friends…fuck! That may not be easy.

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44 Responses

  1. Welcome back – we missed you.
    Amanda.

  2. šŸ™‚

    Even a strapping young guy like you can only take 24/7 for so long, eh?

  3. Did you say something about Belle?

  4. That Ms. Plurk sure is an addictive bitch, isn’t she?
    I could have written this post, well no I couldn’t, you’re a much better writer than I. Anyway. My point is I went bag to the blog too. I was never cut out for a lesbian relationship anyway.

  5. Back to the blog. Someday I’ll read a comment before hitting submit.

  6. Ahhh, but I would have never found you and Mrs W had you not dallied with Ms Plurk. Keep em both happy bucco šŸ™‚

  7. I know how it feels. Plurk has become Pressure.

  8. hoooray!! the W is back!

  9. Yes, that Ms. Plurk – she’s kind of a drama queen, ya know? I’d enjoy a few posts from you.

  10. I couldn’t keep up with Plurk for long. Too time consuming. Actually my blog is suffering too. It’s a hard balance to keep.

  11. Mrs. W is much more understanding than I’d ever be.

  12. We made up new rules while you were gone.

  13. It’s about time!

  14. I can hear strains of “Your Cheatin’ Heart” twanging through this post!!

    I suggest Plurkus Interuptus and some sessions of Blog Counseling for you and Mrs W to get your groove back.

  15. Is wondering if you are contemplating a shift to Utah – polygamy seems to be quite prevalent in those parts.

  16. I divorced Ms Plurk a while ago. Couldn’t maintain the pace and keep up with everything else. It was sultry yet demanding Ms. Plurk or dependable yet less immediately gratifying Ms everything else. Being the old fart I am I chose the latter.

  17. Peter, take it easy on that coffee man.

  18. Your devotees will follow you- it was all your fault I went to Ms Plurk in the beginning! Some people are just so fickle!!

  19. The great awakening!!!!!

  20. Holy crap! I too had a fling with Plurk, but, as you know, quit cold turkey a few months back. (Oh, you hadn’t noticed?) Now I find out Plurk is a woman (How did she manage to hide that?) AND that she really seems to get around a lot as you and others here have all had a turn with her–many simultaneously. I feel so cheap and dirty.

    Great post, WT. I’m glad to see you back and in your old fine form. The pet posts are great, too, but this sort is my favorite.

  21. LOL! Plurkus interuptus! I’d forgotten how funny your comments section can be:o)

  22. open her bosom. hmmm. could be sexy. could be gory.

  23. Good luck with that!

    I’m just glad you are not disappearing off the face of the internet world.

  24. lol @Kat with a K, “Plurkus Interuptus”. Good thing your on my feed reader, and as said above…wouldn’t have found you or your other Mrs if not for plurk…*turns to give Ms Plurk a comforting hug*.
    You’ll be back šŸ˜‰

  25. So you expect to come crying back and asking for another chance do you? Well just remember it’s your last!

    Now you know the grass isn’t always greener, just looks that way for a while.

    Really it is nice to see you back, honestly.

  26. I have to second Kayta. Good luck!

  27. I’m thinking I might get away with the occasional surreptitious rendezvous with Ms P. But I came here first this morning, so that’s a start.

  28. Oh thank heavens, I knew you’d come to your senses … Ms Plurk was always just a passing fancy, we could all see it. I’m sure Miss W Blog will have you back, she seems quite a forgiving sort.

    Um, I got my internet problems sorted out. The Telecom techie came and … plugged everything in correctly. I kid you not. My mortification knows no bounds.
    So after buying a set of new cables and a new broadband filter, plus paying the techie to come plug me in correctly, you better supply me with some bloody good posts to make me feel like it was worth all the money and shame!!!!!!!

  29. Whenever, whatever and whatever you say where and when – we’ll still love ya, matey! Yeah, i kinda got ‘over’ Plurk pretty quickly… as in, feeling the need to spend like four hours a day just sitting there! i drop in for 30 minutes about 2 or 3 days a week now, to keep in touch with special people when I can. As far as the whole online thing goes, i never feel an ‘obligation’ to Blog or Plurk. That’s just me, tho. If people really need to contact me if I’m not Plurking or Blogging for various reasons, there’s always email. It’s no biggie.

