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Virtual sureality.

WT stared blankly at the monitor. “How did it come to this?” he pondered. He was not only bewildered, but bemused and befuddled to boot.

When did he lose the ability to talk in the first person singular?… was a question that kept rattling around in his cavernous consciousness (along with a fiery debate over the correct use of ellipses, which btw shouldn’t appear after a question mark).  He was also alarmed, anxious and annoyed by and apparent absence of ability to write without alliteration.

“Grrrr!” he said out loud to no-one in particular (in fact to no-one at all, as he was alone with his thoughts), and the room rumbled with the resonance of the utterance. “MotherFucker!” he exclaimed, “now I’m afflicted with both impotence and onomatopoeia!” he hissed.

He decided couldn’t fix the onomatopoeia, so he would work on the impotence instead. And with that he hit publish and went in search of porn.

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29 Responses

  1. pr0n? Did you say pr0n?

  2. I’ll be honest: I had to google onomatopoeia. Chortle.

  3. It’s easy to kinda get stuck in that train of thought sometimes, huh? Home alone and sitting in front of a computer trying to think of something intelligent to say… what to do? What to do?

    Pron? On the internet? Really? I’d no idea! [giggles happily]. Actually i honestly can’t remember the last time I saw pron online… not my cuppa really thesedays! But yeah… there’s always something norty lurking just around the corner on the web, huh? Bugger it.

    How’s your water going up there? I know it’s warming up [and summer just kinda slowly crept in rather than launched itself this year, huh?] Hope the doggies are safe from snakes and that too. Stay safe yourself.

    I’d like to catch-up sometime soon, over a non-agenda casual cuppa sometime maybe, if that’d be OK? I think i need to come out for a drive. once i get this stoopid wisdom tooth removed on Wednesday, then i should be able to get out and about again.

    I donlt have ‘cabin fever’, but it’d be good to, like you say, physically interact with people for a change face to face, rather than saying ‘lol’ too much.

    Thanks again. Sorry if I’m rabbiting on! I’m just in a good happy mood.

    Cyalayta
    Mal 🙂

  4. nah i think you’re awright, i cant even spell those words

    happy porn day dad… please considered to give me a brother after that…lol

    HUGS

  5. Less is more so I’m not commenting LOL

  6. Very funny, WT! It’s good to see you posting again. And you know I love that alliteration!

    I’m having some trouble shaking off my own posting slump. I really do hate November through January in so many ways. I get busy with holiday preparations, then I get angry about being busy and scheduled to the hilt and get super lazy, the kids are on vacation, nothing is routine yet I’m not free to do just anything–ugh. I end up trying to escape into other blogs and since I don’t have enough time without interruption, I just post comments instead of writing my own posts. Today marks the day that everything starts to get back on schedule though. There’s comfort in predictability and routine. If it can’t exactly be classified as “adventure”, I want comfortable routine.

  7. oh man, except for a very very few (enid being one of them) i find third person blogs extremely irritating. get over it, WT. quick.

    and by the way, i think of you as someone who is often bemused and befudled.

  8. I have that same problem. I find myself using Plurk verbs WAY WAY too often these days.

  9. onomatopoeia is one of my favorite words to say, similar to fuck, it just rolls of the tongue. I love that you used both in this post!!

  10. planetofjanet hates the use of third person too.

  11. Come read my new post about a raccoon. It was sad but true.

  12. Rudee sat and sat trying to think of something clever to say in response. She had to admit she was out of her league, especially when she too had to google WTs big words. She sat in awe of his slick wordplay.

  13. LOL! Kila *thinks* that was a bit much to handle on a Monday morning, when Kila already *feels* befuddled! Kila *loves* the post. Kila *hopes* WT will post again soon. Kila *is* saying good-bye now. *Plurkitis.*

  14. haha…pretty good for someone that claims to have a big empty noggin

  15. Holy Shit WT! That must have been some New Years party!!!! Drink some juice, eat some simple carbs when your stomach is ready, then take a nap…you’ll feel better when you wake up!!!!!

  16. OH come on – onomatopoeia is about one of the funnest words to say ever. It just rolls off the tongue.

  17. Is bewildered, bemused and befuddled new for you?

  18. Hahaha! Thats about as much as I can laugh at the moment. So do you want some more dogs? Mine are starting to cost more than the dozen kids we have!

  19. I thought p*rn was when you cooked lima beans and corn together.

    oops. my bad. That is Succotash.

  20. Sounds very impressive. I’m sitting at my desk writing a big end of year report, I think I’ll just copy some of WT’s text into it, the words seem nice and big. I’m sure that’ll impress.

  21. I am impressed.You wrote a post with alliteration and onomatopoeia. Since you cannot fix the onomatopoeia, I wish you well with the other. Meow ! 😉

  22. :-). That’s all, just :-).

  23. Me thinks you should consult your vet for that onomatopoeia condition of yours. Sounds like a urinary tract infection to me.

  24. My life has erupted into a different world since my other half is around all the time. We can’t open our other place until spring. If we are still speaking to each other by then. HELP! I need to get out…..of here…planning the beach trip for early spring…Now doesn’t that make your life seem a WHOLE lot better?? This post rocked, by the way! How is it…that even when you have nothing to say, you end up with a good one??

  25. WT you are the only person I know who can make problems hysterical!

  26. I just knew that Plurk would get you in the end WT.

  27. If plurk gets you in the end, does that make it part of the porn?

  28. Ruff, Ruff!! Easier than porn but perhaps not as satisfying….

  29. OMG I new I made a mistake by not trying harder to get online… to funny!

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