    Online life isn’t always a real life… hhmmm…

    Each to their own šŸ™‚ No worries šŸ™‚

    Cyalayta
    Mal šŸ™‚

  30. Nicely put, WT…”Well fuck her anyway.” Maybe someday we will forget the electronic world and return to the people in real life. No, I would miss my fucking Plurk/Blog buddies. They do not seem to mind my foul mouth…or foul fingers. šŸ˜‰

  31. I knew it was just a phase. Am glad you’re back, though – the wait for updates on the Dingo menagerie was killing me.

  32. I was hoping we could all outlast that selfish bitch.

  33. Forget the “just friends” shit…that never works! Especially with a mistress like pathological Plurk! We’ll welcome you back to blogdom…but not our bosoms!!! This was a great start to “Classic WT” top it off with a traditional “Belle Post” and we’ll probably be well on our way to forgiving you for your insulting ignoring of us for the past several months. We might even remember to start coming by again!

  34. Nice to see ya write! What about merging the stories and publish a book! I want a picture of the wild pig hunters on the front cover!

    I enjoy your stories but please don’t feel obligated to write everyday – maybe two times a week! šŸ™‚

    Animals! I caught our German Shorthair Pointer red-handed with our now deceased Black Bear Hamster, Bingo in her mouth! Boy if I could have gotten a photo of that! Hey – I know how to manipulate photos! I can take a photo of Bingo in the Dora the Explorer truck, cut and paste Bingo’s photo in our dogs mouth – wouldn’t that look pretty. FYI – Bingo was I presumed squeeze to death rather than torn apart.

    Hey, hey, hey …. between a pot of coffee, Price is Right, dog walk, mail run and receiving a half of cow how does one financially survive out in the open fields with expensive vet bills? Another words – what the hell do you do for a living? Do you sell your stories for a living šŸ™‚

  35. Do you have a blog SRWB ?

  36. Before you go making any hasty decisions, think about all those ladies on the Jerry Springer Show – psycho, tentacled bee-atches from hell. Yeah. Well, I think Ms. Plurk has those tendancies. Watch yourself. šŸ˜‰

  37. Welcome back, and just as I’d given you up!

  38. Wow, I had to look at my reader twice to see if my eyes were deceiving me. Sure enough here you are. Nice to see you back posting!

  39. Finally! I knew Plurk would wear you out, it wore me out just hearing about it :-). I am so happy you are back I may have to dance :-).

  40. Ditto what rotten correspondent said.

  41. Heh heh. I avoided that plurk chick. I new she’d want too much attention and didn’t trust myself not to be taken in. I’m glad I did now. If she got you WT she could get anyone.

  42. Oh my hell – you crack me up!

    Why don’t you do like I do and just stalk all of them (but in my case they are MR. W.org, MR.W.com, MR. Twitter and MR. Plurk, ). Although I have started fooling around with Mr. W.org a bit more recently – it is oddly satisfying (~sigh~).

  43. No – I have no web addictions! LOL

    I rather have addictions to cookie dough and our cat -we recently rescued Bobbie from a home that had 175 cats/kittens in the home rented by two brothers around 50. The house since has been demolished.

    Kila, a hometown friend, brought me to you years ago.

    SRWB

  44. You know that Ms. Plurk is really probably Mr. Plurk … the evil toaster …. and that he has probably been sending you pictures of some girl he is stalking who set his heart a twitter, but who, un-be-known-st to him is actually a hooker going by the nick name of “li’l pop tart” … Deceptive little streudel.

    Forget about him!!!.

    Come back to us! Well … there’s really no good reason to come back to us … we have no streussel and no pop tarts … unless you count those cheap knock off pop tarts in my cupboard that the kids won’t eat, no matter how many times I toast them.

    But we like you. Well … I can only speak for myself … but I like you and I am looking forward to you getting back to blogging a little more often … and to me visiting everyone’s blogs a little more often.

    Court is done. We lost the house. C’est la vie. Life will go on. At least we finally have free time now. And at least the stress of not knowing is finally over.

    Happy Thanksgiving! Do you have that in Australia? We have it in America. And I am thankful for all of the things/people/health that I do have. A house is just a “thing” ….. everything will come out all right in the end.

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